Your Love is Endless Words
by cutewithgreeneyes
Summary: When a druggy skater chick with a hard homelife befriends a popular cheerleader with an abusive boyfriend in creative writing class, will they be able to comfort and mend eachother through the power of their words? Or is more lying between the lines?liley
1. Creative Writing

**Guys I'm a monster for not updating so im reloading all the chapters but I jus wanna say im soooo sorry school is a bitch that likes to get in the way!**

The halls of Belleview High were congested by pacts of bored people. Some smelled like showers were a foreign concept to their body, others smelled like they cared about the impressions of the first day of school. Tight jeans, preppy skirts, and ragged shorts came around, the owners fitting their style with perfection. The sights and smells bombarded the bright greens eyes and petite cream nose of Miley Stewart, as her heels stabbed at the checkered tile. Books in hand, her steps were precise and quick as a cluster of boys walked behind her, admiring the view of long legs faded into a bright white skirt.

The boys were quick to disperse, however, as a tall, blonde, beauty came into view. Jake Ryan; captain of the basketball team, and downright cutest junior in the school. Miley walked nonchalantly to his locker, and he made a cursory pass of her attire.

"Well don't you look darling today Ms. Stewart." He smiled his preppy smile and lifted her hand to his lips in his typical 'old-fashioned' courtesy.

"Well I'm flattered, Mr. Ryan, and how I adore that dashing vest." She mocked his Old English, and still in holding his hand, lightly kissed him.

"Well, now, if I knew compliments were so rewarding, I'd have to say them every second. Did I mention your hair looks marvelous?" Miley patted his nose gently, punishing his boyish act, but lent in for a longer kiss.

Lily lent against the locker, watching with disdain the sight of the picturesque couple in a post-kiss embrace. Oliver came over to her locker, slamming it closed to get her attention. He was dressed in a long, oversized white South Pole jacket, with a pair of long jean shorts and a big hat with a hex on it. He had grown a goatee, gotten a lip piercing, and both ears pierced over the summer, and he looked like a plain druggy. Lily knew it was him at her locker, and continued, in mild jealously, to watch the couple's embrace.

"Looks like Stewart and Ryan are gonna be the 'it' couple again this year, Olly." Oliver offered a brief glance and looked back at Lily.

"I guess. Whatever. Look, why weren't you at the party last night?" Lily didn't look away. Oliver grabbed her chin with his hand and forcefully made her look at him. "I said why weren't you at the fucking party last night." Lily slapped his hand away.

"I didn't feel like getting high and fucked before the first day of school. Why do you care?" He snorted.

"What, you think you're gonna just up and be a good person this year? You can't do that. You know we have way too much fun together." He smiled wickedly and pushed his lips on Lily, who quickly pushed him off.

"Get off me, Oliver. Not here. Not now."

"Look, you gotta put out bitch." He grabbed her face with his rough hands, and forced his tongue in her mouth. She kissed back without feeling; and when he was satisfied with their 'kiss' he shoved her off.

"You better get better at that, and start showing up to parties. You have duties." She wanted to spit at him and knee him where the sun don't shine, but instead, she grabbed his sleeve. "What?!" He shot back at her.

"Look, pick me up at lunch. Bring a fat doobie and I'll make up for missing the party." She looked pleadingly at him.

"Whatever. Show up. Put out." He walked off and she grabbed her books and headed to class. She _did_ want to be better this year. And she _didn't _want him controlling her like last year. But he had the best weed in town. And she _definitely_ needed a pick-me-up.

Lunch time came and Miley was quickly in Jake's arms. He was proud of showing her off, being the cheerleader she was, and she was certainly very cute, but she was also very prude in the sex before marriage sense, and he was getting antsy. Upon passing a reminder poster about Homecoming, Jake pulled Miley over to the side.

"Hey Miles, you know Homecoming's coming up and I was wondering-"

"Of course I'll go with you silly!" She smiled and kissed him quickly. He moved his hand up behind his head, as was a nervous habit, and looked at Miley.

"Well yeah of course you're going with me; I mean you're my girl. But I was actually wondering if you could let me show you how much I love you that night. My parents won't be home and …" He trailed off, waiting for Miley's response.

"You mean like-"

"Yeah Miles. Please. I really wanna show you. I mean you're the only one on the cheerleading team, and I'm the only one on the basketball team that… you know … haven't …'done anything.' I want it to be with you and not some girl I pick up. And it's gonna have to happen soon." Miley backed away a little.

"What do you mean you don't want it with another girl? You're damn right you don't. I'm your girlfriend. How could you even say that you pig?!"

"Well if you're my girlfriend why don't you do something about it? Be a fucking girlfriend and act like it."

"Oh so kissing you in public, holding your hand, going on a date with you every week, sitting with you at lunch, that's not being a girlfriend? You know what; I_ don't _wanna go to homecoming with you anymore. And if after a year and a half you can watch me walk away like I'm about to, and not run up behind me, beg, plead, and apologize, then you better find a new girlfriend." With that she turned, walked, and like he was told, Jake followed. By the end of lunch they sat together again, placing quick kisses on each other's mouth.

Lily had been looking forward to, and dreading lunch. It was going to be heaven, sucking in the sweet happiness of weed, and hell repaying Olly for it. Lily wandered into the parking lot, looking for Oliver, and eventually finding him with Joannie at his window. Oliver had a thing for tomboys, and looked like he was getting way too acquainted with this one. _That bitch better back away from Oliver's truck. Stupid hockey bitch. Why am I even jealous? It's not like I'm Olly's girl, but he said he was picking up ME. _She walked over to get a better look. He had his face oddly close to her, probably breathing his musty, drugged breath on her. Lily, though disgusted at the thought, opened the passenger door, got in, and began rolling a doobie. Oliver looked over to see it.

"Hey, hey, wait a second." He turned his attention to Joannie. "Got business baby, hit me up later if you wanna talk." He pecked her and shooed her off. That's the thing about Oliver, he's always sweet at the beginning, but before you know it, he's got you hooked and you're just another bitch.

"What the hell was that? Don't start lighting in front my people. I could kick you out right here bitch." He snatched the joint from Lily's hand, she knew she had given Joannie a taste of how Olly really was by lighting up _his_ weed, and Olly was all about showing girls what they wanted to see (in the beginning) and she had just jeopardized a valued future customer. She wanted to yell and snatch the bud back. But she was too desperate to fight it as he drove out of school grounds.

They came to a stopping point and Oliver lit the doobie, taking in a deep breath.

"Take the rest." Lily wanted to believe this was the kind Olly, offering her the bigger portion of his treasure, but really it was nothing more than the horny Oliver wanting a good result out of a very high tomboy. She sucked in the deep breaths of sweet carelessness, slowly fading into a calm state. Unfortunately, the bud was quickly reaching its end, and Oliver was growing antsy.

She chucked the dead joint out the window and Oliver grabbed her face. He shoved his tongue in her mouth and as was custom she sucked it. Soon enough he had her skater jeans unbuttoned, and he was getting his way. Like always. It sickened her to think about it. But then again sex with Olly was just a sort of perverted money. It didn't mean a thing to either of them. For Oliver it was good, for Lily it was paying for a doobie. A good ten minutes later they were driving back, windows down, popping mints, and spraying perfume.

Lilly walked into the cafeteria just in time to hear the bell dismiss them to 7th period. Gym. She'd discarded Oliver somewhere along the way, and all she wanted to do was beat the shit out of someone in dodge ball.

Miley uneasily slipped away from Jake's overbearing grasp. It seemed every time he messed up, he would fix it by buying her things and sucking up. No doubt there would be roses at her door tonight. She sighed. He was such a pig today. To top of her little lunch fiasco, she would soon get to upchuck it after going to PE.

_Stewart? In my gym class? Well that gorgeous face could use a little wreckage. _Lily smiled at her thoughts and pounded a ball straight at Miley's face. Due to her intoxication she managed to strike Miley hard in the boobs.

_What the fuck? Skater bitch better watch her back._ Miley angrily threw the ball back, too, aiming to rearrange the blonde's face, but it was a feeble and crappy attempt due to her strength. The ball landed flat before her feet. _I. Hate. Gym._

Gym was over more quickly than Lily might've hoped, and she glared into her schedule, dreading the chances of an academic class for 8th period. Creative Writing. The sobered words sat before her in a taunting fashion, daring her to think about how much she hated writing. She looked over to see a certain familiar brunette walking to the dark brown gateway to Creative Writing Class. _Fuck. My. Life._

Miley looked at her schedule, pleading that it wasn't another class she'd have to suffer through, like PE. She glanced at the words Creative Writing. A smile broke into her lips, cracking its way up to her ears. Her heart began to race with childish anticipation. She loved writing.


	2. Forever

**Yay another one…lets not get too excited! **

_Meanwhile_

Jake tugged his _Ralph Polo _shirt down as Trey began conversation regarding Miley. She seemed the constant attention of the Boy's Locker room.

"So Ryan, how's it feel to ride Miley's long tan legs?" Trey smiled at the discomfort in Jake's eyes, and snickered with a few of the nearby teammates.

"It's fine." He swallowed hard and carried on in an attempt to convince. "Ya know my girl's hot as hell. Riding those legs is the best damn thing that ever happened."

Trey narrowed his eyes. "You haven't gotten that far fag breath. Don't make shit up." At this he laughed and was awarded a room full of laughter from other teammates reveling in Jake's embarrassment.

Jake swallowed uneasily and offered a nervous chuckle. "Hey, it's Friday, my parents are out, and I aim to hear my name called over and over. Man I'm gonna have her screaming." He played along looking tough.

"God you sound like a homo. Who you trying to convince? You have no balls. She's way too prude to let you get in her pants."

"I'll work my magic."

"Yeah whatever, we're coming with you to see just how well your magic plays out when you ask her to come over."

"Fine. Soon you'll be begging to learn my skills."

Trey just snickered and busted past, bumping shoulders purposefully. He turned around, grabbed the hem of Jake's shirt and looked him in the eyes.

"Go buy some guy's clothes tranny. At least do us all a favor and _pretend_ to be straight."

With that, Jake was left to dress in silence. He banged his fists on the lockers with force, whispering harsh profanities. He hated being called a homo. He stepped outside the locker, with a plan for Miley, and Trey waiting to see his "magic."

_God that was stupid. _Lily plodded down the hallway, recalling the boredom of the previous class. All it was, was Mr. Falcon blabbing about rules and guidelines for the following semesters. The final bell had rung, and she was more than ready to leave school, but certainly not in the mood to go home. She tried to think of someone to stay with, sleepover with. She had no real friends. _Olly. _She'd stay with Oliver for the weekend, not that her parents would even recognize her absence. She decided to go off and look for the ass.

She found him not far from her lockers, and was dismayed at seeing Joannie very close. She swallowed her anger and quietly nibbled Oliver's ear, discreetly. He pushed her away gently in a 'we'll talk later' fashion. She wanted to push the bitch away. She wanted to tell Oliver to pay attention to her. He was the only one who ever cared, even if the care was rough and aimed at only getting one thing. But, instead, in order to not piss him off before requesting his house to stay at, she cleared out of the way to pick up her books and give him some time with his next prey.

_Damn. At least one class in my schedule will be worth going to school for. _Miley practically skipped down the hallway, and was greeted with Jake and a few of his basketball buddies.

"Hey JJ, kiss for the lady?" She ignored his friends for a moment as she pulled him into a peck. The guys snickered a little in the background, causing Jake to push her off prematurely. She looked stunned and a little hurt.

"You okay Jakey?" A wave of concerned had passed her face.

"Ya. Uhh Miles I was wondering if we could hang out tonight. Ya know just you and me, no parents, at my house." The guys were silent. Miley was not nearly as naïve as people thought she was. She decided to help her boyfriend out, and not humiliate him.

"Yeah, sure babe, see ya tonight." She smiled and winked and walked away slowly. Miley was in a safe distance before Jake turned around to the crowd of boys.

"_That _would be the magic, boys." He smiled cockily and the boys dispersed with mumbles of 'ya…' and 'whatever…,' clearly disappointed at Jake's victory.

Jake walked up behind Miley and hugged her. She turned around with her own cocky face. "You're welcome."

"Ya Miles, sorry about that. They, uhh, think I don't take you out for dates and stuff, just wanted to prove to them that I do. Ya know, that we hang other places other than school."

"I'm not stupid Jake. And you're not getting some!" She was half playful half serious.

"Will you still come over, no funny business, just you, me, cuddling, a movie, and popcorn?" She smiled and obliged, sealing it with a kiss. Jake smiled his preppy smile. _I'll never be called a fag again._

Oliver walked over to Lily, who was leaning against her locker. He put one arm on one of the lockers beside her and leant a little closer to her, leaning on his arm.

"Whatta you want Lil?" His voice was kind of tired and with a relieving calmness. He actually looked and spoke like he cared about her, just a tiny bit. She lived for the moments of what seemed like genuine kindness in him. She milked it for all it was worth, feeling a tiny emotional connection, and wishing she could act on it with love and not lust. She wished he loved her and looked at her with loving eyes, and not dark eyes of desire. But, right now, his eyes looked warm enough to burn a fire in Poland, and she wanted to delve in. This was how she fell for him in the first place.

She put a hand to his cheek and gave him a longing peck, not nearly as satisfactory as he would have wanted, and pulled away, letting her hand linger for only moments after.

"Olly, I need a place to stay the weekend. You free?" _Of course you're free, you're emancipated. _The warmness seemed to falter the tiniest bit. These must've been the eyes he pulled on Joannie to draw her in.

"What do you want Lil? Drugs? Sex?" _Of course. Typical Olly hasn't changed a bit. Why did I believe he was being caring? I'm so stupid. Oh well might as well give it a quick chance. _

"I was hoping maybe I could just chill. Like I could just crash, and we could hang like we used to. I just need a bed Olly." He seemed to grow a little angry. His bipolar temper was the worst fault about him.

"I'm not running a charity Lil. I'm not sheltering the fucking homeless. You wanna stay the night? Convince me you deserve my house." He licked his chapped lips at the end words. _Ew. Damn. Why is there nowhere else to go? _

"Yeah. Whatever." Lily's eyes dropped. Oliver brought his free hand to her chin and lifted it to meet his gaze.

"I hope whatever you're planning to give me tonight is a helluva lot better than what you gave me in the car today." With that he stalked off.

"Be at my house at seven." He called over his shoulder and flipped a cocky peace sign. Lilly sunk slowly down the wall, until she sat with her head in her knees, suppressing the hot bulk of tears behind her eyes.

_Aww look at that poor girl. _Miley looked at her cell. _Three. I have plenty of time to get home. _Her motherly nature, ironically instilled in her even with her lacking of a mother of her own, lashed out of her, willing her legs towards the troubled girl. She was in the junior hall; she must be a junior too. Miley crouched near her, testing the waters.

"Umm hey, are you alright?" The girl didn't even look up. Taking an unsure liberty, Miley put her hand gently on the girls back. When no response or jerk came of it, she began to rub her back.

"Hey are you alright?" Miley tried again.

Lily's head shot up, she assessed the girl whose hand possessed her back. _Stewart._

"Whoa, back the fuck up Stewart." _She's the girl who nailed my boobs in gym! And she was in my writing class? _The words spilled from Miley like vomit…

"Hey you're in my creative writing class, and my gym class. What's your name again?"She decided, upon seeing the girl's obvious distress, that she'd leave out the part about being mashed in the chest. Lily's face twisted in anger. _Can't even remember my name; just another popular bitch. _

"Don't touch me Stewart. Why don't you just leave me the fuck alone and piss off." Miley pulled her hand back quickly, upset that she'd bothered the girl, and increasingly annoyed with her tone.

"I was just trying to help."

"What do I look like, a charity case? Get the hell away from me." Lily scooted away, before deciding to just get up and leave.

"Listen, bitch, I was just trying to help!" Miley shouted after the annoying punk. Lily turned around quickly, flipped the bird, and kept on walking forward. _What an asswipe. Speaking of ass. Wow her ass looks amazing in those jeans. Wait. What the fuck?_

"God I hate skaters." Miley mumbled under her breath as she proceeded to walk to the exit.

Lily lay with her knees up and her back on the bench, as she waited for seven to come. She looked at her cell: five. Lily had been wondering around aimlessly, lying on her normal bench in her normal park and shivering in her coat as the wind picked up. Her stomach was twisting in hunger pain and she wanted to text Olly asking to come earlier, but she knew he'd be with some random girl, and she knew she'd feel some misplaced jealously in seeing it. _God I fucking hate people. _

Miley sat on the porch quietly, waiting for Jake's red corvette. She felt like she'd grown distant from their structured dates and mostly-school meetings. This would be a chance for them to rekindle and reconnect. _God I feel like an old couple. _She swallowed the thought with a laugh.

Within a few moments of mentally reliving the two's dating memories, Jake had pulled up.

"Hey Miles, get in." She remembered a time when he would get out of the car and open the door, those memories faded faster than his newfound impatience.

"Hey Miley? Get in the car; we're heading to my house." Miley scampered into the passenger seat, Jake cranked up the radio, and car ride was the most silent it'd ever been.

Upon arriving at his house he dismissed her from the car and rushed her in.

"Hey, Jake, it's just movie night for us right?" Miley suddenly felt unsure about his rush.

"Umm yeah Miles, of course, just a movie and some 'us' time." He smiled his cocky smile, and Miley was okay. Everything was back to normal …

The two sat on the couch, Jake's arm around Miley.

"Umm Jake when are we gonna watch the movie?" Miley shifted away slightly, Jake shifted awkwardly closer.

"I was wondering if we could do a little of this before." He kissed her slowly and Miley smiled.

"Mkay." She put her hands on either side of his face and, quickly, he had himself almost on top.

"Mmm." Miley smiled into the kiss. Jake took initiative and got on top of Miley, straddling her, and pushing his hand roughly up her shirt.

"Whoa, Jake, no. No. No. Get off me. This is way too fast." Normally, Jake would apologize and get off; today he didn't.

"Jake, get off me!" Miley screamed at him.

"Ja-" His lips crashed painfully hard on hers.

"Don't you love me Miles?" His cockiness dripped in his voice.

"Jake. We agreed."

He seemed to falter for a moment.

"Just enjoy baby." He shoved her mouth open with his tongue, and roughly rubbed her chest.

"Ow, Jake you're hurting me!" Tears began to pour down her face.

"Jake stop; stop it!" His eyes had lost their glow, now they were dark with hunger. His bulge protruded, and Miley gasped in disgusted shock.

He began faltering with her buttons and desperately pulled off her jeans, jumping back on her quickly to avoid escape.

"No, Jake, No." All she could see was Jake's blinded face, not even looking at her, more through her. She felt her heart beat in shock and his hands grip her with a deathly tightness. She felt fright more than anything. She felt her underwear pool around her ankles.

"Show me you love me." That was all he said before shoving into her.

"Ahhh!" She screamed in pain.

"That's right baby I knew you'd like it." Her nails dug into his skin as she let through blood curdling screams. She clawed at his face and pushed him off.

"STOP IT JAKE!" She cried out in agony. He fought off her attacks by bruising her sides and her shoulders and arms, desperately keeping her at bay. She felt him rock up and back and up and back, before he stopped, collapsing his heavy weight on her.

The tears streamed down her eyes as he stood up and zipped his pants in satisfaction.

"I told you I loved you." He snickered in a way she'd never seen him. She quickly gathered her pants, in other circumstances she would be paralyzed, but she saw red as she looked at him.

She flew at him with fists, unable to commit to the action, being the soft person she was. Her sobs became breathless and she fell against him, nearly forgetting he was the cause of her pain, and he put his arms around her tightly. He was always her support, her hug, her mood lifter.

"You – hurt – me." She whispered at him shakily between sobs.

"It'll be alright sweetheart." He whispered back in his calm, paternal nature. She pulled back, the situation hitting her.

"YOU hurt me!" She pounded her fists into his chest. His temper flared again and he pushed her off.

"I'm calling the cops. You raped me you fuck!" She spit in anger, thanking her body for the rush of adrenaline and courage. He slapped her across the face.

"I didn't rape you. We had sex. We made love. And you were very fucking satisfied. And when anyone asks you at school, that's what you're going to them!" She held a hand to her burning face.

"Look at my fucking face you shit. What's your excuse for that?" He slapped her again and her tears were uncontrollable.

"Don't act tough Miley. You wouldn't tell a soul. Because you know what'll happen when you do. You're Dad barely loves you, are you gonna stop dating the only right choice you ever made? I'm the only reason he hasn't kicked you out. You're too damn in love with me anyway. I deserved to feel that love a long time ago!"

The look on his face was pure anger. He was mad at the threat and the situation. And Miley stood in simple shock, crying, purple faced, and hurt. She knew she couldn't tell. The embarrassment would haunt her. The idea of returning to her father's hatred would haunt her. She looked down in shame, knowing he had won, gotten what he wanted, and couldn't be punished.

"And if anyone asks, you got hit in the face playing baseball with your brother. Now get the hell outta my house."

Miley walked out, her walking was stiff with pain, and her eyes were attached to the floor. The tears puddle behind her. She knew she'd been beaten. She could never leave him, and now she'd pay for it forever.


	3. Rick

Lily walked over to Oliver's house, painstakingly slow. She hated pleasing Oliver, but at the same time she felt like she needed to, just so he would continue to love her; even though his love was slimy and immoral. The weekend played out much like she could've imagined. She spent hours doing 'things' to Oliver and in turn got alcohol to wash away her memories, and a bed and food to keep her alive. It was definitely better than her own house.

She had an ache about her whole body, and it was ridden with unshed tears. She kept thinking of the courteousness of Miley, coming to soothe a stranger. But then she remembered the weakness she felt at being cared for, and quickly her hate for Miley grew. It affected her confidence and her self-esteem. _Why can't we all just be so damn perfect like her? I bet nothing ever happens to that bitch. _She swallowed the jealous distaste down her throat, and tried to sleep the endless nights.

Monday was the worst day of the week.

Lily came in slowly, leaving Oliver, and lumbering to her locker. _I hate school._ She looked around her, trying to distract herself with the time she had pending before first period. Miley and Jake. _Stupid couple._

Miley had a distraught look about her. Her face was twisted with an unsettling difference. She wasn't hyped up and happy. Jake ran up behind her and turned her around forcefully. His basketball buddies stood behind him, eager to see how they would act in school after their little 'session.'

"Hey baby, how's my hot model?" He glared daggers at her. She cleared her throat.

"Umm I'm great Jakey how are you?" He smiled, satisfied with their role play.

"I'm good now that I'm with you Miles. How 'bout a kiss for lover boy?" Without even giving a chance to process his question, he crashed his lips harshly down on Miley, white-knuckling one of her arms to keep her in place.

"Uh thanks Jake, I hafta go to class." She tried to break free of his hard grip.

"See you at lunch bitch." He whispered in her ear, and then smacked her on the ass as she walked away.

_Wow, Ryan's getting some confidence; stupid fag wouldn't even touch her before. _Lily smiled at her observation. _Stewart looks like she's in pain … _Lily wiped the thought from her mind. Everything about Miley's life was too perfect for her to be in pain.

First period came and left along with all the other periods in the morning. Guys constantly came to ask Miley about her night with Jake and what happened to her face, and she constantly lied through her teeth about her satisfaction and her accident. Lily spent the day wishing her classes were over and running into Oliver, who kept asking if she wanted to spend lunch with him.

"No Olly, I'm done with weed for the week." The same respond she'd offer every time upon leaving Oliver in a pang of annoyance.

Miley sat with Jake at lunch, walking on eggshells with everything she did and trying to please the sucker. He kept gripping her way too hard and forcing himself on her. She had more bruises on her arms now and her lips were cut from being pressed onto her teeth.

Lily sat with a table of losers; it was a rare occasion she was even at lunch anyways.

Gym was just running miles, and nothing significant came of it at all.

Soon enough creative writing class had come, Lily bummed, and Miley overjoyed.

"Class I will choose partners based on alphabetical proximity, and you will meet to assess your weekend poems. You will each discuss the meanings and writing techniques you used. Are we clear on the instructions?" The class mumbled 'yes' to Mr. Falcon, and he began reading off names. "… Stewart and… Truscott … Truman and … Ural…" Lily looked over at Miley having heard her name, and Miley looked around for a 'Truscott.'

Lily walked up.

"I'm right here you idiot. I can't believe we have two classes and you don't know who I am." Miley looked up apologetically before identifying the face. She remembered the girl. _Skater bitch._

"Shut up Truscott, look let's just do the assignment. Where's your poem? Did you even do it?" She smirked her 'I'm a cheerleader' smirk. Lily was pissed.

"Oh fuck you Stewart. Here's my paper you bitch." Miley snatched the paper and chose to ignore the comment. Writing class was her only happiness, and Truscott wasn't gonna ruin it. _This is gonna suck. _Miley smiled at her thought and handed her paper over.

Miley looked at Lily's poem and read it carefully.

_Puppet_

_At a crooked window of an unloved house,_

_There sits a paralyzed puppet._

_His face is painted in an infallible smile._

_But in the agony of his slavery, he frowns._

_He looks to his master, sitting on a stained chair,_

_Floating as a dead body in seas of beer and regret._

_Broken dreams and broken bottles manifest at his feet._

_The strings of the wooden limbs entangled in his limp arms._

_The puppet smiles an unpainted and wicked smile._

_He sees control in the bony fingers of a soul-dead character._

_Suddenly his master is weak and his wooden limbs are strong._

_And the crooked window of the unloved house is empty._

Miley read the poem over and over, willing herself to believe she wasn't blown away in a newfound respect for the girl's writing. She wanted to the girl how amazing it was. But she couldn't.

"Umm Truscott, this sucked. Were you high when you wrote this? It makes no sense." Lily's rage bubbled in anger.

"I don't expect you to understand it bitch. You're too damn perfect to know shit."

"I am not perfect!"

"Then you're just stupid. Plus I don't give a fuck if it sucks, school sucks, this class sucks, you suck." Miley's mild temper flared.

"You suck too Truscott!" She shoved the paper into Lily's chest.

"Ooof." Lily stood up.

"Don't you dare touch me!" Lily pushed Miley's shoulders.

"Get off me you stupid skater slut!" Miley pushed back.

"You. Little. Fuck." Lily launched herself on Miley, straddling her, and slapping her unswollen cheek. _Wait how did her other cheek get swollen?_ In her thought, Miley had pushed her backwards, and slapped her back.

"Ladies, office, now!" Mr. Falcon pulled Miley off, arms still flying.

"Miley. Lillian. Stop It Immediately!" Miley dropped her hands in defeat, Lily still determined to attack. Falcon's grip was strong despite his age and he had both their hands pinned, walking them to the office.

Mr. Donzig sat with a disapproving look.

"Ladies, as your principal, I know both of you in a sense. Miley you are a good student. Lillian, you are fair. You both deserve, at least, suspension. However, even though you've blued each other's faces, Mr. Falcon has offered an alternative to school-coded punishment. He believes in creating bonds between people, and has decided to offer a joined writing assignment to teach you both to work together." Lily sighed with a purposeful loudness.

"Just give us suspension Harry." She looked very uninterested in the situation.

"Lillian, some respect please."

"Don't call me th-"

"Sorry Mr. Donzig, me and my … friend … Lillian here will complete the assignment. What are the guidelines?"

"The assignment is to write biographies for each other. Miley, you will write about Lillian-er-Lily's life. And Lily you will write about Miley's life. Do you both understand? These biographies must be well done, truthful, and very complete with information up to the person's current age. It will be due before midterms. Mr. Falcon says that the interviewing and writing must be done outside of school, and every day for the first two weeks you both must meet up in the library during your lunch hour. Any questions?"

"Yeah I have question, why do I have to do this? Why not just suspension?" Lily scowled out of gritted teeth.

"Ms. Truscott, I believe, as well, in stopping violence by finding similarities and building bonds, and you will _both_ complete this assignment in good nature." Lilly gave a final scowl and looked at Miley. Her bruised face was purple. It wasn't Lily's bruise. _I'll hafta ask preppy two shoes how she got that. _

After both agreeing to do the assignment, they were dismissed, walking their separate ways, and daring not to talk.

The day ended in Jake forcing Miley to watch his practice, and giving her a rough and unsatisfactory goodbye. Lily, on the other hand, walked home slowly, unsurprised to see a well drunken mother and her boyfriend.

"Where the hell were you last night Lillian?!" The alcohol in her breath stung Lily's nose.

"At Oliver's." Lily tried to push past but her mother stopped her.

"You mean a boy's house?" She put a heavy hand on Lily's shoulder to stop her.

"Yes, Mom. Don't act like you care about me. Just go drink and fuck that stupid boyfriend of yours." Lily was not in the mood. _Why do I care so much about Miley's opinion of my work? Nah its not that, it's just because it's her fault I hafta do that shitty assignment. _

"Oh fuck you, you little whore." She swung a drunken fist, but Lily ducked it and began walking away.

"Get back here!" She called angrily. Lily just smirked and walked up to her room.

"Hey, Heather, is she home yet?" A man of about thirty walked in. He smelled of alcohol and unshowered flesh. His black hair was oily and his breath stunk of rotted meat and Bourbon.

"Yeah. Look I'm going to work. We're not gonna talk about it." She lumbered out the door, even in her drunkenness.

When Heather had left for a good ten minutes, the man began walking upstairs. He jumbled the handle of Lily's door. Locked.

"Open the door." Lily lay on her bed, a book of poetry in her hands. She recognized the slurred voice.

"No Rick, go bother Heather." He banged on her door harder.

"Open the damn door!" He rustled the knob harder and Lily got up, fear in her steps. She hardly ever feared.

Suddenly the door came crashing down in a hard splitting shriek.

"Rick, get the hell outta my room!" Lily backed up.

"Come on babe I'm like your dad why don't we just talk?" He came closer.

"YOU'RE NOT MY FUCKING DAD!!" Lily yelled back.

"Get out of my room!" She grabbed a baseball bat she kept by her bed and swung it at him. It hit him hard in the shoulder. His eyes went dark. He grabbed the bat from her hands and she began to run. He grabbed the tail of her shirt and she screamed. The bat came down hard on her back and she fell cold on the floor. He hit her another time in the back, hard, instantly bruising it. He was careful to cause pain, but not fractures.

He picked up her shock-paralyzed body, and laid it on the bed. He unbuttoned his pants and tore hers down. She screamed, ear splittingly and fought to get up. He bruised her wrists, keeping them down. The alcohol and the stench of him were slowly becoming nauseating. He stuck into her. She screamed again. This had never happened. She yelled bloody murder. No one else was home. No one else was listening.

He rocked back and forth and back and forth and grunted in disgusted pleasure. Soon, he collapsed. Upon getting up, he slapped her hard in the face.

"See you around baby."

He walked down the stairs, left his money on the counter, and drove off in happiness. Lily made herself decent, and sat in her room. For the first time in years, she just sat and cried.


	4. Sexy, Like a boy right?

Jake had gone off to do a modeling shoot in New York, and Miley was able to spend the week in a bearable peace. It seemed every day lately, she was all but forced to go to the mall, the movies, and the parties Jake partook in. She used to believe he was proud of having her as _his_ girl, but it seemed he only wanted to prove the point that he actually had a girl to drag about. Needless to say, she was in a relaxed joy in her lonesome leisure.

Lily spent the week in an uncomfortable numbness. She was relieved to be able to suppress the uncanny streams of tears, but was unable to find any form of happiness to occupy her mind. She often considered a date with a certain cocky mop head and his sweet, smoky bouquet, but honestly, she was far too sore to pay him the inevitable price of her request. Instead, she lay in a melancholy silence, daring herself to remember her experience from hell.

The lunch tables were crowded with awkward shaped people, guzzling down cokes and tearing gaping holes of emptiness into trays of Cafeteria Food. Lily pulled a disgusted face and sat gingerly at a lonesome end of a table that looked occupied by what could be determined as typical "skate punks." _Oww. Fuck. _She felt the chair beneath her.

She looked at the other occupants. They wore similar clothes and heavy skating shoes. The boys had the standard sweeping bangs; the girls had the thinned and layered hair with sweeping bangs covering a portion of both their eyes. Lily examined the guy who seemed to lead the skate gang. He wore an identical black jacket with the words "Black Jack" in red letters, as did everyone in his group. She suddenly remembered seeing him at the skate park. As they locked eyes, he seemed to have a shining look of recognition, but didn't comment. _Figures the asshole wouldn't remember me. Who the fuck ever does? _ Lily swallowed her temporary anger, suppressing her own memories of being in a skate gang.

Teachers disliked Lily because she was extremely smart but was equally unproductive with said intelligence. Often, she fought disrespectfully when she disagreed with what a teacher said, letting her opinionated emotions get the best of her. But, with other peers, Lily tended to get along because she blended into the background. If anything, she held a rep of being a fighter. Hitting was the only contact she ever made, and often it was rare due to the secret fear of being expelled. Olly was her only real friend, and most of the time he was a sad excuse for one. She never felt the need for friends, companionship made her feel weak.

She continued to fill her eyes, blindly, with the image of the lively lunchroom, trying desperately to relinquish her exhaustion and rising anger. An annoying tapping landed on her shoulder. More accurately, a digging of longish nails, pierced through the fabric of her jacket. She tore the fingers away and turned in anger. Upon seeing the twist of emotions in Lily's face, Miley's own hard look retreated.

There was a mix in Lily's face, of pain, anger, and … sadness? _What's wrong with her? _Miley thought for a moment as Lily's eyes bore into her.

"I said what do you want?!" Lily's voice was hardly reflective of the anger present on her face. Her voice sounded far more exhausted and annoyed than spiteful. Miley was confused. _Don't we hate each other? Shouldn't she be ripping my head off?_

Miley tried her best to keep a tough tone, though her mind was slowly slipping into pondering the true condition of the troubled teen before her.

"Look, Mr. Falcon is punishing us for the first two weeks, remember? We hafta work during lunch in the library." She added an exasperating 'duh' sigh and rolled her eyes, just to finish off her convincingly pissed off tone. _I can't let her think I feel bad for her; that I can tell something is wrong. Why am I even thinking of her? _Miley scolded her thoughts and smiled at the annoyance evident on Lily's face.

"So not in the mood for your bullshit antics Stewart. Why don't you stop being a goody two tits and go sit with that posy of blow-jobbing whores you call your friends?" Lily wasn't in the mood for thinking of a good comeback, and turned around heatedly, ignoring the agape brunette behind her. Miley ducked her lips beside Lily's ears.

"You know what, you're right Truscott, don't come. The Falcon will find out, and you'll get to spend the next semester writing more shit about me and hanging out. Wow, I didn't know you liked me so much sweetie, do I sense a little lesbian inside you?" Miley put on a cynically sweet smile, knowing she'd thoroughly pissed off the agitated blonde, and gave Lily's shoulder's a not-so-gentle squeeze. Lily shrugged Miley's arms off.

"Fuck you." She scowled at Miley with her words, bumped harshly into her, and dumped her untouched lunch in the trashcan. Miley felt an uncontrollable urge to pick on Lily just one more time upon seeing her dispose a full tray of lunch.

"Wow, _Lillian,_ don't get anorexic on us now. Even as scrawny as you already are, you'll never get a boyfriend when you dress more boyish than he does."

She smiled another cynical smile and watched as Lily gave her the finger and stormed off to the library, she was definitely too tired to fight back. _Fuck that stupid bitch. Why the hell won't she just leave me alone? Why the hell won't anyone just leave me the fuck alone?_

Miley stole at glance at Lily's clothes. She wore a pair of torn up black converse with black and white checkered laces. She had on a pair of dark blue skinny jeans and a tight black shirt with some random logo. She topped off her look with a white jacket. Miley smiled, secretly, she really liked Lily's style.

Her eyes involuntarily traveled up Lily's legs. She wasn't as tall as Miley, and her jeans were rolled at the bottom, but her legs were athletically skinny seeming to consist of nothing but bones, muscle, and skin. She had a small but very tight looking ass, and a taut stomach with not an ounce of excess pudge hanging out anywhere. Her arms were small in her tight jacket, no skin hanging, simply bones and muscle. _Damn she is really sexy. _Miley frowned at her deduction. _Like she is scrawny and built like a boy. That's why I think she's hot. Right? _She gave a satisfied smile with her conclusion, and entered the library, seeing Lily already seated and twiddling her fingers in a bored yet stressed manner.

She sat down quickly and tucked her chair, bumping her knee into Lily's inner thigh.

"Oof." Miley went red, thinking of her previous thoughts and what had just happened.

"Watch what you're doing Stewart." Lily looked down. She looked tired and defeated. She hadn't had weed in a day or so, and she acted much calmer, but was far more stressed and exhausted. Miley looked hotly into Lily's dull eyes.

"Wow I can't believe you aren't yelling at me or attacking me for calling you all that shit before." Miley smiled, she _could_ be mean. "What, are you chicken shit now?"

"Look Stewart, you're the one who dragged me here in the first place, and now you won't leave me the fuck alone. You know I could beat the living shit outta you. You're lucky I'm too damn tired to punish your bull." Lily spit out in anger and stood up, turning to leave. Miley suddenly remembered the importance of her grade. She remembered the importance of keeping her good reputation with Mr. Donzig. It was far more important than some stupid revenge on a punk. Come to think of it, she didn't even know why she was making fun of Lily so much. But she couldn't stop. It was like word vomit. She grabbed for Lily's arm as the blonde retreated.

"Wait! Lily, we both need to get this done. I'll, uh, stop bugging you, not that you don't deserve it." Lily pulled her arm away harshly.

"Whatever." Lily, secretly, felt the importance of the grade as well. She sat back down.

"Fine, let's get this over with Stew-"

"Look, Lily, ground rules. I'll call you Lily, you call me Miley. No Stewart and no Truscott. Umm we don't hafta get along, but we also don't wanna do this again, so we'll play it cool. Don't piss me off. I won't piss you off. Look, you can be a bitch, now you know I can too. So let's drop it and just get on with this." Lily huffed.

"That was your idea of being a bitch?" She smirked.

"Stop it Lily. Now, where were you born?"

The interview continued on with little trouble, each of them starting to grow ever so slightly more comfortable with each other.

_Wednesday of the Week_

Lily sat heavily down on the chair. Miley and Lily didn't really talk outside of class and the library. They hardly looked at each other in the halls. An air of pent rage sat beneath their skin. They had different cliques that each other respected. They still pegged each other with dodge balls, and outran each other in gym class. Mr. Falcon made them sit even closer together in his class than before, but when they could choose partners, they never chose each other.

"Alright Miley, what age am I up to?" Lily sat with her spiral and pen in hand as Miley flipped through her own pages.

"Uhh you're six. And me?" Lily flipped through her own list.

"You're seven." Miley and Lily were both in a day of mental repose and the calmness between them could almost be taken for friendship.

"Okay, well where were you when you were seven, Miley?" Lily clicked her pen and focused on the paper, strictly business.

"Wow you make this look like a business report. " Miley droned, mildly annoyed.

"Well what do you expect, Miley? It's a project. Now where were you when you were seven? Isn't that like when you moved here?" Miley sat back, thinking about how to word it.

"Uhh yeah, it is when I moved here. Like I moved from Tennessee, guess Daddy just needed a change ya know? What were you doing when you were six?" Miley hurried off the topic. Lily was never one for emotions, but she had a strange accuracy in detecting people's suppression. _Take's a liar to know a liar. She's not telling me everything. _Unwilling to get in a fight, Lily dropped the topic.

"Umm when I was six I was in Oklahoma." She remembered her own suppressions.

"And…" Miley gave an expecting glare.

Lily decided to go on.

"And, my mom and I moved here because of family problems. Are you satisfied?" Lily's face went red with annoyance, knowing Miley could tell she was hiding things. She hated when people figured things out.

"Yeah, whatever." Miley decided not to push it. _I'll get it outta her eventually._

The rest of the week was spent with the usual avoidance, the usual hiding of facts, and an unusual ease that was never present between the two. Neither felt pressure to impress the other, keep status with the other, or fight the other. It was just calm. Easy. Happy?

_Friday of the Week_

Lily was in a bad mood. The idea of the weekend was settling in. She had no will to go to Oliver's, and even less will to go home after last weekend. She grimaced at the thought of said weekend. She was in the mood for a fight, to take her anger out on someone, to make someone as miserable as her. Miley. She would do.

Miley sat before Lily with a worried expression. _Lily looks pissed._

"So I noticed your little fag of a boyfriend hasn't been here all week. Is he avoiding you, or off butt fucking Trey?" Miley looked at Lily in shock.

"What the hell Lily?!"

"Yeah, he's so damn perfect isn't he? And so damn horny. He undresses you with his eyes every time he sees you. Too bad you're too much of a prude to do anything."

"Lily stop it! What are you talking about?" Miley's memories started flooding back to the dreadful night. Her stomach cringed.

"Yeah, he's a perfect boyfriend isn't he? You guys are gonna get married and have a billion little Miley and Jake-lets, aren't you?" Miley remembered the binding contract that stuck her with Jake for life. She'd have to marry him. She hated it when things hit close to home.

"Shut your fucking face you stupid Coc Whore! Why don't you go fuck that stupid ass drug dealer you go off with everyday?!" The idea of Miley making fun of Oliver struck a nerve in Lily. _Why do I care about him so much?_ Lily thought to herself.

"Yeah then you can go fuck babies outta your perfect little Jakeypoo!" Lily didn't know why marriage, babies, and calling Jake _perfect_ was bothering Miley so much, but as long as it was working, she would do it.

"STOP CALLING HIM PERFECT! HE'S NOT FUCKING PERFECT!"

"Oh your right, preppy fag boy isn't perfect. His hair isn't perfect, and he doesn't treat you with TONS of care. Nope he's not perfect, must be the weed getting to my brain!" Miley felt her word vomit coming up again. She wanted to tell Lily that Jake raped her. Of all her friends, the people she cared about, the only one she felt like she could tell sat before her. She hated her stupid emotions.

"HE DOESN'T TREAT ME WITH CARE! " Lily rolled her eyes.

"Ha you're right he's a regular molester." Lily laughed sarcastically.

Miley squeezed her thighs hard and whispered harshly.

"He raped me." She looked down, her face red from embarrassment. Lily's face went white. Pale. She recalled the pain she felt during and after her own experience with rape. She felt the burning slap on her face, the bruises and scratches from fighting back. She gasped a little in horror, realizing that Jake had most likely taken Miley's virginity. Her anger subsided. She felt an uncanny will to comfort Miley. She laid an arm softly on the girl's shoulder.

Miley threw the hand off her shoulder.

"Oh get off me you stupid bitch. You have NO idea what it's like! Why don't you go fuck some stranger, you stupid whore, and leave me the hell alone!" Lily got up, angry at being called a whore, knowing it was partially true do to her casual sex with Oliver. She, too, hated when things hit close to home. She got up, knocking the chair over behind her, and looking Miley straight in the eyes. She grabbed Miley's arm to get her attention, and pulled her closer. Death daggers pierced Lily's corneas as they focused in on Miley's. She whispered harshly.

"I know EXACTLY what it's like! I've been raped too." With that, she slammed Miley's arm onto the table, and left in a mad anger. Miley was unmoved in shock, watching as Lily left, tears in her eyes. _Why did I tell her that? What the fuck is my problem?! _Lily thought to herself madly.


	5. Carnival

The day was coming to a close. Lily and Miley had been completely apart since the library, not even looking at each other in gym and writing class.

The bell rang for dismissal, and Lily sat on the floor, arms folded, the same as the day she and Miley met. _I can't stay home for the weekend. Olly wants to get laid. I'm too lazy for weed. What the fuck do I need to be okay?_

Miley was in complete distress over Lily as she walked home hurriedly. Lily forgave her the day she took her anger out on her, and she could forgive Lily. _There's so much beneath her. She's hurt far more than rape. I don't need self fucking pity, I need to help her. I hate her so much. But maybe we can help each other? Why do I feel like I care more about her than me? I was raped too dammit._

_Saturday Morning 11 am_

Miley thought of a plan. She could at least give it a try.

She pulled up to a house that resembled a crumpled ball of paper. It was dirty, crooked, with a boarded window or two. _Is this the right house? _ She looked around. The yard was unkempt, the flowers were wilting. She checked the street address. _It's the right house._ She gulped down a large lump in her throat. A billion voices told her Lily hated her, but one little one begged her to give it a chance.

She rang the doorbell. It buzzed a broken sound. No one. She tried again. No one. She began to knock, hoping someone was home.

"Dammit Rick why don't you get your lazy ass up and get the door?!" A high voice rang out.

"Fuck it Heather you're so damn close just do it yourself, or tell Good-Fer-Nothing to get her ass up." The voice had a hillbilly ring and it was much rougher.

Miley pretended not to have heard the conversation as a scrawny blonde woman came up to the door, beer bottle in hand. Behind her stood a typical hillbilly guy, but with big, taut muscles, and greasy, unwashed hair. The woman spoke up.

"Who are you? Whatta you want?" Miley cleared her throat.

"Umm I'm Lily's friend from school ma'am, I kinda need to talk to her."

"Fine. Just go up there and don't touch er steal nothing." The woman let Miley in and walked back with the man into another area of the house. _Right. Well someone has already stolen your deodorant._ She chuckled to herself at the thought.

The railings on the stairs were covered in a visible layer of dust, thick enough to convince Miley that slipping and breaking her neck was far better than contact with it. Although the stairs seemed hardly strong enough to keep the weight of a three year old with an empty diaper, she persisted past chipped walls and stained and torn patches of carpet.

She passed two locked doors before reaching an interesting, door-less room. It had baby blue walls and vacuumed white carpet. Navy blue sheets lined a twin bed, made up and neatly presented. The furniture was pristine, and skate posters lined the walls. Miley laughed to herself a bit upon noticing this and finally took in the smell of vanilla that lined the room; the smell that Miley often detected on Lily. Speaking of Lily …

"What are you doing here Miley?" Lily emerged from a blue bathroom, looking as though she'd just done her hair. She was wearing her usual converse, a pair of navy skinny jeans, much like the ones before, only these ones had holes, and a red plaid button – down shirt rolled mid – forearm. The shirt was cute, and edgy, and so very skater chick. Bands of silver charms littered her wrist and her neck, and the many piercings that ran down her ears.

Lily noticed her prolonged gaze and grew nervous under the attention.

"Miley, what are you doing here?" The voice was slightly impatient but moreover calm and lazy.

"I, umm, well I found your address in the school contact book. And I'm not a stalker, and I know you hate me and you have a right, and I'm not so sweet on you either, but I was hoping we could get along. And I'm sure you want me to go but I really wanted to talk to you. And…" She stopped, looking down, her face bright red from embarrassment, her rant of words losing their momentum and concept.

"Miley?" Miley looked up, her face cooling into its normal shade.

"I'll go."

Miley turned away, but Lily grabbed the crook of her arm, just in time.

"Look Miley I know you didn't just come here to turn red and rant about why you came. Just tell me what's up." Lily's face was calm, she wasn't impatient for an answer, and wasn't mad or accusatory of Miley's arrival. Miley drank in a slight comfort and confidence, again remembering her plan.

"Lily, I just wanted to apologize for blowing up on you and being such a bitch lately. I, uhh, shouldn't have done that. I was gonna call, but I knew you wouldn't talk, and I knew you wouldn't let me come."

Lily felt the need to apologize as well, but it wasn't something she was readily able to do. She decided to hop around it.

"Yeah, I know. It's all good. Are we decent now?" Lily looked with a tiny sparkle of hope in her eyes. _Is that hope in Lily's eyes?_ Miley smiled a little, but suddenly became interested in her surroundings.

"Didn't expect my room to be clean?" Lily smirked a little at the subject of the girl's eyes. _Damn why do I have such a soft spot for this girl? I should be kicking her ass for coming in my house. _ Miley looked up.

"I always thought you were a bit of a slob. Although, I definitely thought your room would be blue er black, and I totally called the skateboard posters!" Lily smiled a bit.

"Yeah well I am a skater punk, as you say." She looked down, remembering the fight they encountered upon their first meeting.

"Your room looks really nice ya know." Miley tried to lighten the darkness that had come over Lily.

"Yeah, compared to the rest of this shithole. I really wish you hadn't seen it Miley." Lily spoke spitefully, her face turning red at the thought of what Miley's opinions must be of her. She looked down. Miley put her hand beneath Lily's chin and brought it up, their eyes connected for a split second before Lily looked away again.

"Hey it's not that bad." _Wow where did that courage to touch her come in? Why do I wanna be her friend so bad?_

"Pssh don't lie Miley. I know this place is a mess. I guess you … uhh … saw my mom?" Miley nodded.

"She looked a little-"

"Drunk. She's just a stupid, drunk bitch." Lily turned her eyes down again, growing in anger.

"Uhh, so now that you've apologized, you're going right?"

Miley looked down. _I could just leave. Lily looks like she'll start fighting any second. NO. I've gotta stick to the plan._

"I was actually wondering if you could come out with me today. Like no interrogating, just hanging out." Lily looked at Miley with confusion.

"Miley, we're barely friends." Miley ducked her head down, in another moment of red embarrassment. How could she have thought that Lily would want to be friends with her? All it was, was business, strict business, why did she think she could build friendship?

"Yeah, you're right. I, uhh, dunno what was goin through my mind. Guess I just thought it'd be easier to make people believe we were friends if we acted a little less cold. Like, I dunno, sorry ta bug you." Miley decided it was safer to veer off the course of her real reason for wanting friendship; after all she was being very forward with a very recent enemy. _Why do I feel like I'm supposta make this work?_ Miley scolded her thoughts; all they ever brought her was inner turmoil.

"Well, yeah, we do need to kinda look like we're friendly. Where were you thinking of going?" Miley smiled, excitement twinkling in her eyes from Lily's agreement. _This friendship has a chance yet!_

"Umm well I got my car. I was hoping to keep it a surprise. But you don't hafta come." Lily's eyes grew dark and her voice got serious.

"Please take me away from here." For a slight moment, Miley thought she could see a vulnerability lying idly in Lily's eyes, fear, sadness, and maybe a will for friendship? Maybe that was being too overly optimistic. _What do I like about this girl so damn much?_ Miley knew she'd never sink to the level of a personal visit, to build a friendship with anyone else. _It's just because I hafta spend the rest of the semester with her. Yup, that's it._

Miley grabbed Lily's shoulder and dragged her down the stairs.

"Okay, you gotta promise not to fight with me this whole day okay?!" Miley put on a cute face. _Why is that face so hard to resist? Why the hell is Miley being nice? Why the hell did I agree to this? What the hell is happening to me?!_

"Yeah yeah don't provoke me Stewart." Lily smiled and offered a soft laugh, trying to hurry Miley out of her humiliating house.

The car ride was silent. Lily couldn't remember the last time she'd had a conversation in the car. Miley looked over to her worriedly. Lily's eyes were focused on the road, and she had her head leant on the window. Miley put her hand on Lily's thigh to get her attention. She moved it promptly, afraid Lily would freak out from the contact.

"Uhh Lil, are you okay? Would you rather me take you back?"

"No!" Lily answered hurriedly, but inwardly scolded her anxiety.

"I mean no Miley. It's fine." She looked over at Miley's face. Miley sat in silence for a few moments longer before realizing she couldn't stand it.

"Whatcha wanna talk about Lil?" Lily's eyes didn't move from the road.

"I dunno. Guess I don't talk much in the car ya know." Miley nodded in agreement and put her focus back on the road as well, driving in silence. Lily stole a glance at her face, trying to break the silence.

"You look like you wanna ask me a question." Lily stated curiously, instantly regretting it, knowing she was bound to get a 'let's go deeper question.'

"Lil you're the biggest mystery that's ever walked on two legs. I have a billion questions. But I know you'll get mad when I ask." She had turned to look at Lily, but Lily's eyes were stuck forward. She felt a bit of courage, feeling like she couldn't handle the silence anymore than Miley.

"It's fine. Pick your best two." Miley pondered a bit. _What two things do I really wanna know? Why are you a punk? Why are you so sickeningly cute? Why do I feel like I hafta hang with you? What the hell am I saying?_

"Okay Lil. What drugs do you take and why do you take them? And … uh … like … whorapedyou?" The last question was difficult; the word _rape_ was an offensive flavor in her mouth.

"Can't just ask me my favorite color huh? Look I don't wanna talk about this." Lily never took her eyes from the road when she said this, but stole a glance after. Miley's face had a bit of an 'I told you you'd get mad' look, but moreover, an 'I really wish you'd trust me' look presided. Lily sighed. _Well if I just tell her, I still have plenty of stuff to blackmail her with if she does it to me. Somehow I feel like I can trust her; like she wants to help er something. I don't need help. _

"Rick did it. And I've only done weed. It kinda relaxes me and fills a little emptiness." Lily spoke slowly and her eyes took a sudden interest in the car's carpet and her cheeks took a sudden liking to the color red.

Miley put her hand on Lily's thigh again and rubbed it lightly.

"Just try to have some fun with me Lily Bear." Miley pulled her hand away. _Lily bear? Why the hell did I just call her that? _Miley sucked her thoughts down. _Dude why did she just call me Lily Bear? It was kinda … cute. Wait, since when do I use __**that**__ adjective? Way too rainbows and ponies for me. What is she doing? What is happening to me? Why am I so relaxed? Maybe I should just have fun today. Just let my guard down a little? What's Miley gonna do anyway?_

The ride went on for another silent ten minutes; although, this time, the silence was comfortable. Suddenly, Miley got very excited. She sat up straight in her seat and her eyes lit up. She looked over at Lily.

"Lil close your eyes!"

Lily gave a 'you're kidding me' look.

"No Lil c'mon I really wanna surprise you! Close your eyes. Pleaseeee?" She gave the irresistible puppy look. Lily shook her head and smiled slightly.

"Fine." She closed her eyes.

The car rattled to a stop.

"We're here, but keep em closed Lil." Miley got out of the car and moved to open to door for Lily, and grabbed her arm to help her out. "Watch your head."

After they had walked a few steps Miley instructed Lily to open her eyes.

**Shlitterghanigan's Traveling Carnival.**

The words filled Lily's eyes with excitement. They were the brightest blue she'd ever seen them.

"Miley it's a carnival! Miles look a carnival! Miley it's a carnival!" She began bouncing around in excitement.

"Ha it is Lil. God I've never seem you so excited! You're so cute!" Lily registered her unusual show of excitement. She hung her head in embarrassment. Why couldn't she control her happiness? Miley put her hand gently under Lily's chin and moved it up slowly, connecting eyes.

"No more tomato faces with me Lil. It's okay to be excited." With that, she took Lily's hand and dragged her to the entrance.

Lily dug in her back pocket for her wallet. Miley put her hand on Lily's to stop her, realizing that her hand was technically on Lily's butt. She dragged it slowly back across the fabric, retreating it, smirking to Lily who rose an eyebrow playfully.

"Hey I'm the one who kidnapped you, silly. I'm paying!" She paid quickly and grabbed Lily's arm, dragging her into the carnival.

Lily's eyes regained their shine as she drunk in every sight. Her eyes breezed past the roller coasters, the games, the haunted houses, everything.

"Whatcha wanna do first?" Miley squeezed the girl's arm.

"I, uhh, I've never been to a carnival before. I dunno." Miley looked at her in shock.

"You've never been to a carnival?! A theme park?! A water park?! Disney World?!" Lily smiled at Miley's overreaction and shook her head "no" to all of them.

"Girl you have not lived! I'm gonna make your life today!" Lily smiled at the girl's generosity, her cheeks involuntarily turning pink at the vulnerability she felt. _What kinda feeling is this? I just wanna be happy and have fun? Why is Miley doing this to me? How?!_

Miley spent the entire evening dragging an excited Lily everywhere she could. She was adorable in her happiness and seemed to be having the time of her life. But the day had grown old and Miley wanted to take Lily on one last ride.

"C'mere Lil we're riding the Ferris Wheel." Lily looked at the slow moving circle.

"Ughh Miles it looks soooooo boring and slowww!!" Lily whined playfully and put on a convincing pout.

"Oh get over it silly, I wanna show you something." Miley dragged a complaining Lily behind her. _Something about that girl just puts these stupid butterflies in my stomach! _ Miley smiled at her observation.

Lily sat near the edge and Miley sat close beside her. The ride was slow, but as it reached the highest point, it stopped. Miley leaned over Lily, placing her hand on Lily's thigh for balance. The sun was injecting an explosion of colors in the sky, and the beach was in an orange glow.

"Isn't it pretty Lil?" Lily felt the pressure of Miley's hand sliding down the inside of her thigh. She gasped in slowly.

"I-It's beautiful Miley."

The ride started back again and they both returned to a content silence.

Miley linked arms with Lily at first when they had hopped off the ride, but soon let go and they both walked to the car, weaving together the first stitches of a joyful set of memories.

Miley looked to Lily once they got in the car.

"Did you have fun Lil?!" Lily's face was exhausted and calm, an undying smile sat curled in her lips, and for once she spoke to Miley while meeting her gaze.

"I had a lotta fun! Thanks so much Miles!" Lily suddenly felt embarrassed. She couldn't remember the last time she'd thanked anyone for anything.

Miley smiled in response and after a few minutes each of their faces had fallen into a calm repose. Lily was trying so hard to figure out when it was that Miley had gotten under her skin and invaded and torn her beginning walls of rejection. She couldn't seem to figure out how she had grown so emotionally close. Why was Miley trying so hard to be nice to her? And why was hanging out with her former enemy, one of the greatest moments she'd had in a long time? Why couldn't she resist the will to let herself loose and untangle her misery when she was with her? This was just one of those signature _what the fuck_ mysteries.

Miley, on the other hand, was letting her conversations with Lily run over in her head. She was letting the details marinate and connect … sudden remembrances began to piece together and click. _Rick raped Lily. Rick is at the house Lily's about to go home to. He's done it before, he would do it again. I can't let that happen. I can't let Lily go home, knowing she's in danger. _Miley looked over to Lily, who looked two seconds away from falling asleep.

She shook Lily's arm gently, bringing the girl into focus.

"Huh?" A slightly startled Lily looked over; her discomfort for physical contact was gradually disappearing.

"Uhh, Lil. I was wondering if maybe you wanted to stay over at my house for the weekend. Like we don't hafta hang out anymore if you don't want to, it'd just be like me offering you a bed and food ya know?" Lily felt her cheeks heat up. She felt like a charity case. She suddenly remembered Rick. Her mom was working late and Rick could try his little stunt again. She wondered why he'd never done it before. But now that he knew he could, if Lily was there he would try it. She felt a sickness in her stomach. _I can't let her think that I'm some helpless little loser that needs __**her**__ help. _

"Ha Miles thanks. But that's a little too moocher-y for me." _Of course. I shoulda known Lily would feel bad about saying yes. I've gotta __**make**__ her do it. I can't knowingly leave her there._

"Ya, well Lil my parents aren't home and I hate staying home alone. And, frankly, _you_ owe me. So you better get your pretty blue eyes used to this face, cuz you're gonna see it all weekend. By the way, I've kidnapped an innocent little girl already today; don't think I won't do it again!" Miley smiled her cocky smirk. Lily had nothing to say and, involuntarily, beamed in relief.

Miley stopped at Lily's house.

"Go get some clothes and stuff. And make sure they don't see you." Lily rolled her eyes playfully at Miley's concern. When she returned with the clothes, the rest of the ride was left in a comfortable silence.

Upon arriving at Miley's house for the first time, Lily was awestruck.

"Miley you live in a freaking mansion!" she hopped out of the car excitedly, only this time her face wasn't red, and Miley smiled upon seeing that.

They bounded to the house to escape the growing chill. Once in, Miley hurried them into her room, which consisted of very bright pink walls and sheets and a faint smell of strawberries. Lily rolled her eyes.

"Typical. I had a feeling you were the pink type, princess." Miley swatted Lily on the arm playfully.

"Hey I'm starving Lil. So I'm gonna jammie up and go downstairs to make dinner. Come down when you're ready, K? And stop criticizing my pinkness in your mind. I'm the pink and cheery type miss black and blue skate punk." They both laughed and Miley pointed Lily to the bathroom.

Lily changed and gazed in the mirror. She ran water over her face. _Why is Miley getting so close to me? Why am I letting her? What the hell is wrong with me?!_ She looked in the mirror a few minutes longer before shutting off the water and walking downstairs.

The house was so clean it was almost strange. Everything was in perfect order. Picture frames of family and friends and vacations littered the walls and there was a faint smell of cinnamon in the air. The house made Lily feel weird, remembering the sad sty her own house was. This one was so much more … family like.

Upon going down the steps, the cinnamon scent relinquished into a heated smell of really good food. Lily's tummy growled hungrily.

"Wow Miles watcha cookin' there?" Lily emerged from the stairwell in blue short shorts and a long sleeve shirt. Miley was in a white tank with pink booty shorts that said _princess_ on the butt. _So cliché. _Lily thought.

"Making spaghetti, you okay with that?" Lily looked at the plate and smiled.

"Wow I didn't know you could cook Miley; that looks reallllly good." Miley smiled.

"Contrary to popular belief, I can do more than just bother little skater punks. Now sit down and try not to go too orgasmic over my pasta, you look like you've never seen it before in your life." Miley chuckled and Lily turned red at the choice of words. _Why does Miley make me so nervous?_

Lily sat down like she was told and Miley sat beside her putting a bowl in front of her.

"Okay –now- eat- it- with- a- fork- like- _this." _Miley spoke slowly, instructing the shoveling of food in her mouth.

"I've had spaghetti before Miley, I'm not a caveman!" Miley smiled obnoxiously.

"But you _are_ a blonde. I just wanted to make sure I made it clear to you so you didn't make a fool of yourself." Lily faked a shocked looked.

"Oh, you mean so I didn't do _this_ by accident?" Lily stuck her finger in the red sauce and wiped it down Miley's cheek.

"Ohhh noo you didn't!" Miley stuffed a fistful of sauce back into Lily's face.

"HEY!" The little food fight went on for a few more minutes until both the girls rose their white flags and finished the remainder of their dinner.

"Lemme do the dishes Miles. Please." Lily had gotten up to do the dishes, and Miley had stopped her, but Lily was persistent with her request.

"Fine." Miley acted annoyed as she began to clean the counter from their little food fiasco. After the cleaning was done, they both stood in the kitchen wondering what to do next.

Miley got an idea. She wanted to make Lily a little uncomfortable.

"Lily. You owe me one more thing before we head to bed."

Lily looked over at Miley's smug face and jerked an eyebrow in the air.

"Hug me." Lily looked displeased with the request.

"Uhh how bout not Miles. Anything else I can do fer you?" Miley shook her head vigorously, she knew she'd receive some resistance.

"I thought I made it pretty clear that you owed me, and I want a hug." Miley tried to acted serious despite the adorable scrunching of disgust on Lily's face.

"Am I ugly, do I smell, are you afraid I'll bite you?"

Lily shook her head vigorously. "Nah Miles it's not that. It's just I don't do 'hugs.'"

"Aww do you not know how to hug?" Miley was being sarcastic but Lily turned a little pink and shifted her gaze.

"Wait, have you ever hugged someone before?" Miley had a sudden disbelieving curiosity.

"Not really Miley, I'm not a touchy feely person." Miley stood agape.

"Well I made you uncomfortable once today, I can do it again. Ha your pretty damn daring, so be a daredevil and hug your enemy." Miley walked over to Lily and wrapped her arms around her. She felt the smaller girl tense in her grasp.

"Relax. Put your arms around me." Miley grabbed Lily's arms and tucked them around her soundly. After a slightly-longer-than-normal hug time, Miley let Lily go.

"Not that hard babe, we'll work on it." Miley tapped Lily's nose gently and began walking upstairs, indicating the other girl to follow.

_Why do I wanna hug her again? Why does she make me so DAMN NERVOUS?! _Lily shook her troubled head.

After brushing their teeth and readying themselves for bed, Lily sat on the carpet Indian Style and Miley sat on her bed.

"You wanna come sleep up here?" Miley patted the bed beside her, people always share beds during sleepovers.

Lily silently contemplated.

"Umm you haven't been on a sleepover before have you?"

"No, not really." Lily felt ashamed, she'd never been in a situation when she wasn't in control, didn't know what to do. She knew bjs, hand jobs, and plenty of other tricks, why did Miley make everything so hard for her?

"Well usually two people sleep in the same bed." Miley felt her face turn red at saying this.

"Can I just stay down here?"

"On the floor Lil? No."

"Alright, then I'll just go to the guest room?" Lily began to get up, but Miley grabbed her hand.

"No, just stay here. Please? You take the bed, I'll take the ground." Miley had this strange urge to keep Lily close, protect her.

"Nah Miles it's your room, your house, your bed."

"Then stay, please? You sleep on one side and I'll stay farrrr over on the other okay?" Lily looked uncertainly, but moved over to the far left accordingly.

"Thanks Lil." Miley dove under the covers and turned out the light.

"I'm sorry I make you uncomfortable Lil. Just bare with me okay?" Lily didn't know what Miley was planning to do, but the bed was definitely more comfortable than the floor, plus this one was sooo much better than hers at home.

It's fine. Uhh thanks fer letting me stay here." Lily was facing the other direction, but Miley was staring at the back of her form in the darkness.

"No problem."

Lily tried to contain the question that was forming on her lips, but it burst out anyway.

"Miley, why aren't you upset about being raped? Why aren't you thinking about it and like worried and mad?"

Miley was silent for a bit.

"I'm sorry I asked Miles I dunno what came over me." Lily instantly felt bad and uncomfortable.

"Nah it's fine Lil. Truth is, hanging out with you kinda took my mind off it, I didn't think about it at all today. So thanks fer helping me out."

Lily was silent, a smile on her lips.

She heard Miley's breath slow down. "Night Lil." She breathed out.

"Night Miley."

Both their eyes fluttered shut.


	6. Pancakes

Miley woke up a little earlier than Lily. They had drifted considerably close during the night, and Miley awoke but a hair's length from the girl. It was oddly satisfying to see the blonde only a finger's length away, but Miley knew the discomfort of contact was still very present in her.

She stood up slowly, careful not to wake the girl. She stared, involuntarily, for a little longer than maybe she should have. Lily looked so peaceful in sleep. She was curled into a cute little ball, her knees tucked into her chest loosely. Her tank top had ridden up a generous amount, revealing a section of very touchable looking skin. Miley bit her lip. _If only I could just get a little closer, just tou- Oh. My. God. What the hell am I saying? _Miley balled her fists, angry that she could look at Lily like that.

But, unfortunately, her will was a little more faltering than she might have wished. She came closer to the girl and her hands slid down to her waist. Ferociously, her fingers tickled Lily's sides. The girl jerked up in a fit of confusion and laughter.

"WHa- Miley!" Lily looked disoriented and adorable with her hair sticking up in every direction.

"I love your new hairstyle Lil." Miley joked at the girl. Lily felt her hair, began to straighten it out, and blush a little.

"Aww no tomatoes! I told you that was a rule!" Miley smiled genuinely at the girl.

"I'm gonna go shower and stuff and then go down and make breakfast. You can use the guest shower and when you're done come down and get some food. And Lily, don't you dare do the dishes today, and keep your food on your plate and NOT on my face." They both laughed at the fun of their memories, and Miley tapped Lily's nose affectionately before they both began readying themselves for the day.

Lily finished her shower, did her hair, changed, and brushed her teeth, before making her way down the stairs. Once again, the homely fragrances began to blend into the flavors of fresh food. _Damn how does this girl cook so well?! _Lily walked into the room and observed what Miley was wearing.

She wore a pink tank top and a pair of light blue jeans. _Always the bright colored one._ Her curls sprayed gently over her shoulders and down her back, as she hovered over the stove. Lily looked at her closely, not yet making her presence known. How could she wear something so simple and look so … beautiful? _Wait. Beautiful? Did I just think that Miley was beautiful? I mean she is. But no she isn't. Well kinda. Well no! Dammit Miley go take some fugly pills and leave my eyes alone!_

Lily walked in slowly, and Miley shifted her eyes straight into hers. She studied Lily's straightened hair, falling down her chest. She wore a tight, black, three-quarter sleeve shirt, with a white wife beater over it, _THREE DAYS GRACE, _across the front. And she was tied together in a pair of navy skinny jeans. _They must be her signature jeans. Aww and she looks like such a tomboy. Man she'd make a cute boyfriend. _She stared at every crinkle in the fabric of Lily's pants as she watched them conform to the curves that were her hips and legs. Miley caught herself staring and quickly looked back into Lily's eyes, feeling a dark guilt for the feelings traveling around her. Particularly, down.

"Hey Lil! How'd ya sleep? Feel more awake?" Miley prayed Lily hadn't caught her staring.

"Ugh, thanks to my _rude_ awakening!" Lily referred to the morning tickle, and was awarded a giant smile; unbeknown to her, it was her smile of relief that the blonde was oblivious to where the brunette's eyes previously were.

"Aww c'mere and lemme fix it." Miley cooed back playfully. Lily backed up a little as Miley approached.

"Stewart!" Lily held her arms out, signaling for Miley to stop coming closer. She didn't.

"Oh save the tough act Truscott, you're just a big punkish teddy bear!" Lily willed an anger to bubble in her. She shouldn't take that. She shouldn't have her toughness be demoted. But she did. And willingly.

"Oh save it Princess Hormones, and don't you dare hug me!" Miley smirked, but advanced quicker, nearly tackling the smaller girl in the process. She hugged her arms tightly around the blonde, but slid them down to her waist. Lily stood rigidly in Miley's arms.

"Hug me back Lily." Miley ordered with a kind of pout.

"Fine." Lily faked an angry face and wrapped her arms back around Miley.

"Aww Lilyyyyyy." Miley cooed again and brought them closer. Lily blushed profusely when she felt their belt buckles _click_ against each other as the brunette drove their bodies to touch. _Whaa- why do I like this? Why can't I let go? Why do I fit against her so perfect? Why are my hormones so outta whack? Dammit Miley, why do you do this?_

Miley smirked at the discomfort in Lily's quicker breathing. It was shallower. Her pulse was faster. She rested her cheek softly on the slightly shorter girl's shoulder. _Jesus Miley. Are "Friend" hugs supposta last ten years? _

Miley pulled back and witnessed a very flustered Lily. Her smirk only widened at the discomfort and nervousness in Lily's eyes.

"Aww Lil do I make you nervous?" Miley knew the answer, and knew Lily was way too cocky to admit it.

"Pshh your belt buckle left a bruise in my hip. And aren't you cooking Chef Stewart?" Miley looked over to the oven with a slight panic, but remembered she'd turned it off.

"Ha ha Lil. Way to give me a stroke. Go sit down while I get your breakfast." Miley frowned sarcastically and pushed Lily towards the table.

Lily sat down and Miley ordered her to close her eyes again.

"Ugh this better be good Miley." Lily whined sarcastically. Miley smiled and put a plate before her.

"Open 'em Lils." Lily looked down and before her sat a pile of brown circles with a whip cream smiley face and chocolate chips embedded in the smile. Lily flew off her seat, and forgetting her prior discomfort with the hugs, she wrapped her arms around Miley, who was now sitting on the stool beside her.

"PANCAKES! Miley you made pancakes!" She pulled back to see an equally flustered Miley before her.

"Well, well don't be too excited! You act like you've never seen 'em before."

"Dude I love pancakes Miles I just haven't had them since I had enough money ta go ta IHOP! What kind are they??"

Miley smiled at Lily.

"Ya know you look like the 'adorable little kid that never grows up' kind. Ya know, the little kid that's always stealing sweets from the candy store! So I made you chocolate chip pancakes!" Miley was almost as excited as Lily, drinking in the exhilaration on the other's girl's face. Lily smiled and looked over to Miley's plate.

"Hey! You put three pancakes on _my _plate and only one on _yours! _ Are you calling me fat?!" Lily looked up, happy that there were three, but deciding to mess with Miley.

"Nah Lil, but you are NOT gonna be anorexic on _me._" She patted Lily's stomach and Lily's cheeks turned pink at the contact. "Plus you're still growing short-ass!" She drew an imaginary line from Lily's forehead, and ended it at her chest, where it reached, showing her how much shorter she was.

Lily looked at her evilly!

"I should kill you for that!" Lily gave a threatening glare dripped in sarcasm. Miley suddenly became serious.

"Would you ever hurt me Lil?" Miley's face was pure seriousness, and Lily wanted it to lighten back up.

"If I hurt you, who would feed me pancakes and pasghetti?" Lily out on an adorable face as she said 'spaghetti' like a little kid. Miley cracked up.

"You're too cute Lil. Who knew? I love you like this, you're so much fun. Now eat your pancakes!" Lily blushed, but hid it by delving into her pancakes.

_That girl is adorable. How come she doesn't have a boyfriend? Why doesn't she act like this with other people? If I was a boy… MILEY! Shut the hell up!_

Breakfast was soon over with, and the duo helped each other clean the kitchen.

The day dragged on with the pair lazily interacting about the house. That is, until Robbie Ray called to say he was an hour from home. Miley had to drive Lily back; thank goodness Rick was out this week.


	7. Engaged

It seemed, over the course of the oncoming week, that their twinkles of beginning friendship had quickly morphed back into their love-hate comfort. How could they've expected it not too? Lily had no friends, besides Oliver, and spent most of her time alone. Miley, however, seemed to be constantly surrounded in a ring of following losers. Often, Lily would consider going to Oliver for some companionship, but she really had lost the desire after her weekend with Miley.

Why did she care so much about their friendship? Why did she crave the closeness that Miley once gave her? What was her problem, what was this girl doing to her? _But seriously, why does not being with her for a couple days, feel like losing her for years? _She knew this was blown out of proportion, but for some reason she desperately _liked_ this girl.

Miley was very neutral with her. She had made like someone looking for friendship, but it seemed she only treated Lily with a kind of 'courteous detachment.' She shot the ball at Lily in dodge ball, as they both carried out their expected rivalries, and as they served their punishment in the library, they were plain faced, having less emotion than when they were fighting.

Lily couldn't take it. It was Friday and she hadn't hung or even talked to Miley since last weekend. She hated her vulnerability, the hold this girl had. But she justified it as _getting what she wants. _After all, that's all this friendship was for her … right? She, Lily Truscott, didn't NEED anyone… right?

"Hey, uhh, do you hate me Miley?"

Miley looked at her confusedly.

"Why would I hate you?"

"I don't know, you're avoiding me like the damn plague."

Miley smiled. Lily didn't see what was funny.

"We aren't friends Lily. Remember?"

Lily clued in.

"Oh, right. Just making sure I didn't fuck anything up. You were kinda… like … nice ta me." A blush creeping into her cheeks as she recalled her previous wildness with the girl.

Miley tapped Lily's nose.

"Well Lily, let's fix that." She looked around, to make sure no one else in the library was looking, then she got down on one knee and smirked as she grabbed Lily's hand.

"Lillian Truscott, will you be my _secret_ best friend?" She gazed into Lily's eyes, sensing the instant discomfort that fell over the blonde. She let go and stood up. Pink in her face.

"Uhh it was just a joke Lil." Lily faked a look of disgust, before bursting out laughing and picking up Miley' hand and gazing back into her eyes, mirroring her previous look.

"Aww, I'd love to be your undercover best friend." Miley engulfed Lily in a hug, an adorable smile pulling at their lips.

"Good."

The rest of the time was quiet. They sat in a contemplative silence.

_Why does she get to me so much? Why did I just agree to be her best friend? Since when do I believe in being a best friend? In having a best friend? _Lily sat, inwardly groaning.

_Where did that courage come from? Geez, did I just propose? What the fuck Miley? What the flying fuck is your problem?_

They left the school, just as detached as before. Lily kinda wanted to say 'good bye' for the long weekend, but Miley was taking this 'secret' friendship seriously.

Lily sat on her bed at home. She had tried to walk home as slowly as possible and was delighted to find a peaceful emptiness in her house as she arrived.

The minutes seemed to blend into hours. It was five pm now, and she felt like no amount of waiting could make her stop missing Miley. Isn't that sad? The girl, who went seventeen years without giving a shit about people, suddenly _missed_ someone. _I make myself sick._

Suddenly, as if on cue with her memories, her phone began vibrating.

**-Hey you! Listen, "friend", since we're now engaged to be bff's, you have to start helping me out! I have a … project … I need help with. I'm picking you up in ten. And ur spending the night, well… the whole weekend. So bring clothes babe.**

Lily reread the message a gazillion times, letting the choice of words slowly sink in. Something about the terms _friend _and _engaged _and the sincerity and emphasis in her staying the _whole_ weekend, was really stirring flutters in her stomach. Was that normal? But as she reread the message a final time she let the contents marinate, and realizing their concept, she made for her bathroom to "freshen up."

After she'd perfected every straight wisp of hair, applied and smoothed every drop of faint lip gloss and eye liner, and after she'd tugged at the wrinkles and creases in her shirt and jeans, she heard a familiar car horn … and found that she was still unsatisfied. _Since when do I care what people think? Why do I feel like I have to be perfect? It's just because I wanna feel equal with her … yeah … that's it._

She hurried outside in the anticipation blasting out of the second honk.

"Gosh you preps have no patience!" Lily smirked at the shocked brunette as she opened the door and settled herself into the passenger seat. The car almost felt like normality to sit in. She felt at home in the presence of Miley. Was that weird?

"Well maybe if you punks would stop worrying about your pouty little hairdos, certain preps wouldn't be honking their horns dead!" Miley retaliated good naturedly. Lily frowned angrily, trying to keep up a charade. But failing miserably. They shared a laugh.

"So what's the 'project' you need help with, fiancé?" Lily smiled at her intelligent pun, being awarded a smirk from Miley.

"Well I can't tell you. It's sorta a surprise. But not a good chocolate chip pancake surprise. More like a … 'please save me before I kill myself' surprise,' you know." Lily had the upper hand.

"Hmmm … maybe that could be arranged. And what do I get in return?" Miley stopped at the convenient red light, quickly pecked Lily on the cheek and whispered seductively in her ear.

"I'll make it worth your while babe." Lily's cheeks were now evidently pink, and the brunette quickly took charge of it.

"Aww do I make you nervous Lily Bear?" She cooed and Lily turned redder.

"Hey now, keep your concentration on the road!" The blonde turned away and Miley smirked, mentally noting the fidget she put Lily in. _Aww she's so cuuuute. Wait. Miley. Please don't make me hit you._

They pulled into the cheery driveway. It was littered with positioned flowers sipping in the radiance of a dying sun. The house's warm yellow color blared out brightly in the soft indigo blanket shrouding the coast. Miley's house was beautiful. Lily felt as though heaven stood before her. Despite her previous encounters with this house, it never had felt so homely. But maybe it was Miley. Maybe it was the fresh idea of friendship, dazzling like a new toy to a juvenile eye. Yes. Miley gave the glow to the house, the shine to Lily's eyes. Man, was this skater _ever_ gonna be able to hate her again?

She abandoned her admiration as she felt the car stop and the door open and a soft hand enclose her own.

"Shall we enter Miss Truscott?" Miley bowed her head and deftly pulled Lily from the vehicle. _That's funny. I don't even remember Miley getting out. _

"Well what a gentleman you are Mister Stewart." Lily smirked and proceeded to walk off. It took her a few moments to notice that Miley wasn't following.

"Miles?" She turned to look for the ditzy chivalric.

"I just remembered." Miley seemed to be pulling a forgotten thought as a light seemed to click on above her head. "I haven't given you your hug yet!"

Lily shook her head sarcastically.

"Oh you know you love me!" _Unfortunately Miley, I do._

Miley full-forcedly leapt at Lily, tackling her in a bone crushing hug.

"Can't … breath! …" Lily muttered out between gasping attempts.

"Aww sorry Lil, just too buff for you I guess. It's all my cheer muscle!" She had an obnoxious smile plastered on her face. Lily rolled her eyes jokingly.

"Cheer is NOT a sport."

"Take that BACK!"

"It's true!"

"You're gonna suffer."

"You gonna send your squad after me? Attack me with some pom poms?"

"Oh no you didn't!"

"Oh I did." Lily began doing some God awful cheer attempts, knowing Miley was getting upset.

"Oh yeah?!"

Miley lunged at Lily, tackling her into the grass. She sat, unashamedly and unthinkably, on the blonde's waist, wriggling her fingers along the shorter girl's sides.

"Hey! Stop!" Lily cried for mercy under the girl, not fully registering their positioning.

"Take. It. Back." The brunette smirked cockily and delved her fingers harsher into the girl's sides.

"Fine. Fine. Cheer is a good sport. Cheerleaders are awesome. Now stop!"

"Say please!"

"NO!"

"Say. It."

"Ugh. Fine. Please stop Mileykins … I love you _sooo_ much!" Lily put on her best sugar coated accent ever.

"Aww, I just made you use pleasantry! I'm so proud of myself. You know you're lucky I like you enough to give you mercy. Even after that incredibly _sincere_ declaration of your love." Miley picked on Lily lovingly, but only too soon, as she stopped tickling, did they both register their arrangement.

"Umm Miley."

"Yeah, right. Uhh."

The two girls shared a moment of connected vision, before a much appreciated, yet exceedingly annoying presence broke it. A clearing of the throat had Miley quickly hovering above Lily, and reaching out a hand for assistance. After the two had brushed off and faced the well-dressed couple before them, the man began to speak.

"Listen Miley, we have to get to a reservation that's in an hour's time, and we have to depart immediately. We expect that Jonathan will be on his absolute best behavior, and we need him to be fed and readily exhausted when we return to pick him up at around twelve o'clock. I trust you'll have our expectations far exceeded as always. I don't suppose _she_ will be with you?" The man cast a sly eye down at Lily.

"Mr. and Mrs. Robinson, this is Lily Truscott. She's staying at my house this weekend. She will be on her best behavior as well, and she is fully responsible and capable of assisting me. She's completely expense-less. I'm assuming she's allowed to be present when I care for Johnny?" The couple's eyes made a full assessment of the girl.

"We trust your judgment of character Miley." With that, they took off in the white car that neither girl had fully been conscious of.

"Wow what crawled up their ass and died?" Lily looked at Miley and the taller girl burst out in laughter.

"They're just strict and proper."

"Ha, I've never heard you talk so 'stick up my ass' before, Miles. You're good at it." Miley scowled at the girl.

"Get inside Blondie." She pulled at the girl's sleeve, dragging her in, to find the gelled and combed head of a nine year old watching Spongebob.

Lily squealed unexpectedly.

"Spongebob! Oh my gosh I love that show!" Miley's grin was ear to ear.

"Who knew you were such a chick sweetheart!" Lily's grin faded and a new one was born on Miley's face.

"Aww I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. You look so cute when you're excited." Miley tapped Lily's nose affectionately before going over to the boy.

Johnny had been alerted of their presence with the squeal, and had already, uninterestedly, glanced back at the stranger.  
Miley walked up to him.

"Who's your friend Miley?" He hadn't even unfocused from the TV.

"That's Lily, come meet her Johnny."She helped the boy up and ruffled his hair.

"Lil this is Johnny, Johnny, this is Lil." She brought them close.

"Sup Lily?"

"Nuthin much Johnny."

Their conversation was brief as a loud crash came from the TV, and the two morons were once again captivated my Spongebob. Miley rolled her eyes and led both of them to the couch before lumbering into the kitchen mentioning something inaudibly about preparing dinner.

Moments later, after bustling about and pressing buttons, Miley made her way over to the living room. They hadn't moved but to breathe. She smiled at the kidnapped attention of the two animated faces. She had to stare at Lily. She was breath taking. She was so adorable and happy looking. And it was all for a stupid block of talking cheese.

The brunette eyed the space between Lily and the arm of the couch. Not really much area considering the distance the blonde was sitting from the relative stranger, Johnny. Miley decided she was just going to squeeze in anyways. She sat lightly in between the arm and Lily's thigh, fitting perfectly in a tight attempt.

"Hey stranger." She whispered to Lily. Lily turned, noticing the feeling of Miley pressed so closely to her. It was sending a sensation of chills and heat through her. Was that even possible? She scooted over a bit to let the darker girl become comfortable, and relieve the tension between their positioning.

"Heya Miles. Wher'd you go again?" Miley rolled her eyes and poked Lily's taut stomach.

"I went to go make your never- ending- vortex- of- hunger some food." Lily giggled, it was true, she was _always_ hungry. She had a high metabolism due to sports, and she needed food like most creatures need air.

"Well the vortex thanks you. What'd you make?"

"Pizza!"

"Are you serious?!"

Miley nodded.

"I love you!"

Miley smiled and snaked her hand behind Lily's back to hug her.

"So what is it about this talking dairy product that you love so much?"

Lily looked at her incredulously.

"You're kidding me right?! HE'S A SPONGE! SPONGEbob. Geez, and I'M the blonde one." They shared another laugh before the dinger went off on the oven.

"Well forgive my incompetence to cartoons … SOME of us are seventeen." She left before Lily could retaliate.

The food was consumed in silence as another marathon of the talking Swiss progressed. Lily barely pried herself away from the screen to generously assist Miley in cleaning and boosting her esteem with compliments of her culinary expertise.

Their banter was surfaced, nothing really to comment or recall on. They included Johnny in some conversation, but the attention of an ADD seventeen year old and a normal nine year old were soon spent. Miley decided to put another phase of her plan in order. _As soon as I can get Lily to relax and make contact with me, I'll have broken yet another wall she's built._

"Hey guys, how about a movie marathon? Johnny go look for some in my movie chest." Miley ordered about the little boy, and readily he complied. Meanwhile, she sat with Lily on the couch.

"So are you a little less po'd about me making you kid sit with me?"

"I forgive you Stewart." They shared a smile. They seemed to share a lot of similar emotions these days. And those were only the ones they detected on the surface …

Johnny soon had all the movies picked out. He sat down, laying in leisure on the couch, leaving little room for the duo. Miley smiled.

She grabbed Lily's arm as the blonde wandered about for a seat.

"Come here." She settled Lily between her legs.

"Uhh Miles it's cool I'll sit on the ground." Lily began to rise. Miley sunk her nails into Lily's arms.

"Lil, friends cuddle. I know it's a foreign concept to you. I'll teach you today."

Lily bit her lip in uncertainty.

"Please? Give it a chance Lil." Lily heard the pleading in Miley's voice.

"As long as you release the death grip we're cool." Lily relaxed back to a slightly less rigid form.

"That's my girl." Miley pulled Lily's shoulder's back, resting them on her chest, and resting Lily's head beneath hers.

"You comfy?"

Lily nodded.

"Am I hurting you Miles?"

Miley shook her head.

The movie started.

_All Lily needs is love. She doesn't need a good fuck from Oliver. She doesn't need sympathy. She just needs to be loved. Affectionately. Like some hugs and cuddling. That is what she REALLY needs. And I'll help her. And she'll help me. _Satisfied with her conclusions, Miley subconsciously hugged Lily closer.

In the duration of the movies Miley had discovered several things.

1) When she ran her fingers along Lily's sides she jumped, causing her back to push into you-know-where. That was a bittersweet feeling.

2) Lily loved it when she played with the tips of her hair. And…

3) When Lily relaxed, she fell warmly into her body, and her hair smelled like vanilla and strawberries and she was like a little child falling against her mother's heart.

Miley almost felt tears as she caressed the body in her arms.


	8. I'll Never Leave You

The weekend had faired like the preceding one. Miley had no idea what trigged her "forwardness" with Lily, but the blonde had taken the uncanny role of subsiding to anything the brunette put her through. She had spent the weekend at her house and it had been full of longing glances, hidden feelings, subdued contact, good food, and affectionate discomfort.

Miley found herself constantly wishing she had known this girl years ago, before she was hurt and broken, when she could have helped her through everything, repaired her. However, Lily kept at the nagging thought that Miley was abused by Jake and still she talked fondly of him; it seemed as though she had completely overlooked what he'd done to her. _Something isn't right about the way she blew that event off. _Lily thought. But then again, she was good at holding grudges, and Miley was good at forgiving and forgetting.

The oncoming week was much like the week before. They almost completely ignored each other, and, now, they weren't even together during lunch. They would often mumble a greeting upon passing each other in the halls, and sometimes a smile would pass by their lips. But, overall, their friendship was an unexpected and well-kept secret.

Jake was back. And he was as slummy as ever. Something about him had changed though. His eyes were a tiny bit brighter, livelier, and with all the recent popularity his modeling gig had brought him, he was wiping girls off himself like gum off a shoe.

One thing that came as a genuine shock to Lily was the way he looked at Miley. It almost looked as though he was cured. The darkness that seemed to hang over his face had passed like a shadow under differed light. But what seemed to eat at Lily's heart the most, was seeing the way Miley lovingly ran her fingers through his hair. The way she sat on his lap and fed him fries before covering his cheeks in kisses. It was as though she was the only one putting effort into the relationship.

The blonde felt her jaw tense as she gazed at the scene. She was feeling an unusual amount of sympathy and care and it was bugging her a lot. Immediately, her eyes searched for Oliver. Although, seeing him guiding Joannie out to his car made her only the madder and she dumped her untouched tray and left the cafeteria.

The week went on and the routine was similar. Miley left everyday with Jake, and Lily spent her afternoons at her house and her nights looking for somewhere safe. Rick was back.

She spent her free time trying to figure Miley out. Why did she feel the need to protect her? Why did she feel the urge to rip Jake's balls off? Why did she even care? What had Miley done to her?!

On the contrary, Miley spent her time thinking about Jake. She knew she had to suck down the past and move on. Jake was her future. The father to her kids. The groom to her wedding. He was the ideal husband and dad and he was her something. It was all planned and she had to follow.

She gave into his touches, far more gentle then they'd been. She gave into his eyes, far warmer than their previous cold. And she gave into his words, polished and laced in the perfect sentences of clichéd love. But all the while she was trying desperately to find in him the guy she loved and needed. The shoulder she always cried on, the ears that always listened, and the heart that always opened its doors. _That _was Jake. The Jake that hid under designer clothes, that hid under boyish claims, and the Jake that no one knew but everyone would love. That was _her_ Jake, and she was doing her best to rekindle her love for him.

_Friday of the Week_

Lily sat aimlessly at her desk. It was a half day. It was something she needed. Her finger twiddled at the ends of her hair and her eyes struggled to stay focused on the board. She felt this unusual pain of seeing Jake and Miley. It haunted her every second.

She kept thinking that Miley would drop her since she'd gotten Jake back. She hated the way Miley just gave in. She hated the way she _needed _the brunette's company. She felt this pang of… jealously? NO! Jealously wasn't an emotion that Lily Truscott felt. Not even for a moment did she care about Miley's soft pink lips on Jake's ungrateful cheek. The way she looked at him with her deep emerald eyes, the way her face contorted into a pleasant and adorable smi- WHAT THE HELL?!

Lily mentally slapped herself as she felt a vibration settling in her pocket. Miley.

-**Hey you, busy after school? **

The blonde looked the message over; half shocked to see it wasn't from someone like Olly. She wanted to glare at Miley and reply "how dare she talk to her." But somehow, she felt an overwhelming ache in her chest. She glanced at Miley. The brunette was staring at her phone expectantly, biting her lip in waiting.

-**Nope. But ur with Jakeypoo aren't you? :\**

**-Nah he's out with the "boys" catching up. I was wonderin if u wudn't mind playin babysitter with me again??**

** -Whatcha got in mind??**

**-We're seein a movy and hangin round the mall, then ur spendin the night this wkend. I can't hang with u in the day on Saturday er Sunday but u can spend the night? :)**

**-Alrite :)**

With that the conversation was ceased and they shared a fond and long awaited smile before focusing back on Mr. Falcon.

When both the girls had managed to get into the deserted parking lot, Miley beckoned Lily into her car.

"So can we go over to your house and pick up your clothes?"

Lily looked at her nervously, unsure of another visit to her house.

"Uhh sure, thanks Miles. But you wanna stay in the car?"

"Lil you know I don't judge, can I come in?"

She wasn't sure but gave into Miley's big eyes.

"Yeah okay but please don't talk to my parents." Miley felt a feeling of accomplishment, that allowance into Lily's house signaled one step further in trust.

The rest of the ride was silent. The neighborhood's deteriorated into an ugly snaggle of jagged houses. As the flowers died and the grass browned, Lily's house came into view and her face came into red.

"Don't you worry Lil." Miley put her hand gently on Lily's shoulder. The girl nodded and slowly got out of the car as Miley cut the engine.

Lily fidgeted with her keys and the door and gave it a sturdy push, blasting dust and dirt about the frame. Miley suppressed a cough. The house smelled of fried foods and was more unkempt than it was on her original visit. There was a poor couch laying exhaustedly in the living room, seemingly to be the only general focus besides the tiny TV. On the couch laid a scrawny woman, empty bottle in hand, scrambled in an awkwardly uncomfortable-looking position. The house was a repulsive sight. But Miley would look past that for Lily, the girl whose eyes were focused so intently on the ground that they could easily pierce a hole where they were looking.

Miley took in the sight. Lily couldn't bear to have her stare at her house any longer. She grabbed the girl's hand and pulled her up the stairs, only letting go after they had entered her bedroom. The comforting smell of vanilla filled Miley's nose. The cool blue walls and vacuumed carpets and dusted furniture all gave the brunette a kinder feeling. Lily directed her to sit on the well made bed as she rummaged through her tiny closet.

"God Miles I hate when you hafta come in here." The look in Lily's eyes almost made Miley cry.

"Lil don't you ever worry about that. I don't care what your house looks like. I care about you!" Lily's face lit up a tiny bit as she set the chosen garments on her bed.

"Hey Miles I gotta go downstairs. My mom's got work in a few hours and she outta be a little more sober-ish. Just hang up here for a few minutes?"

Miley nodded and watched as Lily descended down the rickety stairs. She imagined how hard it must be for her. With herself, all she had to do was take care of her own needs. With Lily, she had to take care of herself _and_ her parents, and fear the house she lived in. The way her face would turn into pure embarrassment upon entering, tugged at the strings of Miley's heart.

Miley began to feel restless and wandered about Lily's room. She felt as though she shouldn't look into the girl's possessions but she desperately wanted to know her.

She picked at the little trinkets on the dresser. Lily had a great many trophies from earlier years; some of them were even for academic purposes. _Lily's smart? _There was a drawer of discarded beanie babies, turns out Lily is quite a teddy-lover. But the most shocking to her, was a little black book that sat nestled behind a cabinet, obviously meant to be hidden, sitting side-by-side a sharp knife. Miley gasped in harshly as she saw the knife. She knew what it was for. She felt a bit of shame as she eyed the book, but some blindly-led temerity made her hand reach out to it. She opened it and looked inside.

The book was kept in perfect condition. It was completely written in polished cursive, a strong black ink that demanded to be read.

Miley opened to the first passage. It was a poem

_Mother_

_Mother you held me to your chest,_

_To where your heart beat once like mine,_

_And through my hair your hands caressed,_

_Because your heart was once so kind._

_When once you spoke the soothing tunes,_

_That played like notes to untrained ears,_

_Twas then I knew your love was true,_

_But how it's gone through older years._

_And now my form is sinful sight,_

_It burns you red from eye to eye,_

_You drink through days and drink through nights,_

_I've lost your love in hateful guise._

_Tell me what it is I've done,_

_Tell me how I've fouled you sore,_

_I care for you and still I'm shunned,_

_Why don't you love me anymore? _

Miley's heart wrenched. But not before she noticed a shadow peering over the paper. She turned around and her face went white.

"So I see you decided to look around?" Lily's face was a mixture of anger, tiredness, and embarrassment. She would've seen the knife _and_ the book. _That_ book held every vulnerability she'd ever expressed. _How much has Miley read? _Miley dropped the book and began to string words into a sentence.

"Uhh Lil I'm so sorry I…uh…I kinda came across this thing and this book…your writing is…" she trailed off, unable to think of anything else to say. She was honestly shocked. Lily snatched the book up and set it gingerly on the dresser.

"Are you sure it didn't sound like it was written by a high druggy?" Lily tried to divert attention from the knife. Lily used reference to Miley's original ideas of her work. Miley looked down ashamedly.

Lily sighed. She didn't want to piss Miley off and have to spend the weekend sleeping at _this _house.

"Look is that all you read?" Miley nodded speechlessly.

Honestly, she'd hardly heard anything Lily said. She was marinating on the words of the poem. The way the sadness seemed to seep through the pages, begging her own sadness to pour from her eyes. She immediately reached out for Lily's arm and jerked up her sleeve. Deep scars lay roughly on her pale wrist and arms. _That's why she's always wearing long sleeves ._She looked into Lily's eyes. Suddenly they looked different.

They didn't have the natural glow that she falsely wore for public. They were uncovered and truthful. The blue was deeper than it had ever been. The fear of abandonment sat in her eyes. The sadness of her past rested in the stringy fluorescence. The pain of caring for everyone around her, burdening her life by wishing her mom took part in it. There was a famine for love in her eyes, a need for compassion, but a hard case that pushed it all away. Miley couldn't help it. She stood up to Lily's level and threw her arms around the shorter girl's neck.

Lily fought the embrace, the will to cry. She'd never felt so terribly willing to just…cry. She'd never wanted to break down like she did now. But all she could feel was a kind of hate for Miley. A hate that she knew her secret, knew she couldn't handle the pain, knew that sometimes she felt defeated. She was rigid and cold and she shook a little, fighting sobs. She grabbed Miley around the waist, trying to push her away.

Miley was unmoving. Tears streamed down her eyes as her arms were tightly wrapped around Lily. She kissed Lily on the neck repeatedly, softly.

"Lily I love you so much. I'm always here for you. Don't you _ever_ think I'll leave you. I love you Lil, please, don't hurt yourself like this." She pulled away after a long hug; after Lily had complacently melted in her arms. She stroked the scars as gently as she could, fearful of inflicting pain. Lily looked away, ashamed.

Miley pulled the sleeve back over the girl's arm.

"Lily, tell me you'll stop this. Please. When you feel like you hafta, call me, talk to me. Please." Lily looked down. Miley pulled her into another, briefer, hug.

"You still up for coming to babysit, er have I pissed you off enough for today? I'm sorry Lil for messing around with your stuff."

Something in Lily's mind told her to leave the girl. But something countered that opinion, telling her she had to go. Her heart wanted her to open up and be comforted by Miley. But her mind told her she was just falling into friendship with another person that would leave her.

She knew that if she let the event get to her she would be proving to Miley she was weak. She'd prove that she almost just cried and needed a shoulder. She couldn't do that. _I don't need anyone._

She fought the urge to be mad at Miley and decided to blow this whole thing off as a joke. She wanted to annihilate the sentimentality and sadness she almost caved into. She would just brush it off her shoulders like she always did.

"Well if you're not too freaked out about me, babysitting is cool." Lily chuckled a bit and Miley joined in to lighten the mood. But she could see the faltering in the girl's eyes. _ I know I hurt her by seeing that. I know she feels exposed. I know she needs me. But if now's not the time, I'm not making a big D. _With that in mind, Lily bagged her toiletries and clothes in silence, and the two made their way to the car once more.

The entire ride was silence. Lily was intently focused on making up excuses for if – but most likely _when – Miley _would bring this up. Miley, though, was focused on trying to understand who could ever want to abandon a precious little thing like Lily. She was sweet and fun and a great person. But you had to dig deeper. She had no idea why Lily had opened up to her, but she was determined to make her feel like she was NOT alone. No matter how her past had betrayed her.

The duo stopped at an unfamiliar house. It was the Robinson's. Johnny stood eagerly at the door, it seemed as though his only fun came from his time with Miley.

"Geez Miles this kid could be your little brother with how much time you spend with him." Lily found her courage to speak.

"Ha I know Lil, but his parents are stuck up, rich, and boring and more interested in each other than him. I kinda like to see him smile once in a while. Plus I've been sittin' him for like five years. He's like family."

Lily smiled. It was funny how long those two had been friends. Lily wasn't good at keeping friendships. Somehow, it always seemed that she lost friends. She always seemed to push them away the minute they got too close, the minute they figured her out too well.

Miley scampered up and ruffled the boy's hair.

"Hiya Johnny Appleseed!" The Robinson's chuckled at the relationship between the two, but looked disdainfully down at Lily.

"Well Miley have fun with Johnny. If this _friend_ of yours will be accompanying you again, she should know she will not be paid."

"I gotcha Mr. Robinson don't you worry. She's a good friend of Johnny right?"

She looked at Johnny and winked and he nodded, remembering the excitement they both shared at watching Spongebob.

"So you'll be at the mall? Do be careful and keep an eye on our boy. You know we trust you." Mrs. Robinson looked sincerely and Miley smiled.

"Don't cha worry Mrs. Robinson. You two have fun at your function, we'll watch something PG and we'll be home before nine." The couple nodded, satisfied, and the trio drove to the mall while the duo drove to their function.

The car ride consisted of Johnny running his mouth like he'd never spoken before in his life. It was a speech composed of fourth grade level words and meaningless babble. Miley kept sideways glancing at Lily, to find the girl absentmindedly staring out the window. She tried to focus on piecing together Lily, but often had to "mhmm" and "wow that's cool" at Johnny to sound like she was paying even the slightest bit of attention. But she wasn't.

When they arrived at the mall, they immediately walked into a movie. It was NOT a PG movie. In fact, it was _The Haunting in Connecticut. _Miley sat in the middle of Lily and Johnny.

Lily had wanted to see this movie for a long time, but she couldn't keep focused for even a few seconds. Her mind constantly wandered to Miley's words_. Lily I love you so much. I'm always here for you. Don't you ever think I'll leave you. _For some reason those words floated constantly around her brain. She couldn't let go of the false comfort they gave her. She'd only ever heard those words once before. She cringed to think of it.

_**Flash Back**_

___Lily was on the floor of her old house. It was a nice house that smelled like cut flowers and homemade food. She was driving her toys around the carpet along her impromptu tracks, murmuring the verses of the make believe characters._

_ "You're always playing with those trucks Lil." He looked at her longingly. "Gosh you're growing up so fast. What are you now? Five? When you get old you still gonna be Daddy's little princess?" His strong arms lifted the little girl onto his lap._

_ "I'll always be your little princess Daddy, if you'll be my big King!" She giggled as her dad sped his fingers into her sides, tickling her._

_ "Aww princess you know I'll never leave you." She smiled._

Every time that scene played in her head she'd grimace, and the flood of broken promises that were her life would sink into her memory.

Miley was just another broken promise. Who was she trying to fool by giving into the affection Miley provided? Why did she think Miley would be the constant in her life? She was just like her Daddy. She'd promise love and forever, and then she'd rip Lily's heart out. No, she couldn't let herself be pulled into Miley.

Miley grabbed Lily's arm in fright as she screamed with the rest of the cinema-goers. Lily tensed, shrugging Miley off. After all, when their little "biography" paper was done, they would go their separate ways just as they had started.

The feeling of her heart being ripped was too much. Lily tore her arm away and stood up, practically running out of the theatre.


	9. Miley Chainsaw Massacre

Miley looked at the vacant seat beside her. She had a feeling Lily had taken off for more than a "pee break." She had reacted negatively to the contact. Miley felt an imaginary step backwards on the trust scale and she hung her head in thought.

_Maybe the movie scared her? No, Lily's fearless. Maybe she REALLY had to pee? No, too coincidental. Maybe I grabbed her arm too hard? Nah I barely grabbed her. Maybe she's still pissed about this morning? Yeah, that's gotta be it. _

She had a feeling Lily was the "I like to cry alone" type, maybe she should leave her alone. _After all I'M the problem aren't I?_ But something inside of her kept reminding her that "leaving Lily alone" was all anyone ever did to her. That's when she was being abandoned, made to suffer in lonesome silence. Miley looked over to Johnny.

"Hey Sweetheart I've gotta pee. Hang out for a sec, don't get kidnapped okay?"

"Miles you're leaving me during a scary movie?"

"Aww you're a brave guy, and don't worry I'll be back in a sec. Can you stay here?"

Johnny nodded and Miley ruffled his hair.

As Miley walked out the theatre she considered texting Lily. But that would show she was too impersonal to care, she blinked her eyes in the flood of lights and looked around for the little blonde.

Lily was nowhere in sight. She couldn't have left the mall could she? Miley made a dash for the bathroom, looking at the shoes in the stalls. _Man I feel like a creep. _She sighed as she reflected on her fruitless endeavor, thinking of where her friend could be.

Miley began wandering around the vicinity of the theatre, praying that Lily was close. Her eyes scanned the scenes rapidly and finally stopped on a blonde head of hair that sat between two jeaned knees. _Just like when we met._ Miley shed a relieved smile, and darted over to the girl.

She knelt down, feeling a great wash of déjà vu, and put her hand lightly on the girl's back. She began to rub the girl's back soothingly slow, attracting a swarm of curious eyes.

She could hear a kind of deep breathing, almost a teary wheezing emitting from the form. Was

Lily crying? She couldn't tell.

"Lily, Sweetie, are you okay?" The girl was silent.

"You don't have to tell me everything, just help me understand. Please?"

Lily looked up and shrugged the hand off her back. Her eyes were full of unshed tears, begging to fall but being forced to stay put.

"Look Miley, I can't do this. I can't be your _friend._ Okay? I just rather you leave me alone." Miley felt a tug at her heart. One thing that stopped her from pouring tears was the uncertainty that was ever bright in Lily's eyes. The brunette found an empowering revelation. She had no idea how she figured it out. But she knew it had to be true. Lily was _afraid_ of Miley leaving her.

"Lily, I know what this is about. What I said before. It was true. I _won't_ leave you." Lily looked angrily at the girl.

"You don't understand me at all. Don't pretend like you do Miley. This isn't about that."

"What's it about then Lily?"

"I just don't wanna be friends with you."

"What did I do? You can't just stop being friends with me? What the hell Lily?"

"I can and I just did. Look _we_ aren't meant to be friends. We're from different fucking planets."

Miley grabbed Lily's arm tightly, so tightly that she could see a bit of pain wincing on the girl's face. She spoke with a poison-stuck and dead seriousness.

"Lemme put this in words _you_ can understand. I know you use people. I know you don't believe in friendship. I can see it all in your eyes. But _I'm _your friend for now. I let you stay at my house. I take you places. I'm trying so hard. So if you're gonna live in the moment and pretend like this will all fade away, can't you just let me in? What do you have to lose?"

Miley was shocked at her sternness and the perfect deliver of her speech. She couldn't believe she had just ordered Lily to take advantage of her. Lily was equally shocked. Miley had figured her out, pried her way in, and she was absolutely…_right. _Everything she said was dead accurate. Plus, Lily could just use her like she'd always planned. But it was so much different when Miley _knew_ she was being used. It was like cheating but _knowing_ your partner knows that you're doing it. It was embarrassing and demeaning, yet it made her feel more vulnerable than she'd ever felt before.

"My _eyes_ are telling you that?" Lily tried to focus on a less severe point of the discussion. Miley rolled her eyes. _Of course that's all Lily hears. _

"Yes, _your_ eyes are one helluva thing Lily." Lily knew she pissed Miley off by taking the sentimentality out of the discussion.

"What are they saying now?" Miley, always the conflict resolver, decided to use the question to her advantage.

"They're saying that they love your friend Miley and they want to finish watching _Haunting in Connecticut _with her…are they telling the truth?" Lily smirked and they both giggled. It was immensely difficult to hate Miley for long periods of time.

"Damn those blue tattletales." Lily stood up and offered a hand to Miley. Before she could move, Miley flung her arms around Lily's neck, pulling her in as tightly as she can.

"I won't leave you silly. And do you think you still wanna hang out? I oughtta get back to Johnny before he gets stolen though. Coming?" Lily nodded into Miley's hair.

"Good, now if you want me to let go, you hafta hug back." Miley giggled her cute giggle, contagiously forcing Lily to do the same. The blonde wrapped her arms around the taller girl's waist, and they were soon finishing the movie in the theatre.

Lily sat watching the screen blindly. Her mind was consumed with Miley's sincerity. The way she practically begged her not to leave, not to stop being friends with her. What did Miley care anyway? She had everything. Lily was just like an accessory to Miley, like a meaningless keychain hanging off some designer purse. What did she want with her anyway? Why was just using Miley so difficult?

Miley couldn't focus on the movie what so ever. She kept thinking of Lily. Her mind was consumed with relentlessly present words of her speech. She just _begged _Lily. After all, what was she really getting out of this? Lily. That was all she was getting. She was getting to spend time with Lily. Getting to _know_ that Lily was safe. And getting to keep her mind off of Jake. But that was it right? But then again, besides the material things, what was Lily getting?

Was Miley giving her the comfort she needed? Was Miley providing her with a safe environment to be herself? Why was she trying so hard to "cure" Lily? She was acting like a doctor. Suddenly an idea popped in her mind.

Lily could be like a project. Like an experiment. She would see if giving someone starved of love and attention, the vitalities of emotional stability could really change them. Miley felt a kind of guilt at this thought, but after all Lily was just using her as well.

The movie was over and they had headed over to a fast food stall in the mall. The entire time, the two walked on egg shells. It was like they were each being threatened by the same thoughts. They each felt a kind of tentativeness that swallowed their friendship. They interacted with detached courtesy, much like at school, and evaded any important conversation.

However, after wandering the shops and numerous entertaining facilities, the three had to take Johnny home.

Lily stayed quiet as Johnny rambled about his day on the ride. Really, nothing had caught her attention since the incident during the movie. She felt embarrassment every time the recent memory replayed itself. It was a moment of weakness. Something she would have rather experienced alone. Her inner turmoil was something personal, something she didn't want Miley invading upon. Yet, it seemed like Miley was trying to cure her of some terminal illness. Like she was trying to get inside, poking and prodding, and constantly applying the stitches to mend the wounding problem. That was Miley's downfall, she couldn't just leave things be.

Lily preferred to think that she had everything figured out on a level that people around her just couldn't comprehend. She saw heartbreak, she saw failed relationships, she saw perpetual depression, and she saw backstabbing. And she knew she couldn't handle any of it. She hated it. So she wouldn't associate with it. Therefore, it seemed only too logical to keep people out. It was like she had a pliable, multi-layered wall about her. She blocked certain people at the entrance, others she let into what she considered to be the "unsure grounds."

This was the "layer" where Lily kept all her false identities. This is where she pretended to be what she wasn't to appease whatever kind of emotion she was trying to gain from the person she was interacting with. This was her comfortable "air of mystery." Most of her acquaintances sat on this level and none of them could ever tell the full story of Lily Truscott. None of them knew the realness that was Lily. The profound thoughts that she could have, the deep reality that she knew, the way she protected herself by spinning tales. Yes, she had a web of lies detailed to a T, issued differently to anyone she met. She had a certain charade she played for strangers, enemies, acquaintances, friends, family, teachers, etc. None of her stories were consistent. She was just Lily, the indescribable labyrinth of unusual tendencies. And she liked it that way. It reminded her NOT to trust ANYONE. The kindest ones were the most evil.

However, it seemed as though Miley had taken a chainsaw to her wall and busted herself right into the core. And now she was trying to peel away every last bit of her. She would peel and peel until Lily was nothing but a naked truth, lying amongst the rags of her lies. But why had no one else taken a chainsaw? Because no one else cared to bust at Lily, and that's what she feared the most…people who _cared._

"Lil!" _Speaking of the devil. _"Lil say bye to Johnny."

Lily noticed Miley's awkward shaking of her leg as she tried to get attention. She waved at the boy and his parents and looked back at the brunette briefly. _When did we get to his house?_ Lily discarded her thoughts and her eyes returned to the comfortable scene out the window.

She could tell Miley was looking at her, but chose to ignore it. Just thinking about Miley riled her up. Thinking about how Miley made her feel fear pissed her off immensely. Just thinking that in three weeks she'd let this bouncy little cheerleader eat her way under her skin really made her mad. How could she let her guard down like that?

Being pissed at herself was something Lily hated the most. It was something incurable. When she was mad at someone else, she could take it out on them. When she was mad at herself, however, only pot and a knife could help her. That's what she really needed tonight. She considered ditching Miley to go over to Oliver's. Maybe that's what was her breaking her down, the fact that she'd been off weed for three freaking weeks. Yup, clearly they were withdrawal issues. She'd fix that soon.

But her thoughts were suddenly broken into, by, none other than, Texas Chainsaw Massacre herself. _Ha, what a fitting nickname._

"Hey Lil you think we can talk?" Miley misjudged Lily's silence for a signal that their feud was over.

"Uhh, now, Miley?"

"Yeah, Johnny's gone and I kind of wanted to talk about something." Lily had an unhopeful prayer that this discussion wouldn't result in talking about her "feelings."

"Okay." Lily's eyes never left the road.

"Well Lily I know you have abandonment issues. I know that your mom doesn't pay much attention to you. I know you don't have a consistent father figure. I just want to know what happened in your life to make you so unsure of people staying around." It all kind of piled out of Miley's mouth. She dared a glance in Lily's direction and saw her face contort into a sickened grimace. _Maybe now wasn't the time to play psychiatrist…_

"Jesus Miley is that all you talk about? You know you're always talking about us being friends. Don't friends have other topics besides prying into each other's lives?"

Miley grew defensive upon her negatively reacted attempt to help Lily express her trouble. Aren't people with problems who want to be happy supposed to make an effort to do so? Lily wanted to be happy…didn't she?

"You know what Lily? Friends who have been through what we've been through, who have relatable sufferings, work to console and help each other. NOT build walls and shells around themselves. Do you know how hard it was for me to see all the pain in your writing and in your eyes, and not be able to talk to you? And I can't talk to you because I have nothing to say, because you won't open up about anything. All those times we sat there in silence in the library, because you won't just help me help you."

Lily sighed. The compassion in Miley's voice was impossible. Her voice even cracked in the last sentence, and she identified that noise as crying. Miley was now _crying_ over Lily, because _she_ was hurt that_ Lily_ was upset. That was care. Raw care. The single most hated thing in Lily's life. The thing she needed but constantly pushed away. And now the human form of it was beginning to cry. Lily did NOT know how to deal with tears.

As always, Lily resorted to the one thing she _did_ know how to deal with. And that was anger.

"I don't need your stupid pity help. You know, you say we have 'relatable sufferings' but did your mom ever beat you senseless for burning her toast when you were nine? Did your mom's boyfriend ever knock you unconscious just cuz you were an easy target? No? Well then maybe we're not as similar as you thought. You have a boyfriend you suck up to. You have a dad that doesn't beat you. What the hell else do you want? Don't act like you're in this boat with me."

Miley's face flushed red. She couldn't understand. They were doing fine this morning. What the hell happened? When had Lily gotten like this? Didn't they trust each other? Miley's thoughts were cut off by her tears. Her rage just didn't seem to wanna cut in. It was strictly sadness filling every crevice of her body. She didn't understand. She decided not to elevate the situation. Her voice was calm, but in a chilling and bone rattling way.

"You're right. I don't _hav_e a mom to hurt me. My dad doesn't even pay attention to me long enough to care about beating me. And my boyfriend's a good guy that did something wrong. Everyone does bad things. I guess I just want to be there for you. I just want to give you _one_ person that you can trust and that will have your back. But you don't have to accept that help. Although, it's always there if you want it."

With that, Miley cut the engine and stepped out of the car. They were finally at the Stewart Mansion. She didn't wait for Lily, but didn't give any condescending expulsion from her house. _She's actually gonna let me stay the night after what I just said to her. _Lily was beginning to feel relatively guilty for her choice of words and topics. But the worst part was Miley hadn't retaliated. Retaliation, heighted irritability, pissed off antics, they all gave the satisfaction of fighting. Retaliation justified fighting, bullying, but Miley hadn't given Lily justice to her action. And now her last remaining threads of morality tugged at her throat, choking her in her guilt.

Lily grabbed her overnight bag from the trunk and picked her cell phone from her pocket. _I shouldn't feel guilty for pushing her away. It's for her own damn good. _She punched numbers into her phone. A gruff voice came through the line.

"What?"

"Hey Olly, it's me."

"Oh, hey Lil. Haven't seen you around." Lily smiled to herself. It was lame, but she felt a kind of pathetic happiness from knowing that Oliver recognized her voice. But, then again, here she was trying to derive fake care from a stupid druggy, when someone was pouring their eyes out with _real_ care for her inside. She _should_ go apologize. But she couldn't. Just the thought of Miley was pissing her off. She realized she'd been silent for too long.

"Lil what did you call me for?" _Oops._

"Uhh are you busy tonight?"

"What? Do you want some weed? Or are you looking to crash? I don't do charity Lil." She sighed angrily. Why did every one think she needed their help?

"I was looking for a hit."

"Alright, well come over."

"Uhh can-you-pick-me-up?" She felt embarrassed to be _asking_ for his help.

"Where are you?"

"I'll wait by the diner on 5th Street."

"Be there in ten."

"Thanks."

The line went dead. But she didn't put away her phone. She felt like she at least owed Miley the courtesy of telling her she wouldn't be there. Plus, she kind of _liked_ the idea of pissing Miley off. At least it wasn't sadness.

**-I'm out.**

Lily felt her phone vibrate seconds later, and the words pulled at her heart.

**-There's a key under the doormat. Come back when ur done.**

Miley sat in her living room. Tears were streaming down her face. She had the truth shoved in her face, cruelly, and _still_ she wanted to help Lily. She _needed_ to help Lily. She didn't understand why or how. But Lily needed someone and Miley couldn't give up. That's what everyone did. She wouldn't be like everyone.


	10. The Old Olly

Miley sat back against her bed. She looked over to the side Lily always slept on. There was a tentative aching in her chest. She shouldn't feel like that should she? But she was just worried about Lily's wellbeing right?

Why? The question haunted her. Why wasn't she pulling the key from under the mat and telling Lily to stay the hell away from her? Why wasn't she? Because she couldn't. She couldn't. And she hated that she was so weak. That _Lily_ made her so weak.

But something in her needed to protect the little blonde. At first, she thought they were developing a loving relationship. Now, she knew this was nothing but a protection program. She felt crushed. She was only a wall protecting Lily.

She thought about the times they'd hugged. It was unreal. There _had_ to be affection in there. The way Lily looked at her. It _had_ to have meaning. Maybe this was just Lily's defensive wall. YES! That was it! Lily was just pushing her away temporarily. Soon, though, she'd open up. Miley just had to have patience. That's what NO ONE had with Lily. That's what she needed: patience and understanding.

Miley smiled at her diagnosis. She was so smart! She couldn't deny this unreal attraction she had to Lily. How she _had_ to be close to her. But she was going to repair her. After all…Lily _needed_ her.

Lily sat in Oliver's car, fingering the straps of frayed leather from his seats.

"So Olly, how ya been?" Oliver gave her a weird look. It made her feel stupid.

"So we're having a conversation? Why?" Lily remembered Oliver never talked unless he was high. He hated conversations. She just felt this strange want to talk, have a conversation. Wait why was that? Oh yeah, because of Miley. God she never shut up! _And now I'm making an arse of myself too. I hate her._

"Sorry."

"Uhh … have you been okay lately? I mean you haven't seen me at lunch for a like three weeks. And I dunno you act weird these days." Lily was shocked. Had Olly just inquired about her life? Had he just expressed a sober form of care? Was he igniting conversation? A smile pulled at her lips.

"Yeah, just distracted I guess." She decided to keep the conversation short. If she drawled it out, Oliver would just lose interest and patience. After all, the satisfaction of him caring _at all_, was all she needed. The truth was, they did care about each other, they were "friends with benefits," but they both had a soft spot for each other's wellbeing.

"Alright." His voice was calm and soothing. Nothing else needed to be said, before they sat in a comfortable silence.

They pulled up to Oliver's apartment. It was small and cramped. But he was on his own so he couldn't afford anything more. His house smelled of the sweet substance.

He was eighteen, but his room looked like that of a five year olds. There were a few food stains on the carpet and a lot of clothes strewn about the floor. It was an honest mess. But it made Lily chuckle. _That_ was something she always shared with Oliver. Similarity. Her room may've been unsightly clean, but if she wasn't determined to be so different from her family, her room would be a creative mess.

The house wasn't homely like Miley's, but it gave her a comfortable familiarity. It was as though she was better than it, and not an inferior comparison. Oliver walked over to his kitchen and grabbed a joint and a bottle of Tequila. He preferred drinking, Lily didn't.

He rolled and lighted her joint. She smoked it slowly, the sweet happiness finding purchase in her chest. She let it loosely out of her mouth, and before she knew it, it was gone. She frowned, but looked over at an almost drunk Oliver. How could she not do this more often? How could she have not missed this with Miley? Oh yeah. It was because of Miley. Distracting her. Trying to change her.

Oliver was at a point where he wasn't acting obscenely, but his tongue was just loose enough to engage in conversation. Lily loved the carefree Oliver. It was the Olly she used to know; before he left to live with his dad for two years and came back selling drugs and dressing like a white rapper.

It was the Olly she used to date through eighth grade, the Olly who loved company and being silly and who had way too much hair. It was like a mop. An adorable mop. An adorable mopped head that broke her heart. Feelings began to swell in her chest as she began to think fondly and unfondly of her first boyfriend.

In fact, it was his boyfriend charm that started her on drugs. That started her slipping in school. That started her fighting. It was all because she couldn't let him go. Because she had let him in. When once she was fragile and trusting and young and naïve and _in love_ with Oliver. Being in love was the worst feeling and the best. It was giving your whole heart, and asking them to either cherish or crush it. They both started with a _c. _A _c_ for _can't_ as in can't and won't ever fall in love again.

The weed was certainly having an effect on her. She was jumping around in her mind and uncontrollably becoming angry. She decided to talk calmly to Olly.

"Hey Olly, tell me about Joannie, I see you with her a lot." The weed was starting to calm her nerves and talking about Joannie wasn't pissing her off like it used to.

"She's great. Ya know Lil she reminds me a lot of you. She's athletic and funny and a good kisser." He slurred a bit, but Lily couldn't help but swoon at his words.

"Really? Looks like she's sweet on you." His face tightened a bit.

"Yeah but I don't do relationships." It was true, since his three year relationship with Lily he'd never _dated_ a girl after that. Sometimes, it kind of offended Lily, but she knew he didn't date because he was smart and considerate.

"Does she know that?"

"I dunno Lil, can we talk about something else?" His voice was stern and Lily searched for a new topic in her mixed up mind.

"Yeah, whatta you gonna do after high school."

"It's the beginning of senior year fer me; I still have some time to think. I guess I'll continue to sell and work at Ruddy's to keep rent."

"How bout college?" He scoffed.

"Lil we both know that _we_ aren't the type to go to college."

"Well, I was thinking of college."

He scoffed again and looked at her with an "okay I'll humor you" look. It pissed her off. She could tell he was growing tired and bored of the conversation. Damn, the old Olly was wearing off again.

He took a step closer to Lily. He was now sitting beside her on the tattered couch. She could smell the breath of his alcohol, snaking near her lips. She wanted to kiss away all the new Oliver. She wanted to break the old Olly out. She _needed_ him. His comfort. His understanding. He sat in her heart in a place she didn't know existed. But it latched onto him. And would never entirely dissolve its feelings for him. But in her state, she couldn't feel embarrassed for this truth.

He reached a strong arm around her waist.

"You're a great girl Lil. I'm really happy you came over before Joannie did. It's good seeing my buddy again." His sincerity, though probably fake, was remarkably charming. He was a great actor when he wanted something. And Lily would succumb to his acting, give him anything he wanted, just to bring back the last threads of her old love. Even if those threads were artificial.

She pressed their lips together. He started slowly. It was unusual not to have him leap and jump and take command. It was almost…perfect. The way his calloused hands were so gently cupping her face. It was so uncanny for him to give this affection. But she needed it. She craved it. And she delivered the best she could.

Only too soon his hands were on her zipper.

"Olly. No. Not today please?"

"You still owe me for the weed." He began tugging the zipper.

"Fine." She delved in her pocket and fished out $20. "Here this should cover."

"No, I don't take money from _you _Lily. You knew you'd have to do this when you came over. You wanted it. Or you wouldn't have come."

"No, I wanted pot." _Well actually I wanted you. But not this side of you. The loving one._

"And you got it. Now give me what _I_ want."

"Oliver. NO!" Lily never called him 'Oliver' unless she was dead serious.

He forcefully pushed his lips on her. She shoved his shoulders and stood up, running for the door. At this point, she had another reason for liking him intoxicated. He was moving slower and his reaction time sucked. She threw her $20 at him and left. He stood up from the couch lazily.

"Good luck getting home, Bitch!"

She hadn't thought of that. In fact, she hadn't thought of anything but leaving that damned apartment.

She beat the ground with heavy footsteps, jogging her way back to Miley's. Thank GOD she was paying attention to street names as Oliver drove her. The run was tiring and extremely long. She was tired and gross and unbelievably sore. Even for an athletic person, running while not entirely sober was not a fun thing to do. But she needed to get back. She was punishing herself with the run. Punishing herself for thinking Oliver had changed again. God she was an idiot. That is why she HATED love.


	11. Jesus Miley

Miley lay in her bed. She, honestly, couldn't sleep knowing Lily was out somewhere. She looked at the clock. Neon numbers flashed out 1:00 AM. Should she be worried?

Suddenly, a click and slam of a door filtered through. Miley was glad her dad was out for the weekend, or Lily would have a shotgun shell through the head for scaring the house like that. She heard the guest shower turn on. And then the guest door closed. Lily had never slept in the guest room before, but Miley was okay with it. And she closed her eyes for a much anticipated sleep.

Miley awoke. The neon alarm clock flashed a bright 8 am. She hardly ever slept any later. After her late arrival, Miley figured Lily would probably still be asleep. Something in her mind told her to go check on her.

She went to the bathroom and fixed a few crazy curls, brushed her teeth, and then walked over to the guest room. She opened the door as silently as possible, and walked inside.

Mangled between the white sheets was a little bundle of innocence. That was the only way to describe her. The light penetrating through the constricting blinds was shining down on her in a radiant kind of way. It was no halo, but in its own makeshift way, it made the blonde appear angelic. She was beautiful in repose. The way her lips were slightly parted, the way her golden locks curled around her face, and the way her eyes were so calmly shut. Her image gave deception to rumors of drugs and pointless whoring about.

She looked innocent of anything. Even with the evil that seemed to crawl about her surface, all Miley could see was a misguided treasure to be adored for the good moments of her personality. That's all anyone could see of Lily this moment. The scene completed cleared Miley's mind of all the younger girl's misdoings. All she wanted to do was make a big, yummy breakfast for the girl, and hold her in her arms.

It was so wrong. It was so wrong that Lily couldn't appreciate the things Miley did for her. It was so wrong that Miley wanted to passionately slave over this girl, tell her everything was okay, and make her life better. It was so wrong that Miley had the urge to hug the girl so closely she could feel every crevice in her form, every crease in her clothes, every breath in her chest. Oh boy, _that_ was so wrong.

Miley turned away, ashamed at her thoughts. She exited the room and closed the door. She was beginning to understand Lily. She knew that when Lily got up, she'd probably receive the cold shoulder and the brunt of whatever had pissed the little blonde off last night. She decided maybe she should leave her alone today. After all, she _did_ have a date planned with Jake.

Jake. Jake was getting to be very different after his week away. He was so much kinder and gentler. _This _was the Jake that Miley had fallen in love with. _This_ was the Jake Miley sat by faithfully with. _This_ was the Jake she longed for and forgave. She felt bad for forgiving him, but it was necessary. She had to spend her life with him. Plus, as long as she promised to "do it" with him at least twice a month, he would never be forceful. He promised. And in the past week he proved it, by never forcing himself on her mouth, never forcing his hands on her. Being told to have sex twice in a month wasn't that bad though, was it? Nope. Not if she got the boyfriend she knew and loved back. Love is _supposed_ to be sacrifice right?

After she was finished convincing herself that her actions were right, she pulled out her cell phone and punched in the numbers.

"Hey my Smiley girl, how are you?" It was early, and Jake was certainly straining to sound excited. _He must have just gotten out of bed._ She giggled a bit at the nickname though.

"Hey Jake, we still on for the park?"

"Yeah, uhh, it's 8:15 in the morning Miles, you think we could go out a little later?"

"Can you pick me up at 9:30?" She really wanted to be out of the house before Lily woke up.

"Uhh sure no problem sweetheart. I'll see you in a bit."

"Okay, see ya Jake."

"Bye Miles."

The line went dead. Miley still didn't trust Jake completely. She shocked even herself at how fast she'd gotten over _the incident._ But a day spent remembering the boy she loved was certainly necessary. She kind of _needed_ to get her mind off Lily. So she went downstairs and began to cook breakfast.

Lily awoke to a big ass column of light in her eyes. She groaned and turned over to look at the standard alarm clock by her bed. The neon print read 11 am. She let out an exasperated sigh of annoyance.

Her stomach twisted in pain. She realized she hadn't eaten after the weed last night. Not only was she hungry because it was the morning, but also because she hadn't satisfied the munchies. _This is gonna be one of the kill me now days._ She got up slowly and made her way to her overnight bag. After she readied herself for the day, she walked downstairs, the familiar scent of food lingering in the air.

"Miley?" She looked around for the girl. Most likely, she wasn't upstairs. She was always awake by now from the two weekends Lily had spent there. She felt like she'd been floating on some cloud. It was the greatest two weekends of her life. But she had to get real. She had to realize, like everything in her life, happiness disappears. But this time it was _her_ who had made it disappear. She groaned. _Better me than someone else. At least I know happiness in a lie._

She looked for something to eat. As she neared the refrigerator, a note with her name on it sat in big letters.

_Lily,_

_I know you're mad at me. I'm sorry for whatever it is I did. I won't waste my time asking you to talk to me, and to avoid further pissing you off, I decided to leave you alone for a bit. There's some bacon and eggs I made for you in the microwave, and if you need me I'm out with Jake. Just call._

_ Miley_

Lily looked at the note and scoffed. How could she go out with Jake? The Jake that caused her all that pain? Lily thought about last weekend. They were talking about Jake.

**Flashback**

_"I just don't know what I did for it Lily. Why did he do that to me?" Lily sat with Miley curled in her arms. She was honestly uncomfortable, but she knew Miley needed it. She kept showing off her new talent of hugging, as Miley played with the straps of her shoes and confessed her feelings about Jake._

_ "Miley it's okay, you didn't do anything to deserve it. You should just break up with him." What was she supposed to say? Why hadn't Miley broken up with him already? A fresh set of tears wet her arms as they slid off Miley's cheeks._

_ "Thank you Lily." She had a dark look in her eyes. Like she was trapped. Like she was hiding something. But she was utterly grateful. What'd Lily do? All she did was sit there and hug Miley. But, if that was helping her, then so be it._

_ "It's okay Miley." She was nervous. What was she supposed to do?_

**End of Flashback**

Lily delved into the bacon and eggs. It was amazing. She kept thinking about Miley. She kind of wanted the company. She wanted to apologize for being a bitch. Even though she'd never apologize to anyone else, she felt the need to say something. It was awful to think that Miley had thought about her, let her stay in the house, and made her breakfast…RIGHT AFTER SHE'D BEEN A TOTAL BYOTCH. The thought actually made Lily laugh. Miley was so weak. She was too kind for her own good. She was going to get destroyed, eaten, spit out. But she'd have to figure that out on her own, because after she said sorry to Miley today, she planned to leave the house for good.

She pulled out her phone.

**-Thank u Miley**

She looked around for what to do. What was there to do? Was she supposed to leave? Was she supposed to stay? She decided to clean up and do homework. It would keep her mind off things. At least until Miley came home. She rehearsed her speech a few times. Why was it so difficult to just say I'm out?

Jake snaked his arm around Miley's shoulder. They were sitting on a bench, silently watching the antics of little children. Honestly, being with Jake had been amazing. They had gone out for breakfast together, taken a long refreshing walk, and now they were cuddling on the bench. She hesitantly rested her head on his chest, tucking herself into him.

He was warm, and he smelled great. He always did, really. But the way he was being so gentle and gracious today was just making him even more appealing. He was coming back. He was fading in. The old Jake was crawling back out. She was starting to find the shoulder she used to cry on, the eyes that used to melt her. _Her_ Jake was finally back. Her heart was starting to flutter again.

"Hey Miley, you look a little troubled. Is everything alright?" Was her face really _that_ distracted? No, she was pretty good at hiding it. _This_ was the old Jake that could always tell when something was wrong. _This_ was the one her heart lived on for. Right?

"Miles?" He hugged a little closer for her attention. She looked at him, meeting his shiny blue eyes.

"Nah I'm fine, just got a bit on my mind."

"You wanna talk to me about it? I'm no advice giver, but I can listen."

"Nah I don't need to bother you with my life."

He looked down at her with eyes full of concern and a smile of pure…care? His eyes were the warm sunny rays she remembered.

"Miley, your life isn't a bother to me. I wanna be close to you like I used to be. I know I've been saying things like that all week, but listen Miles. I wanna be your best friend again. The guy you go to straight away when you need help, need to talk, need a hand. I don't know how I let myself grow so far from you. I've been so selfish and stupid. But let me be here for you always."

Miley looked with the greatest love in her eyes. It was _her_ fault. It was _her_ fault she let Jake go. She's _supposed_ to have sex with her boyfriend. It was _her_ fault that she ever made him resort to violence. She was so lucky to have a boy like this. How could she not see that? After all, besides the rape, he'd never done anything bad. He was perfect. And maybe it wasn't rape? Maybe if she would've stopped being a drama queen, she could've enjoyed. No, he didn't rape her, he made love to her.

"I forgive you Jake. It's my fault. Forgive me?" He smiled and they came together in a warm kiss. _That's it. I've got her. As long as I can talk myself out, she's in my control. _He smiled against her lips, and they stayed together, harmlessly kissing, for what seemed like hours. Miley was content. That was a feeling she hadn't been used to with him.

Miley crept through the door silently. It was 5 pm. She'd gone to a movie with Jake and then they'd headed to an arcade. Wow. She'd spent around seven hours with him. It flew by so quick.

She saw Lily hunched over the island-bar. She got a distance so she could see what the girl was working on. Homework?

"Hey nerd, how ya been?" She was in a good mood.

Lily turned around suddenly, embarrassed that Miley had seen her doing homework.

"What's got you in such a great mood?" Didn't she hang out with Jake today?

"I was out with Jake silly, didn't you read the note." _Am I missing something? Didn't Jake rape her? Didn't he cause her all those tears? Like what the hell?_ Lily wanted to man up and ask why she would hang with Jake after all the tears, but she knew how those conversations often went. They were avoided. And her intention wasn't to piss Miley off; it was to tell her _not_ to invite her to her house anymore. This was just someone she couldn't handle taking advantage of. It had to be wrong for her to want to preserve Miley's feelings. It _had_ to be. _Damn my conscience. You don't work when I do drugs, you don't work when I get in fights, the minute I wanna be bothered taking advantage of someone sweet you damn near strangle me with guilt. Fuck you._

"Lily?"

"Umm Miley I'm gonna go home tonight okay? Thanks for letting me stick around today; I apologize for what I said to you yesterday, it was out of line for me to get so pissy." Miley's face dropped.

"But Lily Rick's there this weekend. Isn't he?"

Lily _should_ have lied and said no. That way she could just go. But _no_, of course, the conscience was working against her better judgment. Plus, she could handle him. She didn't _need_ anyone's damn help!

"Yeah he is. But it doesn't matter, I can han-"

"No, Lily! You can't handle him. I'm not letting you leave. Please Lily? I know you're a strong girl, I know you're brave and able to face anything, but this doesn't count as something you _shouldn't_ be worried about. No Lily, please don't go." Miley's tone was strong, serious, and pleading. There was no denying those eyes. Miley wanted to ask why Lily hadn't done something about Rick, but that would just lead to a Jake discussion. And she was not ready to unveil her secret about Jake.

"Miley…" Lily whined.

"No Lily. Please?" Lily looked at her. She was already in submission. They both knew it.

"Okay. Thank you Miley. I guess…I guess I just always handle." Did she just breakdown? _Damn you inner Lily!_

"Lil, can I have a hug?" Why had she wanted one from Lily all day?

Lily looked at her unsure. She decided to make a silent vow to herself. She would reward Miley's kindness by satisfying this _need_ for affection she had. Yes, if Miley liked this affection whatnot, then Lily would give it.

"Yeah."

They came together. Miley wrapped her arms tightly around the girl, not around her neck, around her waist. She leaned into her completely. Sparks flew through her as she felt every part of herself pressed against the other girl. From her shoulders to…well …the front of her pants. Oh boy, this was close. This was REEEAAALLLY close.

Lily threw her arms back around Miley. Damn this girl liked to touch. Jesus was there any part of her that wasn't being crushed into Miley? Hmm…maybe hugs aren't that bad. It felt like forever since they'd hugged.

After they broke, Miley had a gigantic smile on her face.

"What's got you so happy?"

"I didn't think you'd hug me."

"Why not?"

"Guess I thought you were still mad at me."

"I was never mad at _you_ Miley. Just mad in general, then I took it out on you. I apologize."

Miley nodded and smiled. She called into a pizza place, not really feeling like cooking.

After Lily had playfully and successfully fought Miley until she let her pay the bill, and after they had snuggled on the couch and watched a _Lord of the Rings _marathon, it was around 11 pm. Lily was admittedly uncomfortable with snuggling. But she would stay true to her vow. And after a while, it was kind of nice having Miley playing absentmindedly with her fingers, running her hands up and down her arms. She was getting more comfortable with her scars, Miley's fingers caressing them, making them okay. But Lily would never tell her that. She still couldn't believe how touchy feely this girl was, how affectionate she could be after yesterday. But what the hell?

It was time for bed. Miley offered the guest room, and Lily took it. It was the right thing to do. After they had both showered and brushed their teeth, Miley walked nonchalantly into said room. Lily was sitting on the bed distractedly.

"Hey Lil uhh where'd you go last night?"

"Oliver's." Lily spoke without thinking, instantly regretting it. She saw the upsettance in Miley's eyes; she had ditched _her_ for drugs.

"Okay then Lily. Get some rest." She figured she wouldn't start a fight.

She walked over to Lily slowly. She sat on the edge of the bed near her and snatched up her hand.

"Lily please trust me. Give me a chance before you push me away." She looked deeply into Lily's eyes. They were confused, clouded over, thinking. But they were touched. She was touched.

"Good night Lil. If you feel like you need drugs, talk to me please. Talk to me about your problems."

Before she thought about, and before Lily could process it, Miley quickly kissed her on the cheek.

"G-Good night Miles." She touched her cheek. Miley smiled and bit her lip before turning off the light and walking out.

_Was that a Goddamn kiss on the cheek? Jesus Miley. _


	12. Jack the Ripper

Lily woke up, groaning, and turning to the alarm clock. It was 8 am.

"Jesus Christ." She sat up and ran her hands rapidly through her hair, the morning deliriousness slowly fading. What had woken her up? The shower was running in the distance. Oh, that.

Come to think of it, she wasn't really tired after her semi-early turn in last night. She'd slept fairly decent. She decided to start her day and walked to the bathroom.

After she'd readied herself, she walked downstairs slowly. She was flooded with memories of her first day here. This house was nice. She looked over to the stove, not making her appearance clear yet, and saw Miley standing, a hypnotized look on her face. She looked possessed standing, staring at the stove. Lily crinkled her face in wonderment before proceeding to check Miley out.

_Hmm a tank and some short jean shorts – wow those are short. _Lily found her gaze landing straight on Miley's ass. _Oh my shit, her ass looks great. Oh my gosh those legs…_Lily shook the thoughts from her head, unbelieving that she had even thought of them in the first place.

She ought to bond with Miley a little more. I mean, she didn't have to like being "protected" but maybe she could get a little closer to Miley. Maybe everything could get a little better if they were closer. After all, the brunette was practically on her knees begging her to have some faith. Yes, she would trust Miley to an extent. It seemed nearly necessary. Maybe having a 'best friend' wasn't so bad.

She emerged from her little hiding place.

"Hey Miles."

Miley looked over and smiled, completely broken from her daze. She looked at Lily, her eyes involuntarily dropping over the girl's body. She was wearing dark jeans, like usual, but she had on loose T-shirt that had been ripped sleeveless. _Always rugged looking but adorable nonetheless._ She smiled and took notice that Lily wasn't afraid to wear short sleeves around her anymore. This was a good start, she might be starting to get comfortable.

Lily looked dead at Miley's eyes. She noticed them traveling down. She felt weird under the scrutiny. As quickly as they'd dropped, they came back up. _What was that about?_

"Good Morning Lil." They shared a smile as Miley came over.

Miley grabbed her, smiling, and threw her arms around her. They shared a brief hug before Miley begun bustling around the kitchen.

"What cha want for breakfast?" Lil sat up at the bar.

"Hey umm Miles where'd you learn to cook?"

"My daddy taught me a few years ago. Me and my…mom… used to cook together when I was younger too. I guess my daddy taught me because his job has him out so much and he doesn't want me constantly buying take out and whatnot." She chuckled nervously. Discussions about her family always made her nervous.

"Oh, I see. That's so cool. Could you umm teach me to cook some?"

Miley's eyes brightened a few hundred mega watts. _Yes, I am good. _Lily thought.

"Really, you would want me to? Now?"

"Yeah I would…it would be really neat to learn. Cuz I, ya know, love to eat."

Miley smiled and giggled that light and airy giggle she was famous for.

"Well then Lil, I'll teach you now. What do you wanna learn how to make?"

"SPAGHETTI!" Lily's excitement was evident on her face.

"Aww Lil you're so cute." Lily looked down, red in the face. "You want spaghetti for breakfast?"

As the tan returned to Lily's face she nodded and smiled. "You know I'll eat anything. And that's amazing."

Miley smiled and tapped Lily affectionately on the nose. "Hey now, if I teach you to cook, you won't have any incentive to stay at my house." Miley faked a pout but there was a genuine look of sadness ready to sprout.

"Well you never know I may stay for something else. You know there's this cooky, too-sweet- for- her- own- good brunette here. You oughtta meet her sometime."

Miley's smile returned and she playfully patted Lily on the arm.

"Let's get the ingredients."

After getting all the vegetables, sauces, noodles, and utensils out, they began to work.

"Hey Lil turn on the stove will ya." Lily turned to Miley, seeing her pulling something from a cabinet.

"Uhh okay." Her voice had evident uncertainty.

She felt Miley come up behind her. She smiled and giggled mockingly.

"Ha have you ever used a stove?" Lily shook her head no and looked down. Miley smiled understandingly.

"Alright watch this." She turned the knob and Lily jumped as the blue flamed flickered out. Miley laughed again and put her hand on Lily's shoulder.

"Relax sweetheart. Will you go fill that pot with some water? We hafta boil the noodles."

Lily complied, able to handle this task.

Soon, Lily was at the counter, knife in hand, chopping the vegetables while Miley tended to the sauce. She kept looking over to Lily worriedly and Lily could feel her eyes. She smiled and chuckled to herself, unsure of whether she should be offended or laughing. _God she thinks I'm gonna tear my wrist open, can't she see I'm happy? I'm not gonna go all Jack the Ripper with the silverware. _She felt Miley's eyes and she turned around jokily.

"Miley, hun, I'm cutting the _vegetables."_ Miley smiled, embarrassed that Lily knew why she was looking.

"I know, I know."

Lily continued cutting the vegetables as she felt Miley coming up behind her. _Right_ behind her.

"Aww Lil let me help you; you have to cut with a different angle." Lily felt the words, flirting with her ear. The breath tickled her ear.

"Huh?" She couldn't really make out words, but gave a fitting face of confusion.

"Here, follow my hands." She came closer, until there was NO distance between her front and Lily's back. She reached her arms around the smaller girl, overlapping their arms, and put her hands on top of Lily's.

"Okay watch how I angle it." She raised her hand, still gently controlling the knife with Lily's grasp. Lily couldn't concentrate. Miley was way too close. Her hands were so soft. Her exhales were playing Lily's ears. Miley was flush against her, her chin almost on her shoulder. Oh damn, she was supposed to be watching.

"Think you got it?" Miley had a look on her face, like she knew Lily hadn't been paying attention. She raised her eyebrows, as though about to inquire, but Lily beat her.

"Uhh, yeah I think so." Lily said not planning to admit she had no effing clue.

"Alright then." Miley gave Lily's shoulders a slight squeeze.

Lily tried to focus, she really tried. But her mind was pretty far from the vegetables. Why was she thinking like she was? Why was she so nervous? Suddenly, she felt a biting sting in her finger. She hissed and jerked her hand away. It was bleeding, couldn't be deep, but it was sure a gusher.

Miley had turned and was looking at the finger.

"Oh Lily."

She seized the hand and put it under the tap. After washing it and holding a paper towel to it, she looked up at Lily.

"You hafta focus sweetie." She ruffled Lily's hair, and the blonde looked down bashfully. She left for a moment and returned with something from a cabinet.

"Hold out your finger and give me your other hand." Lily looked at her confusedly, but complied.

"It's gonna sting real bad." She gave no other warning before spraying Lily's finger with disinfectant.

"Ow!" Upon reaction, Lily squeezed Miley's hand. Miley smiled.

"That's why." Miley rubbed her thumb on the back of Lily's hand until the sting wore off, then, she put a Band-Aid on it. After, she brought it to her lips and pecked it.

"Feel a bit better?" Lily smiled and nodded.

"How about I handle the cutting? Strain the noodles for me, kay?" Lily did as she was told. Smiling at her finger, and inwardly laughing at the irony.

Soon, the spaghetti was made and devoured, and they sat at island after cleaning up.

"Thanks a lot for teaching me."

"Lil you have a lot more to learn, you wanna try again some time?"

"Uhh well I guess so…I mean I could just live on spaghetti you know." Lily smiled.

Miley smiled back.

"As long as you watch yourself goofball. Cudda split your finger open. Plus you nearly jumped outta yer skin when that stove turned on." She chuckled in reminisce.

"Hey now, you cured my finger. Plus I've never used a stove before!" She put an "L" sign to her forehead. "You don't hafta remind me Miles, I know I fail at being seventeen."

Miley smiled and rubbed Lily's shoulder.

"You'll get there babe."

They spent the rest of the day lounging like usual. And only too soon, Lily was taken home. Whenever Lily had to spend the nights at home, she would always end up sleeping at the park somewhere, unbeknown to Miley of course. These days, it was only in the morning to change and head to school, that she actually went home. Miley's dad was strict, and he wouldn't like it if he knew that Lily stayed the weekends at their house. In fact, Miley kept it a secret, telling Lily that she couldn't have her father find out, he wouldn't approve. They'd be screwed if Miley's dad was actually home for the weekend, but he never seemed to be.

She often worried about Lily on the weekdays, usually texting her all night to make sure she was safe. There was nothing she could do; she had to let Lily work it out herself. She sometimes would try to get the courage to ask Lily where she stayed, but she honestly didn't want to know. It was probably Oliver's or something, because she most likely wouldn't stay home. But she had to remember Lily wasn't used to care, and inviting her into her house fulltime would probably scare her away. She had to trust Lily getting along like she always did.


	13. Lily's Gonna Pay

The week was strange. Miley was all over Jake. It was unusual to see the pain of fear wiped from her face. She looked blissful. She was completely joyous. The way she smiled at him, there was nothing contradicting behind that smile. What had made them so happy again? They looked like they did last year.

Lily recounted sitting in the cafeteria. It was Thursday and she couldn't wait for the week to end, as it had been full of the lovey dovey couple PDAing any and everywhere. She was with some nameless crew. She had no idea who they were, but they didn't seem to mind her sitting there, her lunch sitting untouched before her. For someone who ate like a tornado, she never really touched food when she was upset by something. She couldn't keep her eyes from the cheer table. It was table of only couples, really. If you were a cheerleader without a boyfriend or a boy toy, you were looked down upon if you sat there.

Miley was under Jake's draped arm. She was feeding him, and him her, light kisses in between. They looked so … so … in love. It turned Lily's stomach. How could she love a guy that treated her like shit? In one of her raged days, Miley had mentioned that Jake had hit her after the rape and continuously cussed at her that entire week. But after she had said that she looked pale and sickly and was silent the whole afternoon.

Something clenched in her heart. It clenched and twisted and didn't make sense. She felt an aching in her chest. It made her feel awkward and cold from the inside out. She couldn't watch this. She had almost forced the internal cold out by being smothered in a rage provoked heat. She dumped her tray, and stomped out, going to silently sit in the library.

Miley looked over to see Lily making her way to a vacant end of a table. Did she always sit alone? Jake had just put his arm around her and she gave him a kiss. She liked being with him these days; it gave her the same delightful chills it did when they first met in tenth grade.

Lily looked miserable, like she'd just swallowed a bottle of Teen Depression. Miley kept staring at her, unsure of what to do. She wanted to go over and ask what was wrong, but that just couldn't happen. People like her didn't interact with people like Lily at school. It was for both their good. Plus, Lily would probably take her anger out on her anyways. She soon noticed Lily's eyes on her own and she turned to spoon some macaroni in Jake's mouth.

She felt Lily's eyes on her for the remainder of lunch. She was scowling. _Is she mad at me?_ She looked over just in time to catch a great view of Lily's ass stomping out of the cafeteria. She sighed, figuring she'd just ask later.

_-Lil? You looked really upset in the cafeteria today. Talk to me. Bad day?_

Miley, still seated right beside the blonde in Creative Writing Class, passed her a note under the desk. Lily reluctantly took the note, unfolding it and reading its contents. She didn't pass the note back. She sure as hell didn't wanna talk about it. This conversation wouldn't end well for either of them, and both of them knew it.

Miley was adamant on figuring out if this was her fault. They had made such good progress over the weekend, what was happening? If Lily was planning on doing what she did again on Friday, Miley had to stop her. She took out another piece of paper.

_-Lily if this is my fault, please tell me what I've done._

She passed the note and Lily took it, read it, and discarded it like the last. Miley wasn't about to give up.

_-Dammit Lily, I will destroy the entire rainforest passing you notes if you don't answer me._

Lily had to suppress a chuckle at reading it. She looked up into Miley's face for the first time. She had a look of concern, normally she would've grabbed Lily's hand by now, but considering the location, she tried to offer comfort in her eyes. "Talk to me." She mouthed at Lily. Lily gave her a stern, dark stare and looked back down on the note.

_-I don't want to talk about it Miley. The conversation would just piss us both off._

_-I don't care Lil just tell me what it is._

_-You won't even answer, and if you do, you'll be mad._

Mr. Falcon was looking suspiciously at the two. Miley hid the note and they both raised their gaze to his. He nodded in silent warning and they both paid attention until the note made a final journey to Lily's desk.

_-Talk to me by my car after school._

Miley looked for agreement, but Lily just set her eyes back on the board.

After school, Lily decided she might want to take Miley up on the offer. Why not meet her car? Why not prove that she couldn't handle the subject of Jake? Why not?

Lily walked into the vacant lot, seeking out the parking spot she knew so well. She wasn't far from it when she saw Jake pushing Miley against the car. They were making out. Rather heavy too. But Miley didn't seem like she was being forced, she looked fine, happy even. Her hand was on his cheek, and his was on her waist. They looked like a movie couple, in their perfect movie kiss. Lily shook her head in disgust and started to walk away.

"Baby I gotta go." Miley said as she saw Lily walking away. She smiled at Jake and gave him a final parting peck, then shook him off a bit and he smiled and walked away, signing for her to call him later.

"Lily!" Lily kept walking, heat had to be radiating off her body with how pissed she was.

"Lily! Wait!" Miley grabbed Lily's wrist, they weren't too far from the car. Lily turned around and jerked her arm away, taking Miley by surprise.

"Stop it Miley! God, stop it!" Miley looked hurt and confused.

"Lil what's wrong?!" Miley backed up toward her car, indicating Lily to come with her. She did, and when she got to the car she pushed Miley into it, pointing a hard finger into her chest.

"God dammit, you're so blind Miley." She looked like she could punch a hole in the car. Her voice was low, as to not cause a scene, but was venomous like never before. She looked as though she were holding back, like she was about to hurt her.

"Lil I don't understand. Tell me about the cafeteria?" _I should just go now and tell Miley to fuck off. _But something inside her, something that cared for Miley, told her this conversation was necessary.

She sighed deeply trying to summon the patience needed for this conversation. She didn't want sound completely accusatory; after all, this _was_ Jake's fault, not entirely Miley's.

"Miley, I see you with Jake all the time these days. And you look happy, like nothing ever happened. But you know he treats you badly, why are you doing this? Why are you staying with him?"

Miley's voice was stuck. She felt a bulk of tears lodged in her throat, threatening to open the flood gates. She sighed and tried to word this.

"Lily, he's my boyfriend. People make mistakes. I love him Lil, I have to forgive and forget. We've moved on, he's a good guy and a great boyfriend. And I misinterpreted what he did."

The impatience was killing to come out. But she had to stay calm for Miley's sake. She put her hands roughly on the other girl's shoulders.

"Miley. Listen to me. And listen to me carefully. He raped you. He fucking violated you. He hurt you. And he'll do it again if you give him the chance. It's like you've completely forgotten what he's done." She spoke slowly, enunciating every word like it was her last words.

Miley was awestruck. She didn't know what to say. How could her friend do this? She wasn't sure what to do.

"Fuck you Lily. _You're_ the one who insisted I had to move on. You told me to get on with my life, find someone who loved me like I was supposed to be loved. What the hell Lily?"

She remembered saying that. She had said it in the spur of the moment, proud that someone as uncompassionate as she could pull that out of her. But she was losing her battle of patience.

"Miley I didn't mean go back to Jake. And I meant forget it, as in move past it, be able to live through it, not be traumatized by it every second like you used to be some nights. Jesus Christ Miley. You're going right back into the arms of your abuser. It would be like me running up and sticking my tongue down Rick's throat, with a sign that said RAPE ME on my forehead."

Miley gasped in shock. She hated Rick with a passion and she didn't even know him. She knew how Lily felt about talking about him. It hurt her and she couldn't believe she had brought him up. She couldn't believe she had compared her sweet Jake to that bastard.

"You can't compare Jake to that shithead. That's totally different."

"How is it different?! They did the same thing."

"No, Jake and I had sex because he loves me."

"NO HE DOESN'T MILEY! Just because he puts on that stupid ass cocky grin and handles you gently and tells you he cares, doesn't mean he fucking loves you. You're NOT SUPPOSED to be forced. Just because he's not forcing you, doesn't mean he's being a good boyfriend, it means he's not being an abusive one!"

Lily knew if this was anyone else, she would've decked her or left by now. But this was her _friend_ and she had to show she cared; she had to tell the girl what she needed to know. God, _friend_ was such a foreign word.

Tears were now flooding down Miley's eyes. She knew somewhere in her heart that Lily couldn't be more right. But she couldn't believe, she couldn't lose faith or she'd suffer her whole life.

Lily didn't know what to do; she knew Miley was having some serious World War III inner conflict. She could see the fear of truth in Miley's eyes being exterminated by the fantasy she wanted to believe. God, optimism was a bittersweet truth to be cherished as determination and deception. In this case, deception was the thing that was driving Miley's determined love.

Lily put her hands on Miley's shoulders and pulled her away from leaning on the car. She wrapped her arms, instinctively, around Miley's waist. God, she so wasn't used to this friend thing. But she felt she was doing well. Miley pushed her away viciously, clawing at her back to get her to let go.

"Get off me Lily. Get off me! I hate you! Get off me!" Lily didn't let go, didn't falter for even a second. She held onto Miley as tight as she could without killing her. Finally, her struggling stopped. Her struggling stopped and her arms found their way around Lily's neck and she leant her cheek against Lily's shoulder, her breath on Lily's neck. Lily curled her fingers in the shiny brown locks, soothing the girl by rubbing her back with the other free hand. They looked nothing short of a couple, their embrace was visually affectionate.

Miley's crying turned into heaves, relaxing with the other girl's touch. They stayed like that for a solid five minutes, receiving mixed stares from the few teachers and staff members that still lurked about the lot. Finally, Miley looked into Lily's eyes and quietly kissed her on the cheek before briefly hugging her again.

Lily smiled at Miley, and the brunette tempted a smile in return. She was grateful and Lily could tell, even through the puffy eyes, running make up, and body shakes.

"Gimme yer keys Miley and I'll take you home." She put her arm around the girl's shoulders and took the keys.

They ended up driving to Miley's house, but her dad was home so Lily couldn't be seen. Before entering the house, Miley practically jumped on Lily hugging her with all her might.

Although, both of them had seemed oblivious to the little red convertible sitting at the end of a row in the parking lot. And in it was a seething Jake, who had seen the two's impossibly close hugging, and how Miley had ditched him to start bawling with some stupid skate punk. He had taken down the window to listen to their conversation, often tempted to jump out and beat the shit out of Lily. He had kept control, not wanting to upset Miley, but as soon as he and Lily were alone, she was gonna pay.


	14. Black and Blue

Lily had spent a restless night. Rick was drunk and passed out, so she'd spent it lying in her room. She used to spend hours in her room, enjoying the quiet of it all, but now its memories haunted her. Whenever she was in there, her thoughts were dark, but often most truthful. She thought about the day, about breaking the truth of everything to Miley. It was as if she had finally gotten the message, finally understood.

Comforting Miley, having her lips on her cheek, having her arms with a death grip around her shoulders, it was a strange experience to Lily. It was something that made her feel weak and caring. She didn't like to think Miley was changing her. Lily was a _no exceptions_ kind of person. She couldn't break that for Miley, hell, she'd broken enough because of her. No, she would have to disconnect. The feelings she had hugging Miley weren't natural, they weren't right, they just weren't gonna happen.

Friday came in a dreadful fashion. Lily averted her eyes every time she saw Miley attempting to look at her. At one point, Miley was hoping to talk to her, but she couldn't, not today. It was too difficult to comprehend what was happening, she wouldn't stop being Miley's friend, but she couldn't think the way she did. She couldn't feel the way she did.

Miley avoided Jake in the same fashion Lily avoided her. It was hardly discreet; she had pulled away from his embraces, and turned a cheek to his kisses. But he wasn't forcing. He wasn't forcing because he knew he couldn't win her over if he forced. He'd have to wait, targeting her weakness; he would have to destroy the friendship between her and Lily.

The day ended with the two friends tottering on the thin wire of their on and off friendship. It seemed, for the moment, they were both close to tipping over. Miley had realized that Lily was going out of her way to evade her, and she accepted that distance, though in uncertainly considering their previous connection. Needless to say, Miley had kept far away as possible from Lily by the end of the day.

Lily was walking home. She had an ever present feeling that something was behind her. She would chance a look around, but there was nothing. There was never something. But the footsteps vibrated the ground, and she had a feeling they weren't just hers.

Finally a hand was on her wrist. It was a cold hand and it was gripping her wrist with a dead clench. She felt her stomach turn as she was flipped around, a hard and solid punch finding its way to her chest. She immediately hit the ground, landing straight on her back. The wind was knocked out of her, and she choked to regain her breath. Her head had hit the concrete rather hard, and she could feel some bleeding and some dizziness coming up on her.

She looked menacingly at the character that had inflicted this pain. Jake. Her jaw was tight with pain and anger, but she hadn't the right mind or the time to retaliate.

"Get the hell up!" She felt two strong hands grip the collar of her shirt, dragging her up from the ground. She debated yelling for help, but remembered no one was around. That was primarily why she took this route, because these streets were usually deserted. One hand left her collar and slashed a chilled slap on her right cheek. Her head dropped to the ground at the contact, she was quickly losing energy.

"Look at me you bitch." He jerked her head up by her hair and she whimpered involuntarily.

"I heard what you said to Miley last night. She told me that you didn't approve of me. So we set up so that I could hear the whole conversation. You make me sick. I know exactly what you're up to, trying to break me and Miley up because you're a perverted lesbo." He rattled her by the collar, and then sent another searing slap across her face.

"God, filling her head with that shit you make up. And the best part is she doesn't believe a word you say. My little Miley is a really great actress, she can cry on cue. And you wanna know why she avoided you towards the end of the day? It's because she knew this was going to happen. She knew you were gonna get what was coming to you. I only wish she could've come and enjoyed it." With that, he kneed her in the stomach, knocking the wind from her again, and pushed her to the ground. He squatted down and looked at her.

"Don't come near her again." With that, he spit straight in her face. She cringed, summoning a final strength.

"_You_ stay away from her you sick bastard." She yelled at him. He growled at her, and kicked hard in the side. She yelled out in pain, holding her side, and looking to him.

"Don't try and tell the school I did this. They'll never believe _your_ story over mine. And since you're already on probation with the police for public fighting, maybe you shouldn't try contacting them either." With his cocky smile painted beautifully on his face, he left. He had won. And he knew it. He had torn the string of friendship, he had begun to crack Lily, he had a firm hold on Miley, and there was nothing anyone could do about anything.

Lily lay, grimacing in pain, on the ground. She thought about her words. The only words she had actually said to him were in Miley's defense. God damn was she a fool. She let Miley in, and was rewarded with physical pain as well as emotional. Great. That's why they were together in the first place, by the car. They were plotting. Miley set this whole damn thing up. God, why did she let herself fall into this?

She lay on the ground for nearly an hour, praying for someone to see her. But no one came. So she limped her way home, finding Rick and her mom passed out.

And for the remainder of the night, she lay in bed, bags of ice on her swollen cheek, side, and chest. And she lay, wishing she could see Miley. All she wanted to do was punch that preppy little face until it was just as messed up as hers. That is, after she murdered her preppy prick of a boyfriend.

She felt a vibration near her, and opened up her phone to see the text message.

**-Hey are you okay? :) **

It was from Miley. She threw the phone across room, satisfied at its smashing. She had the temerity to make fun of Lily after having her busted up. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and reached for the knife beside her bed.


	15. Hate

Miley was worried. It was Saturday now and she'd left around twenty unreturned texts and ten unreturned calls to Lily's cell phone. Had she lost it? Was she mad? _What did I do?_ Miley was pacing around her room. Who knew not talking to the little blonde could get her so bothered?

She had spent the night crying about Jake. She hated him and loved him. There were sparkles of hate everywhere, because they couldn't go away, because everything Lily had said was right. Yet, there was a brilliant love beneath it. A love that couldn't perish entirely after two years of loyalty. Sure, it was easier to love him then to hate him, but she couldn't help but feel like her heart was in another place.

She spent the morning trying to busy herself, but unable to stop herself from thinking of Lily, and why she'd pulled away after the comfort, and why she hadn't the courtesy to answer even _one_ of Miley's attempts. Miley would've been content just getting a message like _fuck off_. But Lily wasn't even giving her that. And it was no secret that Lily was hardly discreet when it came to being mad at you.

She made up her mind. She would visit Lily.

Lily was sitting in her room. It was 11 am, and she knew she'd have to leave when her parents woke up, but that wasn't for at least another two hours. So she sat at her desk, black book in hand, a pen, and a mind full of questioned sorrows.

Her body was in a whirl of physical pain. But what could she do? She had no one to care for her. Not even a best friend. At some point, she might've gone to Miley, at least to get advice on how to treat herself, but considering just the thought of her brought inevitable rage, Lily decided that physical pain was not a bad distraction.

Miley stopped at the door of the crinkly house. It was even worse looking each week. It seemed the grass was just a tiny bit browner, the walls were just a tiny bit more cracked up, and the windows were just a tiny bit darker. Just seeing the sad excuse put Miley in a somber mood.

Miley wanted to knock on the door, but there was a chance Lily wouldn't let her in. Was it right to just barge in? She was awful scared of Rick and Heather. But maybe, maybe, it was better than chancing a knock. After all, Lily wouldn't let her be torn limb from limb would she?

Miley rattled the handle a bit, and the door came loose, not entirely locked in the first place. Miley frowned upon seeing Rick in nothing but underwear sitting on the couch, totally knocked out. Heather was in lingerie with enough make up to be a prostitute. Miley sighed, how could Lily bare to walk in on this every day? She would rather walk into an empty house, knowing that her father was well (even if he didn't give a rat's ass), than walk in to find two wasted lives lying disturbingly on the couch.

It disgusted Miley. She decided not to dwell, and made her way upstairs, tiptoeing so as not to act like she was there. As she approached Lily's room, she saw the girl sitting at her makeshift desk. Her head was lying in her folded arms. She looked defeated and tired and Miley hadn't even seen her face yet. But curiosity got the better of her and she walked over, putting a gentle hand on Lily's back.

Lily reacted to the contact immediately. It was either Rick or her mother. Neither of which she wanted anywhere near her. She looked up quickly, seeing it was Miley. Her eyes turned red with rage.

She practically leaped from the chair as though it had suddenly caught fire, and backed Miley into a wall, hands on her collar, pinning her roughly. She knew her hands were cutting into Miley's collarbones, and the fear on Miley's face had her paralyzed and speechless.

Lily, remembering the abuse she suffered and itching to administer a similar pain, rattled Miley into the wall, pulling her back and shoving her. Miley grunted in pain and looked into Lily's eyes. They were untamed and wild with rage, Miley's were wild with pain and confusion and the shock of the situation.

"Does that hurt Miley? Does that fucking hurt?!" Miley, for the first time, looked at Lily's face. One side was bruised black and blue. Had her parents hit her? She looked with confusion before being shoved back into the wall, tears jerking from her eyes as her head made contact.

"What, you gonna start crying now? You gonna start crying you stupid baby? Is that all you fucking do?!" Lily was gonna batter Miley's esteem as much as her face. Miley just looked at her.

"Say something. Mother fucking say something." Lily rattled her, unsure of why the girl hadn't reacted. She looked as though she had no idea what was going on. Why did she even come down here? She had to know she was going to get hurt.

Miley looked into Lily's eyes and tried to summon courage. She recovered her breath and tried to study what Lily's orbs were telling her.

"Lily, why are you doing this? What did I do? Is this about yesterday?" Miley said referring to the unaddressed, unspoken fight they seemed to have gotten into.

"As a matter of fucking fact, it is."

"Lil why were you avoiding me? And what the hell happened to your face? Did your mom or Rick do that?" She spit the name Rick like it was a disease.

"Are you gonna sit there and play stupid while I have you in the perfect position to reinvent my face's new look on yours?" She shoved Miley into the wall, thoroughly aggravated at this _playing dumb_ game.

"I don't understand Lily. Who did that?"

"Like you don't know."

"God dammit Lily who did that?!"

"Your stupid fuck toy Jake." Miley was hurt by the words.

"What are you talking about?"

"He beat me up after school yesterday. Don't pretend like you weren't in on it."

"Lily I had no idea."

"Oh shut the fuck up."

"Lily why would I sit here playing like a dumbass when you're about to beat the living shit outta me? I have no idea what you're talking about. Jake told me to stay away from you, but I figured he was just being an asshole. Actually he'd kill me if he found out I visited." She looked down, thinking she should've heeded his warning. And realizing she probably said too much, she turned pale.

"You'll be dead before he comes for you." Lily poised her hand, ready to punch the daylights out of Miley. She had almost riled in a swing before Miley screamed.

"Shut up Miley."

"Lily would you hurt me?"

"Yes. Easily."

"Lily, the weekend we first hung out, you said you'd never hurt me. Don't hurt me Lil I promise I didn't plan that. Why would I get you hurt like that after all you've done for me?"

Lily's poised hand lowered. She didn't know what to do. But as much as she tried, she couldn't punch the girl. Her fist wouldn't come through for her. She put on her most venomous glare, her eyes glazed in a passionate malice.

She let Miley go, turning her gaze, and walking a few steps away.

"Leave." Her voice was cold and painful and it dug through Miley's heart. Even if Lily did believe that she had nothing to do with it, she couldn't forgive her for not being there, for not keeping her eyes on Jake. She had, in a sense, let Lily get hurt. She had set Lily up for pain the moment she'd stepped in the house the first time. Yes, this was her fault.

"Lily?"

"Leave Miley." Lily didn't even turn around.

"Lily listen to me."

"If you don't leave, the fist won't stop next time." With that, she walked towards the window. And the discussion was left. She watched Miley get in her car, and she sat down, resuming her prior position with her head in folded arms.

Miley sat in her car. Unsure of what she could do. She had no one to talk to. Her fake friends at school were useless, there was only one other person she turned to for help. Jake. And presently, the thought of him made her sick to her stomach. She wasn't sure where to turn, what to do. She'd been left in a rut. She decided to head to the park across the street from Lily's house; maybe she could figure things out by herself.

As she sat, swinging softly on a swing, she looked around. The world was quiet and peaceful and nothing was happening. Nope. Everything was just peachy. Apart from her life crumbling and falling around her shoulders. Apart from the weights on her feet that were dragging her ever downward in the suffocating water. Apart from her heart being torn thread by thread, unraveling the quilt of her stabilities and comforts. Apart from those tiny details, everything was Goddamn peachy.

She pulled out her cell phone. She wanted to call Jake. She wanted to play dumb and ask him what in the hell was going on.

"Hiya Miles, how are you this morning?"

"Jake you left me six voice mails and ten texts yesterday telling me not to go see Lily. Do you wanna tell me why?"

"Miley, that _freak_ is tearing us apart; you clear avoided me after talking to her on Thursday. Then, you didn't talk to me at all yesterday. I don't want you to hang out with her anymore, and you shouldn't want to either if she's trying to take you away from me."

"Jake." She took a deep breath for impatience and anger to leave her. "Jake, why were you freaking out about me seeing her? Did something happen?"

"No Miley, but I know your father wouldn't care to hear about the trash you hang out with."

"JAKE! Don't you call her that. She and I are working on a school project; we _have to_ be around each other."

"Look, the way you two interact is NOT on a project partner basis. Don't lie to me."

"Jake-"

"Did you go see her Miley?"

"What did you do to her? Her face is purple! Dammit Jake what the hell did you do?!"

"I told you not to."

"I just ran into her, I didn't visit."

"Then why are you in the park across from her house?" Miley gasped and the line clicked. Moments later, Jake was walking towards her.

"Care to explain why you would be in _this_ kind of neighborhood, it's not safe Miley."

"Why are you stalking me?"

"I followed you to make sure you were safe, and to see if you would betray my trust. My suspicions were correct. What kind of relationship doesn't have trust?"

"You lied to me first. And you didn't tell me what you did! She thinks I planned it."

"So? What do you care Miley. We are together, and we made a mutual decision to be closer. I told you I'd do anything to strengthen our bond Miley."

"I didn't agree to you beating the shit out of her. You didn't even tell me!"

"Miley, I've tried hard to be nice. I've tried. Now, I can bring your father into this, or you can accept blame for what's happened. Should I call Mr. Stewart?" Miley's eyes were wide with fear at the mention of her father's involvement.

"Jake, don't bring my daddy into this. It's between us."

"No, nothing is between us. You participated in this fight, and you knew it was for the best to warn her to get away from you. I'm the one who actually cares about you Miley, I'm the one who followed you out here and made sure you were safe. She just left you out here in the cold, she's not even friend enough to believe you. And all I'm asking for, Miles, is some trust and loyalty. I'd kill for you sweetheart, I just want us to be happy, and she was stopping us from being happy by filling your head with hate for me. We've loved each other for two years before she tried to interfere. She's probably trying to get you for herself like the sick lesbian she is. Now, come here and kiss me."

Lily sat with her head on her desk. She was just confused and in pain. The only thing she could feel was pain. Everywhere. Out of curiosity, she went to the window, wondering if Miley had left. She saw two people in the park. She strained her eyes to identify them. Miley and Jake. Kissing.

She picked a book off her desk and threw it across the room. Her anger was intense and uncontrollable. She knew Miley had every bit to do with this as Jake. She just couldn't handle the truth. And she was a perfect actress. Just like Jake said. She had her fooled from the start. Now, all she could feel was a pure and opaque hate for this girl.


	16. Cuffed

The coming week proved to be shitty. Miley and Lily hadn't talked since the day Lily nearly killed her. They were both confused. However, Lily seemed to have figured out the perfect solution to all her problems. Avoid Miley. After all, her life was doing just fine before that girl entered. She was passing in school, swallowing her problems, even getting along with Olly. But all Miley would do was pester her until her life was all spread on a counter, being probed and dissected and examined. It was like she was an experiment, and sure Miley brought some laughs when they were getting along, but for the all the times they fought, it wasn't worth it. Miley had this indomitable effort within her to make the friendship work, and like was in her nature, Lily was pushing away.

Miley, on the other hand, couldn't be worse off. It was so confusing. She knew she had something with this girl. She knew she was destined to be friends with her. It had to be. The way she just couldn't release her thoughts from her, it scared her. Maybe gayness wasn't that far away from her. No, she was not gay.

But when her thoughts weren't on Lily, they were on Jake. She didn't know what to believe with him. Ninety nine percent of her wanted to believe that he loved her, and his actions were a violent expression of said love. However, there was a last one percent that knew the truth. But she was always quite talented in suppressing the truth, believing her fantasies until they were engraved as reality. Yes, Jake loved her. Yes, she loved him. No, what he did wasn't right. But, he did it because he loved her. And love always justifies … right?

She had to meet with Lily though. She had to talk to her, interact with her, figure things out. She HAD to. And discreetly.

Jake had had his nosy eyes all over her. He watched her every movement, saying he was caring for her. He even questioned her when she was gone for even moments and he couldn't find her. He was getting to be clingy and hard to deal with, but that was love. That was all she knew of love. Sacrifice.

Lily and Miley had avoided each other like the plague. It was going to be difficult working things out. Jake had started volunteering (but really not giving a choice) to drive Miley home every day. And it was looking impossible to get alone time with Lily. But she had to set things straight.

First step to getting his prying eyes off of her was to listen. She had to listen and play like she was in love. She had to act like what he did to Lily was right; she had to act like she hated Lily. It was the mandatory thing to do. Second step, would be playing the "I need you to trust me" card, a card that would be pulled in the threat of the relationship's strength. Thirdly, she would meet with Lily and beg and plead that they at least clear the air and tie loose ends.

She had no idea what made her do this. She was fine without Lily, content. But _with_ Lily, she was happy. Not just content, happy. And she liked that feeling. Jake used to give her that feeling, but somewhere along the line it had died.

They went an insufferable two weeks. It was the longest, most stressful two weeks either had imagined. Lily actually missed her weekends with Miley, even if they fought; it was still a more pleasant change in atmosphere.

Lily had been having a lot of trouble with Rick. He was starting to get rowdy and suspicious, and she'd spent many a night on the playground. Somehow, going to Oliver's just wasn't an option. However nicer it would've been to be sleeping in the plastic tunnel, stoned and not thinking about her life, Miley's words haunted her. Those begging eyes and pleading words haunted her. As she asked Lily to stop taking drugs. That kiss on her cheek. She knew she wouldn't have the heart to smoke. And it really scared her that she even gave a fuck.

Miley sat, thanking the Lord, knowing it was an act of fate as Jake came up to her on the Friday of a third week without Lily.

"Miley, I've been offered another modeling gig and I have to leave for France tomorrow, and I will be gone for a month. Fear not though, I'll be home for Homecoming. I expect and can count on you to upkeep your behavior while I'm gone. You've been great, I'm so glad we love each other."

He pecked her on the lips after his gallant speech, and sat beside her holding her hand. He was comforting her, but she was just transfixed on the fact that she'd be rid of the guy in a day.

"Oh I do hope you don't miss me too much Miley. I'll call you every night. I promise I won't let this career get in the way of our relationship."

Miley sighed, looking as though she was going to cry.

"I'll really miss you. We've never been apart for a month."

"Don't you worry, I'll have my boys make sure Lily keeps her distance."

"I wouldn't worry if I were you Jakey, I won't let her get near me after what she did to us."

"I knew I could count on you to see the right side of things Miley. I love you so much you know." Miley smiled and grabbed at his face, pulling him in for a deal sealing kiss. _This_ was a sure fire sign that her and Lily were meant to work things out.

They spent the rest of the day together, and she followed him to the airport the next morning. But after he was gone, it was time to mend a broken string.

Lily was walking home from the store. She had to buy groceries or she wouldn't be able to eat. Her mother had let the refrigerator die into nothing but beer bottles and some curdled milk. It was shocking to Lily that her mother could do this to her. In her few sober moments, she could at least consider her daughter's welfare.

As she carried the ingredients for spaghetti home, she remembered the day Miley taught her to cook it. It felt like forever ago. How could someone so nice be so foolish? Her rage for Miley had long died into exhaustion and remorse. She really wished she just hadn't met her, hadn't wasted her time, hadn't leant her heart. But she did. And she knew better. She _knew_ Miley would leave her. It was a fool proof truth about everyone she cared about. And now the inevitable prophecy was being fulfilled.

Miley watched as Lily walked home. It was weird sitting and watching someone else. It felt awkward really, yet, something about watching Lily made her feel loving. After all, Jake watched her all the time, and _he_ was loving. She felt almost as though she was protecting her. But, soon, she'd have to confront her. The thought made her scared and a little queasy, as she wasn't sure exactly how much self restraint Lily would have this time. This could be her death wish.

Lily felt eyes on her. She felt footsteps behind her. Last time she'd detected said noises, she ended up icing her face and treating her cuts. It was a sickening feeling and she began to walk faster.

Miley struggled to keep up, padding softly yet quickly behind Lily, hiding in the shadows so she wouldn't be immediately dismissed. She held the metal in her hand gently, to assure that it didn't jingle. She knew the only thing Lily responded to when she was mad was force. And force and ultimatums were exactly what Miley had planned.

Lily felt shadows behind her. She felt watched. It was all falling on her shoulders and she was about to start running when … she felt a hard metal object encircle her wrist. She quickly turned to look. Hand cuff. She looked at where the other cuff linked a thin wrist. She followed the body to the face. Miley.

Lily huffed and turned around, beginning to walk the way she was going.

"I've been cuffed before Stewart, I can easily get out." She continued to walk, without even looking back, and dragging a whimpering Miley that had just realized the cuffs hurt when the other person resists listening. The metal was pinching into her skin and she couldn't take it and she immediately jerked her hand back.

The force was enough to completely turn Lily, until they were staring dead into each other's hard eyes.

"Miley what the hell are you doing? Why don't you just leave me alone?" Lily's voice was cold, clear, and sharp like an ice pick, and she jabbed it hard into Miley's ear.

"Lily we need to talk and I knew you wouldn't listen to me unless I used force."

"So you cuff me?!" She looked incredulously at the brunette.

"Yeah, so I took some measures. Look, we need to talk about what happened that day after school with Jake. In fact, Jake is the reason I couldn't come back sooner, he's kept me under his gaze so sharp I couldn't risk coming out to talk to you."

"Oh please Miley, you're pathetic. The way you let him treat you like a puppet. Risk? What would you be risking? His 'love?''

Miley inhaled sharply, trying to keep control. After all, Lily _did_ have a legitimate reason to be pissed off.

"Lily, just listen okay? I had nothing to do with Jake beating you up. I know you have every right to be mad. I was furious with him when I found out, I honestly had no idea. But I should've still been there to help you, I should've kept my eye out, but I didn't even know he had it out for you. I'm sorry Lily."

Lily scoffed. "And you still keep him. That makes you no better than part of the beat up."

Miley looked down, staring intently at the ground. There was sadness in her eyes.

"You know I hafta stay with him." She mumbled, not entirely looking into Lily's eyes.

"Why?" Lily had genuine curiosity for this girl.

"Because, I … Lily we're in a relationship."

"That doesn't matter. We both know you don't love him like you say. And you won't even tell me why you stay with him. And you make me open up and tell you everything. You know nothing about trust. No damn thing." Lily started to feel the pent rage boil in her. Miley was such a hypocrite.

Miley looked at the ground again. It was true. It was so true. She didn't love Jake. But she had to pretend she did. She HAD to.

"Look Lily I apologize. I didn't mean to be so nosy. I was just trying to help. I know we have secrets with each other. Maybe we can just stay with secrets. And be friends. I have faults as do you and we can work through them."

"What is with you and being friends with me Miley? We weren't meant to get along. It's so obvious. I was doing fine before you barged into my life and started trying to 'fix' me. I was doing fucking great." Lily was mad, exhausted, and just enraged in a way she didn't understand.

"You wanna know why I wanna be friends with you?"

"That would be nice."

"Lily, when we were hanging out some time ago I promised you I would never leave you. No matter what I would never leave you. Not like everyone else. Now, if you can look me in the eyes and tell me you hate me and don't want me in your life, then I'll leave by your wish."

Lily should have been able to say what she'd been thinking for the past few weeks. I hate you. Yet, she couldn't bring herself to say it. She couldn't summon the anger anymore. No one had ever promised her they'd stay AND came back for her. No one. The way Miley was looking at her with the saddest and most hopeful face, no, she couldn't say it.

"Lily I know we had fun together. We can be friends Lily. We both need some help with our life. If we have nothing else in common, I at least know we both need a best friend. All you have is Oliver. All I have is Jake. We need each other Lily. When else are you gonna find some relentless chick that's addicted to your company?" Miley smiled and giggled a little at the end and a smile broke Lily's lips.

_I may as well just take what I can. After all, when I'm with her, I can use her._ Lily smiled at her justification.

"Lily, Jake's gone for a month and my dad's gone with him. So we can spend the month hanging out, and I'll show you what it's like to have a best friend. But first, can you look into my eyes and tell me to go away?"

Lily looked down. Embarrassed. But shook her head. She couldn't tell her she didn't wanna be friends.

"Good, so maybe we can start over? Hey I'm Miley."

"Lily." They joined in an awkward handshake.

Miley looked down a bit, considering, and looked back up to Lily.

"Will you hug me?" It felt weird coming out of Miley's mouth these days. Lily ought to have given the girl the cold shoulder and told her away, but she couldn't.

She nodded. Miley swung her arms around her neck. Dragging Lily's trapped arm up with her. Lily wrapped her free arm around Miley's waist. It was a hug that held all the agony of fighting for three weeks.

"Thank you." Miley kissed Lily's cheek quickly and smiled at her.

"You're not off the hook yet Stewart." Miley smiled and playfully punched Lily's arm.

"Whatcha got in the bag?"

"Groceries."

"You gonna cook?"

"I hafta attempt to. I'm hungry and poor." Lily smiled as she said this.

"Can I come to your house and help? I wouldn't want you ta cut off your finger again."

They shared a laugh and Lily nodded appreciatively.

Miley unhooked the cuffs and walked to Lily's house with her. Maybe this friendship really _was_ meant to be.


	17. Poisoned Pasghetti

Miley watched as Lily slopped all over her plate, shoveling spaghetti in like she'd never eaten before in her life.

"Don't forget to chew silly." Miley got up to put away her plate. She had a dainty amount of spaghetti, whereas, Lily had placed most of the pot on her plate.

"Hey, don't judge me!" She continued to eat, and Miley took a seat in beside her. After Lily finished inhaling the noodles, Miley handed her the napkin.

"Thanks." Lily took the napkin and wiped her face while Miley took her plate.

"You're being awful nice Miley. Was there poison in there er something?" The brunette smiled and giggled.

"If you start fading to black in a few minutes you'll know." She paused while the humor sunk in. "Did you like it?"

"Missed it for a month!"

"Well I'm glad then. Oh hey you missed a spot." She took her finger and dabbed the portion of Lily's cheek that still had sauce. She had looked like a five year old diving into cake, with her face eating more of her food than her mouth.

"Thank you." Lily blushed a bit and turned away. Miley put the left over spaghetti in the microwave and grabbed Lily's hand, taking her to the living room where they both plopped down on the couch.

"Whatcha wanna do Lil?" Miley was back to her comfort zone, sitting close, and using nicknames. As though nothing had ever happened and they'd been best friends for years. It confused Lily how affectionate and forgiving Miley could be. How she needed someone close, how she begged for her friendship. Of all people, she- the eleventh grade queen- wanted the friendship of a lowlife druggy, and _that_ did not make any sense to Lily.

"I dunno Miley up to you."

"Can we go to the park? Just hang a bit?" _Just hang a bit_ always meant _let's talk and get personal._ And as much as Lily hated that, it was Miley. And she promised herself she would do what Miley wanted so she huffed and nodded.

Suddenly, Rick barged through the door, swaying drunkenly and slurring his speech humiliatingly.

"Hey Li-Li-Lily who-whose yer fr-friend?" He hiccupped and pointed a finger at Miley, the other hand busy clutching a half empty beer bottle. He took a swig.  
"Who-Who is she?!" Lily stood in front of Miley protectively and summoned the courage to address him.

"She's my friend Rick. Now leave us alone. We're leaving."

"No, no you're not going anywhere. Your mom-mom wants y-you home tonight."

"Life's tough Rick. Tell her I'm out."

He came stumbling towards them and Lily backed up a bit.

"Leave us alone Rick." She tried to move toward the door with Miley holding onto her hand for dear life.

"No, l-let me meet yer fr-friend." He reached out and grabbed but Lily swatted his hand.

"Don't touch her." Her voice was cold and malicious.

He grabbed for her again and Lily shot him down with more force. He growled and swung his fist at her. She ducked and narrowly missed it.

"Go Miley." She pushed Miley towards the door in a hurry and stood in front of Rick.

"Leave us alone." He swung another intoxicated fist and Lily pushed him hard. He landed straight on his face. He grunted loudly and tried desperately to get up, screaming profanities as his head had hit the counter.

"Go Miley." Miley had been frozen by the door and Lily was now pushing them both out as fast she could, aware that a blow like that could sober someone's drunkenness enough to supply adrenaline for a chase.

After they had bolted across to the park and where sitting atop the little igloo looking dome thing, Miley looked at Lily with an ample fear in her eyes.

"I-I ca-can't believe you di-did that." Her voice, as well as her body was shaking uncontrollably.

"He would've grabbed you and Lord knows what he would've done Miley. Are you okay?" Miley grabbed for Lily's hand and she hesitantly gave it up.

"I dunno. But you can't go back there tonight, he'll come after you and I don't even wanna think about what he'd do to you." The realization hit Lily like a ton of bricks, and suddenly the spaghetti was in her throat and her stomach was turning.

"Lil, you're really pale. You need to come home with me. I will NOT let you stay at you house or anywhere else. You're staying with me tonight. Even if I have to cuff you to the bedpost." Miley blushed and looked down, realizing the double meaning in her words.

Lily shook off the _mind in the gutter_ thinking that was running through her, and looked up to Miley, giving the best appreciative and sincere smile she could muster given the queasiness she was suffering.

"Thank you Miley." Miley nodded and smiled back, adoring the fact that she'd reeled a genuine smile out of Lily.

"Hey, you look a little sickly. Come get into my car and we'll head to my house." Miley took her already captive hand and pulled Lily from the igloo dome thing.

"I'm gonna keep hold of this so you don't run off." She indicated Lily's hand and then wrapped both her arms around Lily's one arm, bringing her a little closer.

When they arrived at the mansion, Lily's stomach hadn't quite recovered. It was starting to seem like a little more than just the queasiness she was feeling before. She was in the guest bed lying down, as much as she hated mooching, she really didn't feel well.

"Miley I'm starting to believe my poison theory wasn't that far off!" She growled playfully.  
"Lil I ate the same thing silly." She came over and sat by Lily, giving her water and Tylenol.

"Okay take this and I'll be back in a sec I think you have a fever." To confirm her belief she stuck a hand on Lily's warm forehead and watched her recoil from the touch.

"Are you cold?"

"Freezing."

"Okay hang on." She went to get a thermometer. It read 100 degrees. It was just something she could sleep off.

"Alright sweetie you definitely have a fever. Just relax okay. Does your tummy hurt?" Lily smiled at Miley's cute way of saying stomach. This was how her mother used to treat her when she was sick when she was little. But she tried not to think of her mother now.

Miley came back a put a cool rag on Lily's head, brought her a jacket, and tucked her in.

"Mileeeeyy my belly hurts." Lily whined, abandoning her thoughts of being burdenous. All she knew was that her stomach hurt.  
"Okay this is what my dad used to do." Miley peeled down the sheets and, unashamedly, pulled up Lily's shirt. Lily tensed under the action; it was all way too weird for her to have Miley pulling up her shirt.

"Hey I know you're uncomfortable Lil. Try to relax and stop tensing. I promise it will feel good." Lily blushed a little at Miley's choice of words, but let it go. Miley began rubbing her stomach, slow and soothing circles.

"Mi-" The _burdeny _feeling was dawning on her.

"Shhh" Miley hushed her quickly.

"Try ta sleep Lil." The brunette continued her circles as the girl began to stop squirming under her touch. Soon, Lily had stopped moving all together, and just lay staring at the ceiling. She had spent a while staring at Miley's hand, as though she would suddenly pull a knife. But then, she just began to relax, realizing there was no winning.

Miley began to hum and there was no way to keep her eyes open. She tried her best to keep her eyes open. But the medicine and the touching and the humming was taking over her senses. She was feeling drowsiness suffocating her. Even though she kind of felt lousy for Miley going to all this trouble for her, she couldn't stay awake. And slowly, her eyes fluttered to sleep. Her last memory of a soft rubbing on her stomach, a soft humming in her ears, and an overwhelming scent of strawberries in her nose.

As she opened her eyes, she saw Miley sitting on the other side of the bed, atop the covers, with her Ipod in her ears and a magazine at her hands. She turned over to look at the girl. She felt that the rag had been taken off her head, and her stomach felt much better.

"Hey Lil you're awake, how do you feel?" She pulled the headphones out of her ears and set down the magazine, grabbing the thermometer from beside the bed.

"Okay I'm gonna take your temperature again just to make sure you've gone down a bit. Sometimes, you just get a random bout of sickness and you just have to sleep it off." She stuck the thermometer under Lily's tongue and waited until a glowing 98 degrees shot back at her.

"Alright, you're fever went down. You were probably just reacting to stress or to lack of sleep. Have you been doing okay lately?" Lily nodded, the questions and words were really just flying in through both ears and out of them, as her delirious state was yet to wear off.

"Are you thirsty or hungry? Or would you just like to relax the sleepiness off?" Lily nodded again at the last one and Miley tapped her nose, before descending downstairs.

She returned moments later with a glass of water and another Tylenol. Lily took them both gratefully and sucked the water down. She was starting to feel a little more into it.

"Sorry for getting all illnessy on you Miley. Thanks for taking such good care of me. Were you sitting there the whole time I was asleep?"

"Aww don't worry Lil, it was no trouble. And yeah you were asleep for about three hours. I just stayed to make sure you didn't get sick or anything, just making sure you were alright." Lily nodded and smiled.

"How about you go take a shower and then meet me downstairs okay? It's only nine o' clock."

"Okay, but-"

"I'm gonna go get some pajamas for you Lil. So if you leave the bathroom door unlocked, I won't come in I'll just put um on the counter." Lily nodded and got up to go to the shower.

She felt revitalized under the warm water. It was almost the comfort she felt being nursed by Miley. Man, Miley's touch was so peaceful and loving. It was unlike anything she'd ever felt before. It was just pure affection. Miley wasn't trying to get anything out of it. She was just being … nice. Lily didn't understand it at all. But she made up her mind to reward Miley with a surprise hug when she got out.

And so she did as she wrapped Miley in a giant unsuspected hug.

"Well I'm taking that you feel better!" Miley smiled big.

"Well I just wanted to thank you for taking such good care of me after poisoning me." Lily replied with the most innocent smile. Miley frowned playfully.

"I did NOT poison you!"

"Ahh so maybe it's just your presence that makes me sick!"

"You take that back Truscott!"

"Make me Stewart!" They engaged in a mad tickle fest until they both collapsed onto the couch.

"Watch a movie with me?"

"No chick flicks." Miley smiled at Lily's boyish antics.

"Alright then. Gosh you're such a guy Lil. You're _supposed_ to like all that gooey, mushy love!"

"Well I don't like my movies to have the same adjectives as marshmallows! Go make some popcorn for the ill." Miley laughed and put a loving punch in Lily's shoulder.

The rest of the night they sat close, not yet cuddling, but together. It was spent with Miley drawing mindless lines on Lily's hand with her fingertips, the action movie sucking their attention.


	18. Stay with me?

The next day, Miley insisted on taking Lily shopping. She was determined to brighten the skater girl's wardrobe. This was NOT something the blonde enjoyed or was interested in, but Miley was worth a slight discomfort. It was impossible to be mad or frustrated with the brunette, yet, it was impossible to feel fully satisfied with friendship. It was a weird feeling. This _friendness_ was something that was new and awkward for Lily. But it was something she realized she really didn't mind.

She decided the best thing to do was just relax and let Miley take the reins. The only rule she posed for herself, was to _never ever_ get emotionally attached, though it was hard with Miley's relentless affection. Every time they met up, and whenever the moment gave way, Miley's arms were around Lily's neck. It wasn't a bad feeling, but an unusual one, and Lily couldn't help but feel more than a little suspicious that _friends_ didn't do this. It seemed so much more … personal.

However, Lily was growing accustom, even though this was her first weekend with Miley in nearly a month. But everything seemed a little too _weird_ when she made to leave Sunday evening.

They were sitting on the couch, having just come back from around five hours at the mall, and it was about five pm- the usual time Lily went home.

"Hey Miles, thanks a lot for letting me stay over this weekend, but I really gotta get home now. It's around five." Lily began to get up, but Miley took her hand and jerked her back into a sitting position facing her.

"Miley?"

"Lil, can I ask you something?" The brunette's face was evidently worried.

"Umm yeah Miles … uh … sure." The blonde looked a bit uneasy with Miley's concerned expression.

"Hear me out. Please."

"Alrighttttt." Lily drew the word out in confusion.

"Will you stay with me the month my daddy and Jake are gone?" Lily was close to commenting in a confident _no_, but Miley beat her to it.

"Lil, wait. I see the way it is at your house and I just … I dunno …" She tried to change the reason for Lily staying, so it wouldn't sound like pity. "… I mean I'm in the house alone for a month and I know I'm a big girl but I don't wanna be alone I guess."

Red was creeping up her neck, she was having a hard time not stuttering, and she couldn't look at Lily. It all seemed too wrong. She felt like she was being way too forward, but at the same time she knew that Lily made her feel safe. And she felt better when she knew Lily was safe. She didn't understand her feelings, but she liked feeling happy instead of content, and Lily made her happy.

" I dunno Miley. I don't think so. My mom may be a drunken bitch, but she's my drunken bitch and I need to take care of her." Lily looked down, embarrassed that Miley had found a weak side of her, and that her eyes were pouring admiration for her. But at the same time, they were muddled with sadness.

Miley couldn't help but think that Lily's mom was her excuse of displaying that she didn't want to hang around her that much. Maybe she was being too forceful and annoying to the blonde. She looked down, sadly, and decided to test the waters.

"Lily do you like me?" the shorter girl was taken aback by the question, unsure of what connotation it was made to implicate.

"We _are_ friends aren't we?" She decided to go with the one that seemed most fit.

"I feel sometimes like… never mind. I'm sorry Lily."

"What are you sorry for? And what were you going to say?"

"I guess …" Lily waited patiently for the answer, allowing her face to relax into a comforting encouragement.

"I guess sometimes I feel like I'm forcing you into hanging out with me. And I don't know what makes me want to hang out with you so much but I really love your company and I know I must be seriously freaking you out but I don't understand. I just really like being your friend Lily but I think I make you uncomfortable and I think, sometimes, I'm making you hang out with me and you're too nice to tell me that I'm annoying you. But I can't bear to see you being treated like you're treated at home. You deserve so much more because you're a really special girl and you care for your mom even though she doesn't take care of you. But if something ever happened to you I don't know what I'd do because you're really important to me. And I dunno I'm sorry Lily I shouldn't have offered, I know it musta freaked you out."

She let out the breath she was holding and sucked in a fresh bit of air. After all, that whole speech went by in one breath, so fast that you could've missed it if you weren't listening with the ears of a caring friend.

Lily exhaled and raised her eyebrows, taking in the words slowly. _Wow. Man, Miley sure thinks a lot of me. Goddamn that was just like a proposal. Oh shit, there's no way she could lik- Ew she is so straight._

The blonde sat thinking about how Miley had just poured herself out to her. Did she really think that the friendship was one-sided? Well, if Lily knew how to deal with friends better, maybe it wouldn't seem like that. But, honestly, she was clueless. And the way Miley was sitting with a face like a tomato, she was definitely going to have to choose her words carefully for fear she set off the ticking time bomb of emotions that was her brunette friend.

"Miley?" She still looked at the ground, mindlessly fingering a loose lace on the couch. She looked thoroughly embarrassed and very anxious as to Lily's reaction. Most of all, she was afraid she would run the girl away, she knew emotion wasn't something the younger girl could deal with well. And she felt like she had said way too much, and she was hoping that Lily didn't see their friendship as Miley taking pity for her. Everything Miley did for Lily was from her heart, not for charity but for friendship.

"Miley will you look at me?" Lily put her hand under the girl's chin, and made her look into her eyes.

Lily took a deep breath.

"I've never had someone care about me like that Miley. I've never heard someone say something like that. And I'm not freaked out. And you don't annoy me. You're one of the sweetest people I know. I'm really grateful to have you." She stopped, feeling her own redness creep as she let her heavily protected emotion of happiness and care pour out. She really didn't know how to word the love she felt. How _loved_ she felt at the moment. Though, she knew the only thing that was secure this belief, was if she agreed to stay.

"Umm … if the offer still stands, I'd like to spend the month with you, but I'll hafta work out taking care of my mom."

Miley's eyes went wide and, uncontrollably, she swung her arms around Lily.  
"Thanks for staying Lil, thank you, thank you, thank you!" Wow. There was way too much excitement in Miley's voice. _Why is she so excited to have ME stay with her? I'm not like a celebrity._

The moment of relief had come and passed and now Miley was cooking and Lily was sitting at a bar stool at the island, watching her.

"Is minestrone good with you?" Lily missed the question. She was watching the girl intently. She enjoyed seeing the happiness that the kitchen brought her. She traced her profile with her eyes, and she stared at the detailed intricacy of her face and form. She really was beautiful. Lily knew she shouldn't think that, but it was true. She was gorgeous and no matter how confused she felt about her, she knew there was nothing less than beauty before her.

"Lil?" Miley waved her hand in front the blank face and Lily checked in.

"Are you done checking me out?" Wow. Busted.

"I … uhh … I was NOT... checking you … o-out!" Even the blonde knew she sounded stupid and deer-in-the-headlights-y.

Miley chuckled out her hearty laugh. "Alright then, goofy, whatever you say. So is minestrone good for you?" She pulled the subject, knowing it flustered Lily.

"Mhmm," Lily mumbled, trying to hide her embarrassment.

They were comfortably silent and Lily, accidently, let her eyes fall back on Miley. Yes, she was definitely beautiful.

But something was sitting heavy on Lily's mind. She didn't want to ask, but something told her she had to. She decided to throw caution to the wind.

"Miley?" Miley looked up from stirring the soup and gave a kind smile, silently telling her to continue.

" Why me?" The brunette put the spoon down and seemed to take in the words and marinate in them.

"Whatcha mean Lil?" Her face was screwed in confusion.

"I mean like why do you try so hard to be friends with me? Even when I've pushed you away so much."

Miley sighed, stringing words in her head.

"Something tells me we were meant to be friends. Like, there's this voice in my head that told me that I had to give being your friend a try. And when I listen, though it's hard, it's usually right. And I guess we had this connection by having hard lives. And when I got to know you, I knew you had a kind heart. Like a good kid that was mislead. And I guess I wanted to be the beacon that got your ship going the right path, you know the shoulder to cry on, the person to go to. I just never had a best friend and I always wanted one, and I knew it would be difficult but I wanted you. I _know_ you need a friend and I wanna be there for you. Plus, we are both not what people expect."

Lily took the information in, it was true, and she did want a friend. She remembered that Oliver was the ear she always cried in, the arm that was always around her shoulders, and she missed that. If only Olly could have stayed the same, her life would be better. It'd HAVE to be. But here was Miley, trying so hard. And Lily just couldn't understand that.

"Miley, you're a cheerleader. You're supposed to be a snob. And you're not even supposed to associate with losers like me. You've got the perfect school life, the perfect public life. And, yet, you've gone and become friends with trash."

"Lily, like I said, we're not what people expect. I am a cheerleader, and I lead the stereotypical life at school, but none of them are real friends. They are as fake as their noses. And you make yourself out to look tough and strong, and you are, but you're also sweet and soft. And don't you ever call yourself trash again; we both know you're better than that."

Lily smiled a bit at the genuine words, the compliment, and the comment of their noses. But she suddenly turned serious.

"Miley, but you want me to be this great best friend and I'm not. I do drugs and I skip school and… and …I've never had a close friend and I don't know … how?" She felt her face turn red from her admittance of her flaws, feeling obligated to point them out.

Miley abandoned her cooking to come around to the island where Lily was sitting. She came up on her left and put her right hand on her back, rubbing it soothingly. She put her left hand under Lily's chin to meet their eyes.

"I'm not a good person Mi-" Lily's eyes looked almost tearful, but Miley cut her off by putting her index finger to her lips.

"Yes you are Lily. And you are being a great friend by staying with me when I didn't wanna be alone. And if you just let me keep trying, and you keep trusting me, that's all it takes, okay? And don't even think you're nothing, because you're plenty in my eyes. I know you have a good heart." Miley reached out and put her hand on Lily's heart and they looked for at least a minute into each other's eyes. But realizing what she was caressing, she retracted her hand immediately and tried to avoid an awkward moment.

"Why don't you wash up and get ready for dinner?" She completely evaded Lily, moving as far away as possible. Lily nodded and left for the bathroom, too, trying to evade. Miley stood at the counter, leaning on it, realizing how she'd just acted with Lily. The blonde was right, people like _them_ shouldn't interact. But being with Lily made her happy and she wasn't going to ditch her no matter what.

Thankfully, after dinner, they'd both gotten over the moment. And they readied themselves for school.


	19. Got the hots for U

Life was good. Yes. Life was _good._

Lily and Miley had successfully spent an entire week at the mansion. They hadn't killed each other in their sleeps, hadn't fought, in fact, they worked like a well-oiled machine. They would be perfect roommates … they kind of were. They had devised a plan to keep care for Lily's mother, and every other day they'd visit the house and leave two days of meals and a pile of clean clothes.

Often when they went, Lily's mom was passed out on the couch with beer bottles around her. It was a cliché alcoholic scene. Every time Lily saw this, no matter how used to it she was, Miley noticed a drop in her face. It was as though every other day she was hoping to see her smile, hear her talk, anything that signified her sober state. But it was a vain wish and they both knew it. They would work in silence, Miley knew it was better to leave Lily to her thoughts, and the blonde would write her mom a little note to let her know who had done the work, though she doubted she read it.

Miley hated to see the sadness that dawned on her little friend. She was inconsolable (even more so than usual) when it came to the subject of her mother. Yet, she always found comfort in the hug Miley captured her in when they got home.

Miley was the most matronly figure Lily had ever had. In any other case, if this wasn't Miley, Lily might've found it weird that a _friend_ cared for her like a mom. But, hey, it was her _best_ friend, and the brunette knew she needed a mother's affection sometimes. For Miley knew how it felt to miss a mommy. And they had a silent and unspoken bond of Miley caring for her little friend, and Lily learning to accept such affection.

They were sitting at the table that Lily had set and eating the Chef Salad that Miley had just made. Like usual, Lily was wolfing her food down like as though taking a breath would allow it time to vanish. And Miley was looking at her with the curios and loving face that she reserved _just _for her.

"Lil, chew and swallow. Stop inhaling your food, you'll get a tummy ache." Her face was giving the scolding yet caring look of a mother and Lily couldn't help but stare at it in wonderment.

Miley realized the staring and gave back a confused look.

"Whatcha staring at? Do I have something on my face?" Miley anxiously passed a napkin over her mouth, to find that nothing was on her face. So, instead, she stared back with the same expectant look.

"I can't believe you just scolded me. And you said tummy." Lily's serious face cracked and she laughed at Miley's mom-ness.

"Excuse me? You look at me like I have five hundred noses because I told you to stop vacuuming up your food and said the word 'tummy'?" She tried to keep a serious face as well, but it faltered slightly. She had the weirdest expressions. They both burst out laughing, and Lily looked back at her, getting her sentimentality on.

"Ha Miley I don't think I've been scolded in like eight years. You know you have to care about someone to scold them right?" Miley smiled at this.

"Well Lily Bear, I guess you found my secret…I care about you…shhhh." She finished off in a whisper and they both erupted in fresh laughter. Mainly because they enjoyed each other's company; and laughing was something Lily loved to do and hadn't done very often.

"Ya know Lil it's Friday. You wanna do something tonight?" Miley moved on after they'd laughed and finished dinner, they were currently cleaning their dishes. But it was only six o' clock.

"Sure. Whatta you usually do on Friday nights?" The brunette shifted uneasily.

"I…uuh…usually hang out with Jake."

"Oh."

"How about going to the beach?"

"There could be people we know at the beach Miley."

"Yeah…why?"

"Ya know people from school?? We don't really hang out in the 'school-world.'" Lily chuckled and Miley joined in.

"Yeah you're right Lil. How about…you wanna just hang out and watch a movie?"

"Uhh yeah…" Her phone vibrated. "Hang on Miles."

Lily addressed her phone. The caller ID said it was Oliver. That was unusual. Oliver never calls, if _anything_ he texts. But he's not really one for communication.

"Hey…Olly." She knew the last experience they'd had together was a bad one that involved him forcing himself at her, and her throwing twenty bucks at him. It was odd for him to associate with her, let alone call her. She usually had to make up with some sexual favor when she pissed him off.

"Umm Lil are you busy?"

"Oliver I'm not in the mood for…ya know."

"Are you in the mood for weed? I'll take money if you want."

"No I'm not." She started to get pissed, how dare he assume she would always want weed like some pothead.

"Okay. Do you think we could hang out? Nothing bad just maybe a beer and just hanging?"

Wow. Now this was unusual. This was NOT Oliver. This was sounding something like the Olly she used to love. His voice even sounded a little brighter, less cynical and drugged over. He sounded sober.

"Umm yes. I mean yeah I'd love to. Can I bring someone?"

"Is it a girl?"

"Yes."

"Yeah that's fine. I'll pick you up in ten, where are you?"

"I'll meet you where we met least time, kay?"

"Kay. Bye Lily."

"Bye … Olly?"

Okay. That was weird. One of the weirdest phone calls ever. Lily felt bad at agreeing, but hearing Oliver like that, she _needed_ to go out with him. She _had _to hang out with him. A chance at experiencing the Olly she loved was a chance she couldn't pass up. She looked to Miley who looked like she was trying to piece together the conversation, having only heard one side of it.

"Oliver?" She inquired.

"Yeah, he's picking me up in ten."

"Umm … Oliver Oken, like with the drugs?"

Lily sighed impatiently. "Yeah, him."

Miley took in an exasperated inhalation. "Lil, I thought …" She exhaled pointedly, "… I thought you were over the drugs. I though you stopped taking them." She was immediately offended that Lily felt like getting high after hanging out with her.

"I'm not going for drugs!" Lily's voice was cold and she immediately felt sorry at the fall of the brunette's face. It pissed her off that Miley would just _assume_ she wanted drugs. But then again, what else would she know him as, other than a drug dealer. "I'm … uhh … just going out to hang with him."

Miley was unconvinced. "Okay Lil, sorry for offending you."

Lily knew she didn't entirely believe that their meeting was limited to hang out. She didn't even want to do anything else. She just wanted a bit of her old friend back, and he was offering a free piece, giving back the warmth of the cold place she had for him in her heart.

"Would you like to come with me? Uhh … he said you could. You don't hafta worry about us hanging, he doesn't really give a crap about stereotypes er cheerleaders er social status, ya know?"

Honestly, the blonde didn't want the company, but it was necessary. This was friendship. And she knew Olly wouldn't step out of line if front of Miley, nor would he pressure her with Miley there, and at least then she looked like she was showing trust. After all, though she would never admit it, she really _did_ want the brunette to like her.

"I dunno Lil." She knew she wouldn't fit into the situation, but she needed to protect Lily. It had to be Oliver who corrupted her. Lily seemed just too sweet to be the kind to voluntarily go into drugs. Plus, even if the blonde was lying and she had planned on drugs, she wouldn't do them with her there.

"Alright, you don't have to. I don't think you'd like him anyways. Just thought I'd offer. Maybe we can hang tomorrow?"

"Nah Lil, if ya'll are friends then he must be cool." She laughed off her nervousness and Lily joined the laugh, not wanting to explain _why_ she felt so strongly toward him.

"Okay come with me, we're walking to the diner on 5th street, that's where he'll meet us, okay?"

They walked up until they had met with the big black truck, shiny, with big silver rims, that said OLLIVR on the license plate. Miley gripped Lily's hand.

"No drugs right Lils?"

"Right." She squeezed Miley's hand and smiled quickly, watching as the big figure descended the vehicle.

Oliver, who was presently walking toward them, looked oddly calm and happy. He seemed very chill and that was an uncanny emotion for the usually drugged-out side of him. He wasn't wearing his usual oversized hoodie and baggy jeans. Instead, he wore a tighter fitting long sleeve shirt, a properly-sized American Eagle Jacket, and American Eagle jeans, even his hair was combed and properly placed. More than any time before, he looked like _exactly _like the Olly Lily loved and often remembered. She all but fought the urge to run into his arms.

"Hey Lil! Hey, uhh, Miley?" Miley nodded and stepped a bit more behind Lily, while Lily looked up at his accusing eyes.

"Yeah, she's my friend. Not a problem right?" Lily asked defensively.

Oliver looked like a deer-in-the-headlights at the sudden anger.

"Nah, it's no problem Lily. So, what would you girls like to do tonight?"

To this, Miley looked strangely at Lily, wondering what she would say.

"I dunno Olly what cha thinking of? What'd you wanna do when you invited us?" Lily emphasized the _us_ and looked to him again as they walked toward his car again.

"Umm, well how about dinner and a movie. Just something like Martin's Pizza and one of the new releases?"

Lily stopped and smiled. "Yeah but no–"

"No chick flicks!" Oliver finished, and Lily's smile widened tenfold. Olly remembered!

The night went by with ease and tranquility. Miley settled her anxiety after getting over the fact that she was hanging out with a renowned drug dealer. And when their evening was finished, the trio gathered at the exit of the theatre.

"Lil I hafta pee." Miley said, urgently awaiting Lily to follow.

"Okay me too, hang on I'll just get Olly to hold my stuff." Seeing that Lily wanted a moment with Oliver, Miley began to descend to the restroom.

"Thanks a lot Olly, for all this."

"Hey, thanks for coming Lil. I've missed you, and I hardly ever get to see you smile anymore." Oliver gave a big smile, that was easily returned, and the two just stood looking into each other's eyes.

"Uh, Miley's probably looking for me, hold my phone?" Lily said quickly, tearing her eyes away and avoiding an awkward moment.

"Yeah, no problem."

When Lily was finally out of Oliver's sight she jumped up and cracked a new grin.

"You're excited!" Miley said with a smile, coming over to the red faced blonde.

"So what, are you and shaggy head together?" She laughed out.

"Don't call him that!" Lily said with a playful slap to the other's arm. "And no, why would you think that?"

"Huh duh, the way he looks at you."

"And how's that?"

"Like he really likes you but he's too afraid."

Lily suddenly closed, feeling a wealth of indescribable emotions swelling in her chest.

"Ha, reading people's eyes again?" Lily started, making light of the situation.

"Hey, make fun if you will, but he's got the hots for you."


	20. The Only One

**Yes you guys I know this chapter is painfully short but I feel like it needs to be alone.**

When the duo had finally made it home, it was nine thirty at night. The car ride had been pleasantly silent, with Lily driving and Miley fighting sleep beside her.

"Did you have fun, I knew you were apprehensive but was it okay?" Lily asked, throwing the keys onto the counter.

"Yeah it was cool. I thought Oliver was totally different. He doesn't dress like that for school does he?" Miley responded, yawning.

"Nah, usually he looks like a druggy." The blonde said laughing. "Are you tired?"

"Yeah, kinda, but I don't feel like going to bed." The brunette answered, yawning again.

"You sure about that?" Lily chuckled.

"Yup!"

"Well whatcha wanna do?"

"Just watch TV, but you don't hafta stay with me."

"Ha, I don't mind."

"Alright!"

Lily made her way onto the couch and lay with her feet sliding off the edge. Miley came over and lay on the opposite end, her feet resting on Lily's tummy as always. Miley flipped through the channels while Lily thought about Oliver. _"He's got the hots for you"…_ It wasn't true. It couldn't be. Oliver doesn't date anymore.

The two were silent for about an hour's time, and as they were "half-watching" the television Lily looked over to the brunette.

"Why do you stay friends with me? I know I've asked before, but there must be something else besides just having a friend."

Miley sat up straighter and looked over.

"Because, you're more than just a friend to me. You helped me get through some of the hardest times of my life. When I yelled at you and hit you, you just hugged me and told me it was okay. I know we started off enemies. You taught me to be a bitch when I had to be and at the same time you taught me loyalty and helped me when I was down. Lily you're the greatest person I know."

Her voice had becoming soothingly soft and whisperous. She slowly got to her feet, walked over to the blonde, and kneeled before her.

"You really are the only one I can count on. Even when you're angry, at least you're paying attention." She weaved her fingers through the long blonde locks, their eyes were locked, peripherals black. Their faces were inches away. Time seemed to just stop. The taller girl could feel something pushing her forward, wanting to get closer. Her eyes closed, but only for a blink. Immediately she jumped back and shook her head subtly.

"I'm kinda tired. I think I'm gonna hit the sack. Night Lil!" And just like that, the brunette high-tailed out of the room, leaving a very confused blonde who could feel a burning in her gut.


	21. Supercalafragalistically Horrible

**I'm gonna hafta apologize in advance my loves.**

Miley sat up in bed. It was so wrong, so gross, so horrible to think that she almost kissed her best friend. Yes, it was supercalafragalistically, epically, World War Threelily, and unbelievably universe- endingly horrible to think that her lips almost touched Lily's. Well, maybe it wasn't _that_ bad, she was probably a good kisser, but just the fact that it nearly happened had Miley in hysterics.

The worst part of all was that she_ wanted _to kiss Lily. She'd felt it, the spark that comes when you look at someone you really like. It came, it had never come before with the blonde. It came when she first kissed Jake. It was a tiny pit of hope being planted and growing. Jake's pit was a dying piece of crap. But this pit looked promising. And she hated it. She couldn't stand the thought of feeling like that towards someone like Lily. Someone who depended on her for a home, someone who looked up to her and trusted her.

_I wonder if she knows I almost kissed her. Maybe, hopefully, she thought I was just looking reallllly closely at her. Maybe I could tell her that I was about to squish a bug on her lips with mine but then it flew away. Maybe I could say I'm kind of deaf and I came a little closer to her to hear her better… Oh wait! She didn't say anything. She was probably scared to freakin' death._

"Ugh, useless!" She declared, finding absolutely no avail in her idiotic excuses, she would just have to hope and pray that Lily remembered that she was just a very physical person and that she liked to be close.

**---*---**

Lily hadn't moved at all since Miley left. She could still smell the strawberry of her lip-gloss, inches, centimeters, millimeters away from her own. She shook her head, much like Miley had done, and finally stood up and walked to her room. What was happening? What _just _happened?

Alas she sat on her bed, fingering the sheets with detached concentration. Maybe that wasn't a near kiss. Nope, not at all. She probably just imagined their proximity. After all, it faded in seconds, she probably never moved closer, she probably never closed her eyes, it was all just her imagination, yup, imagination.

Content with her conclusion she fell asleep with the smallest bit of subconscious hope settling in a foreign region of her heart.

---*---

"Morning." Lily greeted lazily, shuffling into the kitchen and yawning deeply.

"Hey Lil." Miley answered stiffly, slaving over the stove.

"It's Saturday, got any plans?"

"Nah, but here you go, came down at just the right time." Miley handed the plate of eggs over to Lily, brushing her hand in the process. As soon as they made contact, Miley pulled her hand away so fast it literally made a _whoosh_ sound in the air.

"Wow a little jumpy this morning huh? Too much coffee already?" Lily laughed and Miley offered a small forced chuckle. Her eyes were a little darker in their circles and she looked nervous and anxious. Lily knew she was probably thinking about last night. _Might as well clear the air. _

"Look is something on your mind Miles?"

"No, nothing's on my mind. What would be on my mind?"

"I dunno, anything happen last night?"

"No! What happened last night?! I mean nothing happened last night. Last night was uneventful. What do you mean what happened last night?!"

"I…uh…didn't mean anything, just wondering if something happened." Lily said, feeling very uncomfortable with Miley's sudden burst of anxiety. She _did _imagine the whole thing. Miley never meant to kiss her. Boy was that a relief.

"Right, ohhh you mean going out with Oliver? No I told you I had fun doing that." Miley played off like she had no idea what was going on, quite proud of herself for completely diverting the attention from the kiss. _Wait, was Lily even referring to the kiss?_

Miley came around to sit at the island with Lily, but she scooted the chair a little further away from normal, making the blonde more than a little suspicious.

"I think you need a boyfriend Lil, ya know like me."

Lily sighed heavily. Was this really gonna turn into a 'me and Jake will live happily ever after' discussion?

"No I'm good. They're too much trouble. And, ha, you still consider that loser your boyfriend?"

"Well he is Lily, and I love him. I mean I'm not some dumb lesbian." Miley said that last part in pure malice as though she were accusing Lily.

"Neither am I Miley." Lily said, trying to keep her cool.

"Well you never have any boyfriends!" _Why am I picking on her? _Miley thought. _Why can't I stop?_

"I have had boyfriends Miley. I just don't need one right now, can you just drop it for God's sake." _Why won't she just leave me the fuck alone?!_

"Sure you have Lily. Why does this make you so uncomfortable then?"

"Because you're being a bitch just like when we met. What the fuck's gotten into you?!"

"You've gotten into me! You're just some stupid mooch hanging around this place like a bum."

Lily stood, her face was red with anger.

"You invited me you stupid bitch! I didn't even wanna live here, you _know_ that!"

"Oh stop your whining you…you…whore!"

"Oh go fuck yourself Miley. Better yet, go fuck Jake. Because frankly, I don't give a shit anymore and I'm tired of playing house with you like I'm your little baby doll friend."

With that, Lily marched to the door, slammed it so hard the frame nearly cracked, and walked nearly two miles before just plopping down on the curb with her face buried in her arms and her knees buried in her chest. What had just happened? What's wrong with Miley?

---*---

Miley closed her eyes and put her face in her hand, softly crying. What possessed her to do that to Lily? She could see the hurt in Lily's eyes as she left. She was a monster, a heart breaking monster.

But she was doing the right thing. She couldn't like Lily, they _weren't _meant to be friends. She just couldn't. She couldn't. She did the right thing. She had to remember that she was off-limits. She would endanger Lily's safety. She loved Jake, she had to remember she loved him. And as she looked around, tears pouring down her eyes, she could still faintly smell the vanilla of Lily, but the room had gotten darker as it sighed for her absence.

**Dramaaaaaaa… don't pretend you don't love it. And who **_**doesn't **_**wanna totally slap some common sense into Miley?**


End file.
